# my sex fantasy -- is this weird? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434 "2002-05-11T03:43:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/1 "2002-05-11T03:43:24Z")
I wonder how many potential viewers are deterred when they see my name with my topics? Anyways, setting the scene for this hilarious anecdote. My girlfriend and I are doing naughty things on her bed which, for reasons I never cared to ask, has balloons on it. She’s lying on my chest and we’re consuming each other with our mouths. I suddenly pull my hands from her face and trace them down her body, where I grab the elastic of her workout sweats. I pull it away from her backside and jam a purple balloon down there. Shocked, she pulls away from me, propping herself on her arms and staring down at me with a total _wtf?_ expression. I reply, “This is one of my greatest fantasies. Now make a noise like a clown.” I know, I know, I didn’t think anything could get any funnier than my particular brand of wit, either… then I found out she was afraid of clowns. That was two days ago and I’m still laughing hysterically when I think about it. Every time I chortle at the memory she just turns dour and warns, “Motherf\*\*\*\*r, strangers offer to buy me jewelry every day. Why the hell am I with you?” P.S. I posted the answer to my Hotmail password riddle, if anyone’s still fuming about that. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/2 "2002-05-11T04:29:55Z")
Um… Okay. I know that there are people in the world with balloon fetishes…but clowns? That’s a new one on me… I’d call it weird. But not weird/bad, just weird/weird. ---
**Author:** ![Tsubaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Tsubaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tsubaki)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/3 "2002-05-11T04:38:13Z")
**Anal** you are just too much. ---
**Author:** ![LolaBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/4 "2002-05-11T04:54:58Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Anal Scurvy \* > \*\* > "Motherf_\*\*\*r, strangers offer to buy me jewelry every day. Why the hell am I with you?" > \*\* Yeah, why? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/5 "2002-05-11T04:55:33Z")
Anal, well, I saw the subject for the OP and then noted that you had posted it. At that point my first thought was, yes, Anal you are a freak. Then I read the OP and got sorta turned on…then decided we are both freaks. On second thought, I didn’t get turned on, you are just a freak. 🙂 Slee ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/6 "2002-05-11T06:00:55Z")
Stop clown porn now: [http://www.StopClownPornNow.org/clownporn/index.html](http://www.StopClownPornNow.org/clownporn/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/7 "2002-05-11T15:41:38Z")
Some kind of zen thing: What is the sound of a clown with a balloon down the back of her pants? Zzzzzzzrrrrrrrbbbbbb-bp-bp-bpt. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/9 "2002-05-11T16:58:44Z")
Ummm…yeah. Not sexy, but funny…sortof…in a very peculiar way. I still haven’t figured out if you were serious about the “make noises like a clown thing” or not. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/10 "2002-05-11T17:05:20Z")
Read this book, [Deviant Desires](http://www.deviantdesires.com/) and all will be answered. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/11 "2002-05-11T20:11:16Z")
When I saw the thread title and then saw the name of the poster I was a little worried. But I have a question. How does one make a noise like a clown? Unless you have a bike horn. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/12 "2002-05-11T21:19:36Z")
**Rysdad** and **Zebra** , it appears that the noise a clown makes is “Motherf\*\*\*\*r, strangers offer to buy me jewelry every day. Why the hell am I with you?” ---
**Author:** ![Shortie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Shortie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shortie)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/13 "2002-05-11T21:39:55Z")
FWIW, I think it’s kinda strange, but it cracks me up every time I read this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/14 "2002-05-12T03:15:56Z")
The answer to why she is still with you is that she is still consumed with guilt over the bloodbath following the botched attempted at shearing you. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/15 "2002-05-12T04:04:02Z")
Regarding the OP – “Of course it’s weird. So what?” 1.) You’re not unique. There are a lot of sites devoted to balloon fetishes and even clown fetishes. 2.) But there are a lot of sites devoted to even stranger fetishes. See the book **Freyr** recommends above. One ineresting thing about the Internet is that it has allowed people with weird interests to find each other and contribte to such sites. Before this they had to do it through the mail (see the book **High Weirdness by Mail**. I think most of the folks lsted in that book, if they’re still around, now have Internet sites.) ---
**Author:** ![GopherGod72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f0a364/32.png) [@GopherGod72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GopherGod72)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/16 "2002-05-12T06:23:06Z")
Anal Scurvy… Butt Sex with Balloons in the panties… clown noises? What type of noises to clowns make?? “HEY HEY! KIDS! Who wants to rub my ass till it pops against my prostate?!?!” ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/17 "2002-05-12T06:28:11Z")
Clowns??? I suppose you also like to make love to selections from “Pierrot Lunaire”, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/18 "2002-05-12T12:05:59Z")
An awful lot of perversions turn me on, and I can at least see the point of many others. This one leaves me with a big “Huh?” So I’d personally consider it weird. Why that should matter to you, I don’t know. But now that you know what clowns say, ya might want to listen. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/19 "2002-05-12T12:52:48Z")
I did not read the OP. Nor did I read any of the responses. It’s your fantasy. Keep it to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/20 "2002-05-12T13:03:48Z")
wow. It gives new meaning to going to Clown College. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434/21 "2002-05-12T13:41:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anal Scurvy \* > **"This is one of my greatest fantasies. Now make a noise like a clown."** I swear, I laughed so hard at this line I almost threw up. May I use it in my sig? And yes, you’re weird. But we wouldn’t want you any other way. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sex-fantasy-is-this-weird/108434.md?page=2)