# My shiny new made-up life! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215 "2003-09-08T03:35:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![thatDDperson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@thatDDperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatDDperson)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/41 "2003-09-09T05:17:13Z")
Toad, Toad, Toad… C’mon. I’d Drink the Koolaid for Da CrunchFrog. 'Course, life is boring right now. I’d prolly Drink the Koolaid for a Sock Monkey, just outta ennui. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/42 "2003-09-09T13:41:31Z")
I’m thinking you need a “job” that doesn’t sound that glamorous, but does account for a certain amount of danger and slackness at the same time. Case in point: years ago, in my university days, me and my suite mates went to some big campus shindig and ran into a guy who told us he was…_da da daaaaa_… an underwater welder. He said the hazard duty required the government to give him 2 weeks off with pay for every 2 weeks he worked, so he used those weeks to travel around the country and party. Or so he said. Any mundane scars you have, like claw marks from playing with your cat, now become occupational hazards, like from when the CO[sub]2[/sub] torch got disconnected when the rigging you were working on toppled over because of the turbulence from Hurricane Leonard (which may or may not actually have existed, but your would-be admirers probably won’t know, just like they probably won’t know if there’s such a thing as a CO[sub]2[/sub] torch). In retrieving the torch, the shards from the break slashed open your scuba suit and gouged your arm. Good thing you were able to break water from 1000 foot depth in time! The doctors told you the long scratches you have now are the best they’ll heal. _Oooooohhhh!_ So try being a… _da da daaaa_… underwater welder. When your audience gives admiring gasps, just shrug and look modest, like you’re just serving your country. Your current projects are confidential, so you can’t discuss them, but you can certainly BS some sort of job you did to get that chipped tooth, which you actually got from not brushing enough. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/43 "2003-09-09T18:06:05Z")
How about you work the help desk at the shampoo company? [Ellen Degeneres] ‘It’s about the size of a quarter, in the palm of your hand. Nope, can’t be two dimes and a nickle.’ [/Ellen Degeneres] ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/44 "2003-09-09T20:21:29Z")
If you’re gonna go with cult leader can I be Vito “Noodles” Calabone, the guy youse owe about 50 large to? And you’re over due this week you little F\*%K! Just think of the story line; it gives you quite a motive to keep fleecing the flock and recruit new members, you have to hide the fact that you owe a shady character money (why you borrowed it in the first place is a whole other story), and you can have whacky adventures sneaking out of the compund for our meetings. Think about it! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/45 "2003-09-09T21:59:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zoid \* > \*_And you’re over due this week you little F_%K! \*\* UNBELIEVER! My followers, unite and purge the Earth of those who seek to repress our quest for everlasting peace! Start with **zoid**! ---
**Author:** ![store-clerk-slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@store-clerk-slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/store-clerk-slacker)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/46 "2003-09-09T22:08:48Z")
_shaking head_ Now I know what you are **really** doing…pfft…and you get paid to sit here and post…HAHA Well now that you have your cult name and decided on your title…where is this cult located??? You need a cool compound name…and location. Every cult leader knows this. And btw…don’t serve the GREEN koolaid…everyone knows that trick…try something different like chocolate milk or better yet…ice cream sundaes…everyone loves ice cream and won’t be the wiser. ---
**Author:** ![store-clerk-slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@store-clerk-slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/store-clerk-slacker)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/47 "2003-09-09T22:08:48Z")
_shaking head_ Now I know what you are **really** doing…pfft…and you get paid to sit here and post…HAHA Well now that you have your cult name and decided on your title…where is this cult located??? You need a cool compound name…and location. Every cult leader knows this. And btw…don’t serve the GREEN koolaid…everyone knows that trick…try something different like chocolate milk or better yet…ice cream sundaes…everyone loves ice cream and won’t be the wiser. ---
**Author:** ![store-clerk-slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@store-clerk-slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/store-clerk-slacker)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/48 "2003-09-09T22:10:15Z")
ahhh…sorry for the dbl post …DAM CAT!!! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/49 "2003-09-09T22:18:33Z")
I would be interested in joining said cult-can I bring my Jedi boots and my _Titanic_ kimono? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/50 "2003-09-09T22:27:33Z")
**store-clerk** , since you’re a newbie and may not know, even if it looks like the post didn’t go through after hitting “Submit” it likely did. Refresh the thread after the timeout or whatever and see if your post is there before re-posting is a good rule of thumb. And how do you know what I’m doing? I could have called in sick today and posting from home. 😛 **Guinny** - There will be a bonfire every Tuesday night in which we will burn all things _Titanic_. So find a different kimono, or walk around naked except for your Jedi boots. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![store-clerk-slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@store-clerk-slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/store-clerk-slacker)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/51 "2003-09-09T22:41:00Z")
\*\*Crunchy[/] the cat was blockiny my view at the same time that I was clicking **submit** and I couldn’t tell that I had clicked it twice…hence the double post. It was **when** I refreshed that I noticed it was a double post…but thank you for the helpful hints!!! LOL I’m a newbie here…but not to message boards ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/52 "2003-09-09T22:50:47Z")
Well, as long as I get a beaded kimono with floor-length sleeves, I’m happy. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/53 "2003-09-09T22:51:10Z")
The Community of Ultimate Life Teachings is dedicated to the ideas of our beloved leader, Imthefroggodribbit. Imthefroggodribbit, through years of study and self-sacrifice, has had reavealed to him the Teachings of the Universe, and he walks in the glory of these Ultimate Life Teachings, beyond the petty frustrations and confusions of the mundane world. He is willing to share with you these Teachings, because All are Part of the Universe, and the Universe wants All to be joined in the Peace and Comfort of Knowledge. We form a Community to better explore the Peace and Comfort of the Knowledge offered by Imthefroggodribbit, and to express our committment to the Coming of the Revelation About All Things–the Ultimate Life Teaching promised to us by our beloved leader and First Teacher, Imthefroggodribbit, teaching which will insure world peace, feed all the hungry, make clean the environment and eliminate bad hair days forever. Are you sad? Lonely? Confused? Do you find making up your own mind to be too much trouble? Financially solvent? Then come and join us, and Open your Mind to the Ultimate Life Teachings of Imthefroggodribbit. Let him think for you. Can I have the job as Public Relations Director? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215/54 "2003-09-10T00:42:10Z")
Ok, so **Guin** can be our Sister in Charge of Wardrobe **Kallessa** just got her(him?)self the Public Relations job. **Evilbeth** will be our Sister in Charge of Security (she has a lot of pent up anger to vent, while **bobkitty’s** position is still under consideration. For those of you in the C.U.L.T. officially now, you will need to send me all your worldly possessions and/or nude pics. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shiny-new-made-up-life/200215.md?page=2)