# My shoes are a tramp! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2005, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903 "2005-12-16T13:44:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/1 "2005-12-16T13:44:41Z")
I just came across this bit of inspired illiteracy on eBay, and had to share: > [@A Seller](#): > > **Women reebok shoes size 10 whore once** - I whore these shoes once they look brand new. they are very comfortable. There color is black white and a carmel gum colored bottem. They are made of leather and sweid. there regular retail is $65.00 I can’t formulate a witty comment for this… although I wonder what color that city in California is… There are an awful lot of items sold on eBay whose color is FUSCHIA (fus-chee-uh). And clothing and shoes made of that other mystery fabric, swade. Shoes have heals, don’t you know. And some people seem to think there are brands of shoes called “Reebox” and “Sketchers.” They have pictures of these things; they must have been able to look at them to notice the “k” on one, and the lack of “t” in the other. It’s getting so I sort of applaud eBay pages where there aren’t any spelling errors. Then again, it isn’t much worse that the display of cereal I saw at the grocery store, with the handwritten sign, “Capten Cronch.” : sigh : ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/2 "2005-12-16T13:48:35Z")
Rampant illiteracy makes me want to poke my eyes out with sharp flaming sticks. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/3 "2005-12-16T13:50:55Z")
AHAHAHAHA. Capten Cronch. Excellent. I will now proceed to market a cheap imitation cereal under that name. Coming back from France last year a friend declared to Customs that she had dried cuttlefish snacks in her luggage. The desklady filled out and signed the form which she put in her bag without further thought until she had to hand it to the _next_ officer, who raised an eyebrow and said “May I ask what that is?” On the form: DRIED CUDDLE FISH. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/4 "2005-12-16T14:03:17Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Rampant illiteracy makes me want to poke my eyes out with sharp flaming sticks. I was visiting a friend in a tiny town(?) in the wilderness (for those interested, it’s Lilliwaup WA, named for the madam of the house of ill repute for loggers and fishermen in times past… She was, of course, Lilli, the Waup according to local legend, I digress) We went into the little general store and in the center aisle was a bin of stuff with a sign saying “Hafe off all Crissmus onerments.” I gently mentioned to the young woman working there that Christmas was spelled wrong. She said “It is?” peered at the sign, then said “Oh, my boss wrote that, he left out the H, I’ll tell him so he can fix it.” :eek: I believe there may be fewer last names than approprate to the number of families there. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/5 "2005-12-16T14:22:39Z")
A related tale: the supermarket I used to live very close to had a sign out that they were hiring a new sign writer. I was unemployed at the time, and applied for the job. I had noticed quite a few handwritten signs of the “Capten Cronch” variety. I went to apply for the job, and told the hiring manager that I thought I’d be good at it because I have very neat handwriting, and I’m good at spelling. He flat-out told me he didn’t care about the spelling, he was just looking for speed. Way to convey a professional image. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/6 "2005-12-16T14:30:02Z")
I whore these shoes one time and was arrested for solicitation: [http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/9979157/c/314.html](http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/9979157/c/314.html) ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/7 "2005-12-16T14:50:13Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I whore these shoes one time and was arrested for solicitation: [http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/9979157/c/314.html](http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/9979157/c/314.html) Copper shoes? Did you at least get time off for good conduct? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/8 "2005-12-16T15:27:50Z")
Snort! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/9 "2005-12-16T17:57:56Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Snort! I’ll see your snort & raise you a groan. Cute shoes, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/10 "2005-12-16T19:04:42Z")
They ARE cute. But they scream slut. Hmmm…what does that say about me? ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/11 "2005-12-17T02:22:35Z")
Sweid shoes? That’s just as bad as what I find in the antique phones. Instead of Bakelite, people will put in bakerlight or bake light. And that round thing with all the holes that you spin around to make a call? To far too many people, that’s a dialer. What makes it difficult is that eBay’s search is stupid. It will not give results where the search term is part of a word. S, I have to search for (dial,dialer,dialler,dail) - that, by the way, is how to enter an “or” search on eBay. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/12 "2005-12-17T03:03:17Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > But they scream slut. That’s just dandy, as long as passers-by _don’t_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/13 "2005-12-17T04:35:38Z")
I was going to show that eBay page to my wife, but the title and description have been changed to remove the ‘h’ from ‘wore.’ All the other errors remain, though. On a hunch, I looked at the seller’s other items. The descriptions are a riot! No more whores, sad to say. You know, hours later, I thought “hey, I should have called my thread **My shoes are streetwalkers!** ” Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/14 "2005-12-17T05:12:18Z")
Last year I found a sign that advertised a “dinning table” and a “futton.” Both were made of “clear wood,” and the futton came with an “extra new cober.” ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/15 "2005-12-17T05:23:05Z")
It was probably a typo rather than a misspelling (I hope), but I saw an auction for a “Men’s Large Shit”. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-shoes-are-a-tramp/335903/16 "2005-12-17T06:04:34Z")
> [@Batsinma Belfry](#): > > It was probably a typo rather than a misspelling (I hope), but I saw an auction for a “Men’s Large Shit”. Heh-heh. No photo, I presume.