# my sister finally assaulted me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 7, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366 "2013-01-07T17:26:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/21 "2013-01-09T22:22:59Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > So let me get this straight: > > You, your son, your sister and her partner (and dog) are ALL living in your mother’s house? > > Your mother is at her wits end trying to cope with the constant dramas? > > You earn 40k per year and you can’t afford to live somewhere else? > > Puh-_leeze_…gimme a break! Move the fuck out, ALL of you. You are all blood-sucking leeches living off the goodwill and mental health of your mum. > > Stop playing the victim-card here: you are responsible for keeping this melodrama happening. Your sister might be a psycho (maybe) but you are just as mental for prolonging it. The family dynamics here sound way-off, but to be perfectly honest, it also sounds like you are getting into the martyr groove by whingeing about Teh Evil Sister (whilst forgetting about your own selfishness). > > Move out. Get gone. Leave your mum alone, > > ALL OF YOU. Geez :rolleyes: This looks pretty good to me. BTW, if you make 40K a year, are you paying rent? If not, you should be a zillionaire by now. Where’s the money go??? ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/22 "2013-01-09T22:34:34Z")
WTF. One more time: **WTF.** You are an adult with a job. MOVE OUT. Do this, and the drama ends. You will then be in control of your home life. Move into a shitty apartment. $40K is more than enough to live on your own in a low end apartment. If you are unhappy with your world, change it. You have the paycheck that will enable this, unlike many people today. Lastly, WTF. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/23 "2013-01-09T22:50:42Z")
Might I ask which country you’re from, **sahirrnee**? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/24 "2013-01-09T22:59:38Z")
I’m surprised the mother isn’t the one doing all the biting and spitting. I’m betting her and the dog are in cahoots. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/25 "2013-01-09T23:50:09Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > You are an adult with a job. MOVE OUT. Do this, and the drama ends. You will then be in control of your home life. I’ll second this, from recent experience. You may think it’s impossible to live on your own, but trust me, it’s possible. Moving to another place will be expensive and annoying, but the sudden peace and quiet will make it all worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/26 "2013-01-11T03:17:41Z")
Thank you all. I’m trying to talk about anything but this right now my BP went up to 206/118. It’s very ugly here. I’ve spent the last few days looking and am waiting for some info on one place. My friend in Roanoke is looking for a place for me, the homeless one that I helped get to his parent’s house. Of course he’d love for me to be there so he can move out of their house and into mine. My mother is having a fit and I said too bad. She wants me to wait until my son graduates, I’d like to wait until he graduates. So now she and I are arguing. She wants me to give her custody (he will be 18 in May), she tells me I can’t take him with me (WTF???), she thinks it’s not fair to move him in his senior year, well DUH! No it’s not but I didn’t create the situation and when I go he is going with me. Whether I am being selfish, stubborn or whatever, my son is not staying there without me and I doubt if he wants to. So I have things to do, and more decisions to make. Clients are wanting to book me and I don’t even know what to tell them. I may not be here. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/27 "2013-01-11T03:32:58Z")
Calling the _POLICE_ in your domestic spat because your sibling spit and cursed at you is being a world class, drama queen jackass. You are as responsible for dialing this thing to 11 as your sister, possibly more so. Your reaction to your idiot sister is absurdly out of proportion, yet you seem to feel supremely entitled and justified to do this kind of shit. Most of your problems in this scenario are staring you in the face when you look in the mirror. God I pity your poor mother. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/28 "2013-01-11T13:04:24Z")
How do you know your BP? Do you take medication for hypertension? Have you seen a Dr since this happened? If it’s accurate, you should be in a hospital before you have a stroke. If a Dr or nurse took it, how are you _not_ in a hospital? How is stroking out, or having an aneurism, going to help your situation? You’re worried about your kid moving in his senior year, but don’t mind leaving him parentless when you have a stroke, that leaves you seriously impaired or dead? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/29 "2013-01-11T14:23:41Z")
What **elbows** said. A BP that high usually calls for an immediate ER visit, to the best of my understanding. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/30 "2013-01-11T14:33:01Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Puh-_leeze_…gimme a break! Move the fuck out, ALL of you. You are all blood-sucking leeches living off the goodwill and mental health of your mum. > [@monstro](#): > > I’m surprised the mother isn’t the one doing all the biting and spitting. I’m betting her and the dog are in cahoots. This advice can be given without the insults and vitriol. Please dial it back, people. ---
**Author:** ![Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fool_in_the_Rain)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/31 "2013-01-11T14:34:15Z")
I’m with everyone else here. Start looking for a place of your own, get out. Pick up a paper, or look online, but find a place to move and get out. Take care of your son in a safer and saner place. Good Luck. And I sincerely hope **BubbaDog** isn’t right… ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/32 "2013-01-11T16:05:17Z")
The OP doesn’t _ **really** _ want to move out of the house. I have a friend like this. She’s in a dysfunctional love/hate relationship with her mother. It’s pretty obvious she thrives on the drama. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/33 "2013-01-11T16:13:35Z")
Yeah, I think you’re right. People in codependent relationships just can’t recognize that they are an equal and willing partner, in the dysfunction dance, and the blame. And I understand that people so trapped are wearing blinders so they just can’t see it. But once someone points it out, how do you not see it then? It’s a special kind of delusion unto itself it seems. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/34 "2013-01-11T21:01:47Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > You, your son, your sister and her partner (and dog) are ALL living in your mother’s house? She also mentioned something about a husband in this thread. Where is he in all of this? Is he not working that he can’t contribute to an alternate place to live? > [@saje](#): > > At this point it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, you are not doing your kid, your dog, your mother or yourself any good by staying. Your job as a mother and a pet owner is to protect them from harm, and you can’t do that living there. > > Get out, now. It’s not her dog, it’s the sister’s. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/35 "2013-01-11T21:20:48Z")
The OP has a dog as well. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/36 "2013-01-11T21:24:05Z")
Oh yeah, that’s right, now I remember her mentioning it in one of the other threads. Thanks!! (Still would like to know about the husband though.) ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/37 "2013-01-11T21:25:52Z")
Boy I really messed that up. It’s the sister’s husband. I’ll leave now so I don’t get anything more wrong. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/38 "2013-01-11T22:25:11Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > She wants me to give her custody (he will be 18 in May), she tells me I can’t take him with me (WTF???), she thinks it’s not fair to move him in his senior year, well DUH! No it’s not but I didn’t create the situation and when I go he is going with me. You’re going to take your son out of school for the last 5 months of his senior year? How long has he been in this school? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/39 "2013-01-13T05:53:41Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > This advice can be given without the insults and vitriol. Please dial it back, people. Insults and vitriol? What I posted was as tame as could be mustered under the MPSIMS rules. Had I posted what I _actually_ wanted to say…well, it seems that others have done my job for me! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![anontanijat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@anontanijat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anontanijat)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366/40 "2013-01-13T15:18:02Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > Thank you all. > I’m trying to talk about anything but this right now > my BP went up to 206/118. > > It’s very ugly here. > > I’ve spent the last few days looking and am waiting for some info on one place. > > My friend in Roanoke is looking for a place for me, the homeless one that I helped get to his parent’s house. Of course he’d love for me to be there so he can move out of their house and into mine. > > My mother is having a fit and I said too bad. > She wants me to wait until my son graduates, I’d like to wait until he graduates. > So now she and I are arguing. > She wants me to give her custody (he will be 18 in May), she tells me I can’t take him with me (WTF???), she thinks it’s not fair to move him in his senior year, well DUH! No it’s not but I didn’t create the situation and when I go he is going with me. > Whether I am being selfish, stubborn or whatever, my son is not staying there without me and I doubt if he wants to. > > So I have things to do, and more decisions to make. Clients are wanting to book me and I don’t even know what to tell them. I may not be here. If your bp is that high you should be in a hospital instead of posting to a message board. Seriously. I was hospitalized two years ago with a bp of 191/120 (due to severe postpartum preeclampsia). Those numbers indicate a hypertensive crisis. Regardless of what your mother says or wants if the stress of living with her is causing you severe health problems you need to move out NOW. It’s not worth having a stroke or dying over. If you’re making 40k a year I don’t see how you couldn’t afford a one bedroom or studio apartment. Sure, you’d rather have more cash in your pocket but if your living situation is really affecting your health I’d like to think that you’d choose quality of mental/physical health over money. Obviously, there’s more to your story than not being able to afford your own place (codependancy issues?), and a message board isn’t going to help you when you don’t seem to be able to help yourself by doing the obvious thing, which is to MOVE OUT. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-finally-assaulted-me/646366.md?page=3)