# My sister was killed in a car accident **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2009, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696 "2009-09-19T05:05:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/21 "2009-09-19T12:52:23Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/22 "2009-09-19T12:54:44Z")
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. She sounds very awesome, your love for her is clear in your tender words. I lost an older brother not long ago, so I know how it aches, you will be in my thoughts in the coming days. I also would like to hear a little more about this remarkable person, if you’re feeling up to it. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/23 "2009-09-19T13:09:59Z")
Sorry to hear about this. Tell us more about her, if you feel so inclined. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/24 "2009-09-19T13:15:33Z")
I am so sorry. There really isn’t much more I can say. It’s a tragedy no one should ever have to go thru. My sincere sympathy to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/25 "2009-09-19T13:39:53Z")
> [@](#): > > If I can offer any advice at all (which you didn’t ask for, and which is worth exactly what you’ve paid me for,) celebrate the lovely young woman that you had the privilege of knowing for 28 years, appreciate the improvements she was working hard to make in her life, and forgive yourself for not anticipating or preventing your sister’s final goodbye. While you’re at it, forgive her, please, for the circumstances under which she left you and your family. That’s a really hard step, but an essential one. You don’t know and never will know exactly what led her to her final unwise decision. But if you’ve known and trusted her for the better part of three decades, you probably know that she made a single unwise decision in extremis. She very likely didn’t set out to hurt herself or anyone else, including your family. It’s far more likely that she just had a moment of poor judgment for which she paid dearly… > > None of this is easy, but all is essential. Despite her troubles, I’m sure you know that your sister loved you. Live your life knowing how fortunate you were to have known such a wonderful person, not feeling guilty because you were only able to share 28 years with her. This post said what I wanted to express much more nicely than I could have. I am very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/26 "2009-09-19T13:51:17Z")
I am so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/27 "2009-09-19T13:57:30Z")
I am sorry to hear of your loss. May whatever gods there be, be with you and your family during this difficult time. Sending supporting thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/28 "2009-09-19T14:05:23Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/29 "2009-09-19T14:21:13Z")
☹ I’m so sorry for your loss. Such a tragedy at such a young age. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/30 "2009-09-19T14:38:14Z")
I’m sorry mate,this is so hard for you,you are not alone you are in all of our thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/31 "2009-09-19T14:44:02Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/32 "2009-09-19T15:55:33Z")
Wow, I honestly wasn’t expecting this many responses, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the condolences, truly. Dopers are awesome. **Lacunae Matata** , that “phantom limb pain” description is right on the money… I feel this more in my stomach than in my heart, like a part of me has been ripped away. Thanks also for the kind and wise advice. A few of you asked to hear more about her. Well… where to start… She was beautiful and feisty, a dangerous combination for boys to handle. She drew and painted and adored children and animals. She wavered between being a nanny and wanting to be a vet. She suffered from low self-esteem though, which means her choice in friends and boyfriends wasn’t always the best, and pushed her to drink more than she should have. But as much as we argued, I always admired her conviction, her ability to choose a side and take a stand for what she believed in, and her perseverance through life’s setbacks. The days after the funeral have been spent struggling to piece together her final hours. Phone records indicate she was having a 3-hour texting conversation with someone right up until the accident, so we can only assume she was texting while driving. We’re still waiting for the toxicology reports to see if alcohol played any part at all. The trooper on the scene claims that he was trying to pull her over for speeding and she fled off, leading us to believe she panicked because she didn’t have a license or insurance. I’d like to think she _was_ drinking, as I don’t think she would have made that decision sober. 6 miles at high speeds down the wrong side of the Turnpike, it was only a matter of time before that would come to an end. She clipped a car and tore off the sideview mirror, then hit a pickup truck that was raised an inch head-on, minimizing damage to his vehicle. Her car was totaled. The car she clipped happened to belong to an EMT, so he got out and immediately ran to her first. She was unresponsive so he helped the 20-year-old out of his pickup truck. We are so unbelievably thankful he ended up leaving the hospital after three hours with only minor injuries. She was pronounced dead at the scene. We’re still trying to get a hold of the person she was texting during this, and we’ve also been trying to deal with the liability issue. Since she didn’t have insurance, what if this guy sues my father, who gave her the car? We shouldn’t have to be worrying about this kind of thing, but here we are. In the meantime, I’m currently out of work which leaves me plenty of time to sit at home and think about it, unfortunately. But writing this has helped, as well as all of your kind words. Thanks again. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/33 "2009-09-19T18:16:13Z")
My heart is breaking for you. She sounds like she was an amazing lady. You may never completely know what happened that night, or all the circumstances surrounding the accident: but it is obvious that you love her deeply. If it’s that obvious to a complete stranger, I’m sure it was to her as well. And I’d be willing to bet she loved you just as much. All I can do is pray and send good, healing thoughts your way. We’re here for you. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/34 "2009-09-19T21:15:29Z")
Having lost my only sister way too young I can feel your pain. I have a knot in my throat reading your posts. Keep talking about her and ((((((DooWahDiddy))))). ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/35 "2009-09-19T21:26:10Z")
I’m so very, very sorry **DooWahDiddy**. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/36 "2009-09-19T21:53:06Z")
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my sister over 20 years ago, and I still miss her. Family is irreplaceable. Hold on to your memories of her. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/37 "2009-09-19T22:22:24Z")
Sorry, DooWahDiddy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/38 "2009-09-19T23:26:37Z")
Oh, DooWahDiddy. I’m so sorry for you and your family. Terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/39 "2009-09-20T00:38:29Z")
I am so sorry. Any loss is hard, but the circumstances here are heart-breaking. I wish you and your family peace. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696/40 "2009-09-20T00:42:29Z")
I just saw this. I am so sorry for your loss. Your “Doper” family is here, but if I can help in any other way, shoot me a mail or let us all know. Thinking of you this night, **DooWahDiddy**! Bill [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-was-killed-in-a-car-accident/510696.md?page=3)