# My so-called friend made a Super Bowl party event on facebook but didn't invite me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103 "2011-02-04T01:52:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/81 "2011-02-04T17:52:09Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > I keep ignoring the answers because I’m not getting the answers I want to hear. So I guess this means any observations that your issues are much deeper than friendships and Superbowl parties, and that you should seriously seek out a school counselor will be ignored. That said, my extended hand to you … You should know by now that circle arguments don’t work well around here. You sought out the collective wisdoms of the Doper community, yet you choose not to to even address their views of the personal concerns you raise to all of us. Sure, snarkiness is a predominant feature in this place and often times a thick skin is a requirement. However, as just an ordinary Doper who has been here a bit longer than you it’s my view the Doper community as a whole, as well as the Doper individuals, are a caring and concerned, helpful bunch. Biting the helpful hands that have been extended to you – **when you asked for our help** – is never a good thing, be it in your daily life or virtually here. Those Doper hands will never be withdrawn because you’ve bitten a few already, because that’s who we are. But we are also individuals with our own feelings, our own issues (bright and sunny as well as those other places). As I said, those hands will never be withdrawn, but next time, not so many may be extended. You are at a difficult age. Lots of us here; been there, did live through that. The advice being offered is genuine, sincere and sound. We’ve built the path for you and covered it with wood chips to make it a bit easier for you, as you asked. No charge. No strings. Every journey you take, be it a walk to the store, a thousand mile walk, or life itself, all begin with a single step. Only you can do that. Only you can decide that. A cliche perhaps, but very sound advice: Get busy living, or get busy dying. Your call. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/82 "2011-02-04T17:54:56Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > If I show up to the party uninvited, they wouldn’t just tell me to leave, even if they wanted me to leave, for they wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings. True, but it will likely result in you never being invited over again. If you don’t go and were invited, they’ll apologize and try to make sure they don’t overlook you again. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/83 "2011-02-04T18:09:34Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > This. > > I about had a heart attack when I read the OP, as yesterday I set up a Facebook Event for a Superbowl party and invited about 40 friends. :smack: **PSXer** ’s is a different one, apparently, but still… > > Look, you’ve obviously got issues, **PSXer** , but you’ve got to learn how to handle stuff like this subtly and one on one, not publicly. It’s entirely possible that you’re NOT invited and shouldn’t show up. Then again, your Friend may be like me and not used to how Facebook works. > > I’m having a casual gathering. I don’t have a strict guest list. But I wanted to be sure that the Event was noticed by at least a specific group of people, and so I “invited” them by clicking on their usernames in my list. The Event is public, however, as is the party. I certainly didn’t mean to exclude anyone I didn’t Invite, but once it was done, I now see that while everyone who is my Friend can see the Event, they can also see that they weren’t specifically Invited. That sucks. I should have just left it Open and not sent Invites at all, but I didn’t know that when I did it. > > I did post this as my Status this morning to try an salvage the situation: > > …but I’m kind of sick that I may have inadvertently hurt anyone’s feelings. > I’m not sure how you can fix this without becoming more socially awkward at this point. You shouldn’t have called him out in public (Facebook IS public), you should have asked him privately, and \*\*Barkis is Willin’\*\*s method would have been perfect. I think now you should drop it and chalk it up as a lesson in socialization. I think you’re okay with your party and won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. I’m 26 and have been using facebook as long as it has been around, and the same goes with most of my friends. We all do casual party invitations the same way you did- the host will invite people, make the party public, and post something like “everyone welcome, bring your friends” or whatever. That way people can invite other friends through facebook, or just tell them about it in person, or other people can see the party and just RSVP that they are coming. In the vast majority of cases, it’s no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/84 "2011-02-04T18:21:12Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > I think you’re okay with your party and won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. I’m 26 and have been using facebook as long as it has been around, and the same goes with most of my friends. We all do casual party invitations the same way you did- the host will invite people, make the party public, and post something like “everyone welcome, bring your friends” or whatever. That way people can invite other friends through facebook, or just tell them about it in person, or other people can see the party and just RSVP that they are coming. In the vast majority of cases, it’s no big deal. Thanks, **Sam Lowry**. I never thought I’d feel challenged by new technologies before I hit 40, but it’s beginning already! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/85 "2011-02-04T18:21:25Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > I keep ignoring the answers because I’m not getting the answers I want to hear. > > > [@Marley23](#): > > > > Then you shouldn’t bother asking. It’s obnoxious to ask people for advice and consideration when you don’t intend to listen to them in the first place. It wastes their time. This is why you’re getting more and more sarcasm and joke answers in these threads. 😕 Come on, guys. Surely this must make it very clear that the OP is yanking your chains here. I admire his his deft touch on the fishing line, but why the hell is everyone still rising to the bait after an admission like this? And a moderator, no less. Right now, you should be issuing a warning, not continuing to play along with his game. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/86 "2011-02-04T18:36:05Z")
Oh, don’t spoil it, **mhendo**. He’s by far the most entertaining troll we’ve got. All of his threads are hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/87 "2011-02-04T18:50:35Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > 😕 > > Come on, guys. Surely this must make it very clear that the OP is yanking your chains here. I admire his his deft touch on the fishing line, but why the hell is everyone still rising to the bait after an admission like this? And a moderator, no less. Right now, you should be issuing a warning, not continuing to play along with his game. Perhaps. Perhaps he is the social gamer extraordinaire, he has us all played for the collective fool. If so, then I will be happy to have learned a little something from the encounter. Unfortunately, as I read the words, I hear a real voice in my head, one I’ve heard before. It is not a surprising voice today. When I was young I thought older people were granted the wisdom that comes from experience, the years added to their knowledge and their counsel was worthy of my attention. Now I am aware that is not the case, that many of the older folk are just worn out jaded young folks that made mistakes and didn’t learn. I’ve found a lot of people with power and wealth are not particularly better than anyone else, indeed they often have amazing character flaws that would spin your head right around when you recognize them. In short, if PSXer starts a thread that asks for advice, then decides to say he will only accept the advice he wants to hear, than my observations of the normality of humanity are confirmed and I will observe with moderate interest the failures that are bound to happen to someone who has been offered good advice and has chosen the comfort of ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/88 "2011-02-04T18:51:11Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > This is when eccentricitism has its benefits. > > Go to the TV room in the dorm. > > Set up a couple of bowls of chips, dip, and a small cooler of soda (all of which should cost under $10). > > Put up a couple of signs saying “I’m watching the Super Bowl in Room X. Everyone welcome to join me (and I’ve got food!)” > > Sit back and watch the game. Am I crazy (yes, probably), or is that a great idea? Joe ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/89 "2011-02-04T18:54:16Z")
Here’s another answer you don’t want to hear. You can go to this party uninvited and maybe, possibly, no one says anything to you there. So enjoy that party and I hope it’s the hill you wish to die on because it’s the one you will. You won’t get invited to another party and if you end up crashing a second one they WILL make a scene in removing you and embarrassing you in the process. Oh and in the meantime, all 40 of those people will hear about the loser who crashed the party “oh dude? Was it that same kid who posted on facebook begging for an invite?” Enjoy your party. Bring a bag to take extra snacks home. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/90 "2011-02-04T18:56:55Z")
yeah a lot of stuff I post on this board is a joke/trolling but this topic is sincere. This is another problem i have: that a lot of the stuff I say even irl is just a joke so I don’t have to have serious conversations. I don’t want to fix my problems I enjoy getting attention for it on the internet ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/91 "2011-02-04T19:08:15Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > yeah a lot of stuff I post on this board is a joke/trolling but this topic is sincere. This is another problem i have: that a lot of the stuff I say even irl is just a joke so I don’t have to have serious conversations. > > I don’t want to fix my problems I enjoy getting attention for it on the internet It’s called trolling and it’s against our rules. I’m in the middle of something, so I’ll decide later if I’m going to issue a warning on this – for now, I’ll just lock this thread. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103/92 "2011-02-05T00:53:38Z")
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt this time, **PSXer** , assume that the OP is legit, and let you off without a warning. This is mostly because I’m taking Monday off, so I’m looking at a three-day weekend and I’m in a really good mood. We do take trolling seriously around here, and now that you’ve admitted you do it, you have been given the last doubt you’re going to benefit from. From here on out, any time \*any \*mod even thinks you _might_ be trolling, you’re going to get a warning. I recommend that you take that possibility very seriously. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-so-called-friend-made-a-super-bowl-party-event-on-facebook-but-didnt-invite-me/570103.md?page=4)