# My Son is an Idiot... It is official **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2016, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198 "2016-04-04T20:56:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/21 "2016-04-05T00:53:48Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Would you like to hold the pretty Gila monster? It’s tame. Even if it bites you they have [medicinal saliva](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070709175815.htm). (And nonmedicinal toxic potentially deadly venom. I shouldn’t downplay the venom.) ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/22 "2016-04-05T01:01:05Z")
Xema: > [@](#): > > So … are they? Quite, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/23 "2016-04-05T01:23:16Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > And in his future medical career, he’ll be able to relate to any patients who do the same thing. Not that I necessarily recommend first-hand experience just to gain empathy … So are you saying that he shouldn’t put this on his resume? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/24 "2016-04-05T01:25:09Z")
Don’t worry, petting a porcupine is very low on the list of “stupid things you can do while drunk during spring break in mexico”. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/25 "2016-04-05T01:37:55Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Don’t worry, petting a porcupine is very low on the list of “stupid things you can do while drunk during spring break in mexico”. Oh I very well know… thirty some years ago it involved jumping off of a balcony onto a loose tile roof and falling into a glass table below. Thirty seven stitches were also involved. It wasn’t me, but Ron got sent home early. I of course had a vacation that would have made the pope look like a wild man… you can ask my mom… that is the version that she was told. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/26 "2016-04-05T01:49:40Z")
This was in a book of poems I had as a kid. No idea who wrote it, but it seems apropos. Rebecca Jane, a friend of mine Went out to pet a porcupine. She very shortly came back in, Disgusted with the porcupin. “One never, ever should,” said Jane, “Attempt to pet a porcupain!” ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/27 "2016-04-05T02:50:17Z")
A stupid incident, sure. But as others have said, it ain’t the worst. Not like drinking your puny weight in southern comfort, Jack and beer mixed together and ending up in Medford, NJ jail at age 17, no shirt, no shoes, and livid parents when picked up that evening. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/28 "2016-04-05T03:08:26Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > And in his future medical career, he’ll be able to relate to any patients who do the same thing. Not that I necessarily recommend first-hand experience just to gain empathy … > [@Spud](#): > > So are you saying that he shouldn’t put this on his resume? Nice story to pull out when reassuring young patients who have also done stupid stuff? Check. Good for a possible future memoir? Check. Bullet point on a CV? Probably not. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/29 "2016-04-05T03:30:08Z")
> [@Fretful\_Porpentine](#): > > This was in a book of poems I had as a kid. No idea who wrote it, but it seems apropos. > > Rebecca Jane, a friend of mine > Went out to pet a porcupine. > > She very shortly came back in, > Disgusted with the porcupin. > > “One never, ever should,” said Jane, > “Attempt to pet a porcupain!” “Pat”, not “pet” according to this. > **[For Laughing Out Loud](https://books.google.com/books?id=VdrkjfJZGg8C&pg=PA20&lpg=PA20&dq=%22Rebecca%2BJane,%2Ba%2Bfriend%2Bof%2Bmine%22&source=bl&ots=-K5yvtkqf-&sig=LsceYhbTH3OyXAXgGpEIMN9rQgo&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi_56zIxvbLAhVCQiYKHeZqBYkQ6AEIHTAA#v=onepage&q=%22Rebecca%20Jane%2C%20a%20friend%20of%20mine%22&f=false)** > > Illus. in full color. "These nonsense verses combine the domestic and thegross, deadpan and slapstick, with a lilting rhythm and satisfying rhyme. Thepoets are well-known contemporaries including Prelutsky, Silverstein, Kuskin, Lobel, Viorst, and... ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/30 "2016-04-05T03:39:49Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Don’t worry, petting a porcupine is very low on the list of “stupid things you can do while drunk during spring break in mexico”. It would have been very low on my list of “things to **think of doing** while drunk during spring break”. But those were other times. “Drunk, wounded and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/31 "2016-04-05T03:43:59Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > You _can_ [pet a porcupine.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5I5H7EeC8k) You can even whack a porcupine. > **[Whack Your Porcupine, and Other Drawings: Kliban, B.: 9780911104929: Amazon.com:...](https://www.amazon.com/Whack-Your-Porcupine-Other-Drawings/dp/0911104925)** > > Whack Your Porcupine, and Other Drawings \[Kliban, B.\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Whack Your Porcupine, and Other Drawings ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/32 "2016-04-05T07:44:54Z")
I can pet a [monkey-puzzle tree](http://benedante.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-monkey-puzzle-tree.html). How many of you can do that? (See link. Has pictures, including close-ups of a branch with leaves. The leaves are stiff and each leaf has a sharp thorn at its tip.) I have a friend with one of these in his front lawn, guarding the approach to his front door. Intruders fear to pass, and few return unscathed who try. But I stop to pet his monkey-puzzle tree every time I visit. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/33 "2016-04-05T09:27:00Z")
Vive l’stupide libre! What has society come to when a man can’t pet a porcupine? (Today happens to be the birthday of a frat brother who several decades ago slept with a raccoon – woke up in the middle of the night, petted it thinking it was his cat, went back to sleep, and woke up in the morning with it still cuddled up against him.) ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/34 "2016-04-05T10:32:22Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > A stupid incident, sure. But as others have said, it ain’t the worst. Not like drinking your puny weight in southern comfort, Jack and beer mixed together and ending up in Medford, NJ jail at age 17, no shirt, no shoes, and livid parents when picked up that evening. Or Mexican jail, which is where I thought this was going. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/35 "2016-04-05T12:55:02Z")
I thought the punchline to “how do porcupines make love?” was “very carefully”. I didn’t know it was “after way too much tequila”. Glad your son is OK. Putting this incident on his resume? No. Putting it on YouTube? Maybe. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/36 "2016-04-05T13:19:00Z")
Actually, the answer to that one is “after watersports”. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/37 "2016-04-05T18:45:25Z")
> [@Iamnotivan](#): > > very young son died having choked on his own vomit while unconscious An E-4 tanker over the age of majority. Methinks you have something against porcupines. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/38 "2016-04-05T19:25:19Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > “Pat”, not “pet” according to this. > > [For Laughing Out Loud: Poems to Tickle Your Funnybone - Google Books](https://books.google.com/books?id=VdrkjfJZGg8C&pg=PA20&lpg=PA20&dq=%22Rebecca+Jane,+a+friend+of+mine%22&source=bl&ots=-K5yvtkqf-&sig=LsceYhbTH3OyXAXgGpEIMN9rQgo&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi_56zIxvbLAhVCQiYKHeZqBYkQ6AEIHTAA#v=onepage&q=%22Rebecca%20Jane%2C%20a%20friend%20of%20mine%22&f=false) Ah well, it’s pretty hard to quote a poem you last ran across at the age of ten from memory 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/39 "2016-04-05T19:38:04Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > You can even whack a porcupine. > > [http://www.amazon.com/Whack-Your-Porcupine-Other-Drawings/dp/0911104925](http://www.amazon.com/Whack-Your-Porcupine-Other-Drawings/dp/0911104925) groin grin carnal sin pretty city grandma’s titty ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198/40 "2016-04-05T20:47:12Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Do porcupines carry rabies? Porcupines are rodents. They are very seldom infected with the rabies virus , and there are no recorded cases of rodent to human transmission. Also, getting poked with quills is not the same as getting bitten - the rabies virus is present in infected animals’ saliva. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-son-is-an-idiot-it-is-official/751198.md?page=3)