# My SO's ex-wife, our kids, the 4th of July, and my immaturity **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2009, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910 "2009-06-25T04:18:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/21 "2009-06-29T02:39:20Z")
Wow, what a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/22 "2009-06-29T03:19:06Z")
Yup, just trying to yank your chain. Good on you for trying to stay above the nastiness. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/23 "2009-06-29T04:48:31Z")
I think it might be useful to tell the kids that you effectively invited her, but she refused to come, if they come home again thinking you hate her. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/24 "2009-06-29T05:57:02Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > Update: Well, after my SO told her that we’d be happy that she would come with, she said “nevermind, I’m just going to take the kids myself that day”. Congrats! You called her bluff and she blinked. I am sure she thought you would throw a fit and refuse to invite her. That way, she could pretend to have hurt feelings. My guess is, because you did indeed play nice, she won’t try that stunt again. ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/25 "2009-06-30T16:23:18Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > You called her bluff and she blinked. _[snip]_ My guess is, because you did indeed play nice, she won’t try that stunt again. My take exactly. I’ve seen my friend’s ex-husband pull the exact same kind of crap and it’s amazing how quickly his plans/opinions change when his assholery doesn’t evoke the emotional shitstorm he’s so obviously trying to stir up. The high road isn’t easy (and may cause ulcers, migraines and teeth-grinding), but it’s best for the kids. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/26 "2009-06-30T16:59:31Z")
Yeah, but the kids ended up shafted out their waterpark trip. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/27 "2009-07-01T14:13:40Z")
Yeah, I’m sure they’ll never get over it. Because it’s not like they can’t go on some other day, with the OP and their dad. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/28 "2009-07-01T14:34:34Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Yeah, but the kids ended up shafted out their waterpark trip. This is true, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do the waterpark on a different day. Sure, fireworks only happen when they happen, but the waterpark is open all season long. Pick another day and make it up to the kids. Hell, make it even better with a camp-out and s’mores (who doesn’t love s’mores?) after the day at the waterpark. The kids will recognize that the two of you are interested in them and it’s an object lesson in making the best of a less than ideal situation. Hey, it doesn’t have to be \*all \*animosity and battles. What a first class bitch she is. You have my sympathies. Keep your chin up. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910/29 "2009-07-01T19:27:22Z")
A different day at the waterpark will probably even be more fun because it’s likely to be extremely crowded on the 4th. And lots of places have fireworks on the 3rd or 5th or even some other weekend. So the kids won’t miss out entirely. You did the right thing, and over time, they’ll realize you’re the good guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sos-ex-wife-our-kids-the-4th-of-july-and-my-immaturity/500910.md?page=1)