# My special invitation to you: Fuck your mother, then FUCK OFF
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [September 28, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222 "2001-09-28T00:28:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/1 "2001-09-28T00:28:50Z")
I am sick and tired of people who use the internet to blast out their opinions but are completely and utterly uninformed on the issues about which they gab.
Sure, you’ve got every right to be a stupid dumbfuck with your brainless cranium rammed 4 feet up your ass. In fact, people have died to protect that right, at least in the U.S… That’s dandy. But what bugs me is that you have, right here at your fingertips, and tool that could let you easily and readily read up on any topic you choose, from the history of the Taliban to the construction of the WTC to the disposition of previous terrorism episodes to the aims of peace organizations to the features of the proposed security measures to the likelihood of candles being seen by a satellite to the price of tea in fucking china. You can read the issues from both sides. You can get facts. You can find out what the other side is saying–or if there are, in fact, more than two sides to the issue.
Has it ever, **ever** occured to you to find about these things before starting to hammer away at your keyboard like a demented woodpecker in your rush to tell all the rest of us How It Is?
This is partly aimed at some Dopers, I’ll admit, but it also goes for a lot of the other flaming horseshit I’ve gotten via email or found on the net.
I’ll say it again: **The Internet is not just your bullhorn, jackass.** You might consider using it to inform yourself. Yes, generally your rectum is an exit ramp only, so it’s natural that you’d only want to pull ideas _out_ of that orifice. But try using your head for a change–it’s also, amazingly designed to _take in_ information.
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### Author:  [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/2 "2001-09-28T00:37:20Z")
At the risk of pissing off the Moderators and Administrators of this board:
Cranky, do you mind if I make this post my sig file?
-Myron
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### Author:  [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/3 "2001-09-28T00:37:37Z")
She really has a way with a phrase, doesn’t she?
Signed, Hoping Like Hell She’s Not Talking About Me!
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### Author:  [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/4 "2001-09-28T00:39:50Z")
Hey Cranky…that reminds me…I have this really cool JPEG someone sent me of a dude on top of the WTC…with the hijacked jet in the background about to hit the to…&(^(^%(_(_
What?
OW…stop hitting me dammit… 😛
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### Author:  [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/5 "2001-09-28T00:41:43Z")
**Cranky** does turn a nice phrase, doesn’t she? The nice thing is that she is also usually right on the money. good vent, **C**.
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/6 "2001-09-28T00:58:39Z")
I’d just like to say that I have _met_ the woman who said this:
> [@](#):
>
> Yes, generally your rectum is an exit ramp only, so it’s natural that you’d only want to pull ideas out of that orifice.
This is beautiful. And I know **Cranky.** I’ve had lunch with her.
I’ve always admired her way with words, but damn…next time I see her, I think I’m going to have be on my knees, kissing the fingers that typed that phrase.
I’m so unworthy.
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### Author:  [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/7 "2001-09-28T01:04:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I think I’m going to have be on my knees, kissing the fingers that typed that phrase.
You call that admiration? I sneer at your admiration.
I would crawl on my hands and knees through broken glass to kiss the ass of the last person who shook hands with the fingers that typed that phrase.
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/8 "2001-09-28T01:20:49Z")
Well I’d…I’d…I’d become a telemarketer if she asked me to!
Beat _that!_
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### Author:  [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/9 "2001-09-28T01:40:54Z")
I think that one trumps them all, Persephone.
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### Author:  [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/10 "2001-09-28T02:24:30Z")
Shit Cranky, if I was a man I would ask you to have my children.
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### Author:  [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/11 "2001-09-28T03:17:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Well I’d…I’d…I’d become a telemarketer if she asked me to!
OK, you win.
[sup]copycat[/sup]
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/12 "2001-09-28T03:29:17Z")
Not to detract from the **Cranky** love-fest here, but one more post like that, **LifeOnWry,** and I’m going to need a picture of you. Something to hang on the shrine that I have set up in my basement, where perform daily rituals in honor of Dopers I Adore. 😃
[sub]okay, y’all can go back to worshipping Cranky now.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/13 "2001-09-28T03:30:08Z")
Hey! I pull some of my best ideas out of my rectum! Taking the time for research is taking time I don’t have–I have to type fast while Autocad is plotting because I have to actually get some WORK done, too. If I need to know something I’m sure somebody here will tell me. Repeatedly. In no uncertain terms.
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/14 "2001-09-28T03:31:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Persephone \*
> **one more post like that, LifeOnWry, and I’m going to need a picture of you.**
[Here you go.](http://members.aol.com/lifeonwry/the_author.html)
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### Author:  [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/15 "2001-09-28T04:21:47Z")
> [@](#):
>
> generally your rectum is an exit ramp only
depends on to whose rectum you refer. [insert astonished face emoticon here]
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### Author:  [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/16 "2001-09-28T05:32:22Z")
I was going to start something about how right Nostradamus was, and that copper bracelets cure cancer, syphilis and acne, but I guess it’ll keep.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/17 "2001-09-28T20:09:48Z")
personally, i don’t like to burden myself with “facts” and i find “accuracy” is counterproductive the point i am trying to make. goddammit, if its hard, it ain’t worth doin’!
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/18 "2001-09-28T20:29:57Z")
Fuck the mothers, too? geez. I thought once we joined that club we were 'posed to be _nice_ to each other. ::shivers::
Ok, back on target. I agree w/OP (Big surprise, eh?) but have to admit I choked on laughter when I read one comment in GD something like “well, it’s only in GQ that we have to have facts and cites, here we just argue our opinions”.
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### Author:  [@Photog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Photog)
#### Post date: [September 28, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/19 "2001-09-28T20:46:02Z")
Oh…you’re talking about me aren’t you Cranky. I knew I should have picked a different sig.
[hangs head in shame and slowly exits the room]
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### Author:  [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-special-invitation-to-you-fuck-your-mother-then-fuck-off/84222/20 "2001-09-29T01:16:04Z")
Don’t you all realize that the reason so many talk out of their rectum is because it is so much closer to their feet?
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