# My step-nephew is dead **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633 "2012-01-25T20:22:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/21 "2012-01-26T01:06:33Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I just talked to my brother to ask if he’d be going down to the funeral. I expected him to either say yes, or that he was too poor. I was wrong. > > My brother-in-law, the father to these kids, is an alcoholic. He’s pretty much drunk all day long. Apparently one night when my brother, who lives with them, was downstairs, he heard some yelling upstairs between my sister and brother-in-law. He says he heard “something bad” and had to come to my sister’s rescue. Once he reached the top of the steps, my BiL punched him in the head, knocking him down. “It’s hard to remember,” he tells me, but somehow the BiL ended up also punching my brother’s girlfriend in the eye, resulting in three stitches. > > _ **So to recap, this guy beat up my sister, brother, and brother’s girlfriend. Amazing** _. (bolding mine) \*\*\* WTF?! \*\*\* Was this _ **before** _ the kid committed suicide? If it was after, I could maybe see that emotions about the suicide, might have had a hand in that ‘drama’. If it was before, then I’m wondering why you haven’t went there and helped your brother stomp his ass till it resembled a bloody mudhole. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/22 "2012-01-26T01:17:49Z")
Shit. I’m so sorry. I think it’s a bit early in the game (and pointless) to start assigning blame. **Chessic** , do whatever you have to do to stay centered and look after yourself first. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/23 "2012-01-26T01:31:55Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s heartbreaking to even think about. When my ex-husband’s mom died, what he seemed to find most touching and helpful was the fact that his best friend called him every single day for a few weeks at least. I think just having someone check in with him really meant a lot. And if they are broke and you can help, you’ll probably never even know how much easier you’re making their lives right now. Bless you for your willingness to help them that way. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/24 "2012-01-26T02:35:08Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/25 "2012-01-26T02:55:49Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I just talked to my brother to ask if he’d be going down to the funeral. I expected him to either say yes, or that he was too poor. I was wrong. > > My brother-in-law, the father to these kids, is an alcoholic. He’s pretty much drunk all day long. Apparently one night when my brother, who lives with them, was downstairs, he heard some yelling upstairs between my sister and brother-in-law. He says he heard “something bad” and had to come to my sister’s rescue. Once he reached the top of the steps, my BiL punched him in the head, knocking him down. “It’s hard to remember,” he tells me, but somehow the BiL ended up also punching my brother’s girlfriend in the eye, resulting in three stitches. > > So to recap, this guy beat up my sister, brother, and brother’s girlfriend. Amazing. Oh, man, it sounds like this guy is a total trainwreck. Is your sister happily married to him? I don’t want to assume that she’s unhappy, but being married to a drunk who beats up your family and who also has a dysfunctional former family doesn’t sound like fun to me. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/26 "2012-01-26T02:57:44Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > (bolding mine) > > \*\*\* WTF?! \*\*\* Was this _ **before** _ the kid committed suicide? If I’m following the story correctly, Sis and brother-in-law are the stable ones. Kid had an abusive bio-mom and step dad who are presumable worse. Condolences, **Chessic**. It sounds bad all the way around. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/27 "2012-01-26T05:14:26Z")
That is so fucking horrible, Chessic ☹ I’m so very sorry ☹ _hugs_ ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/28 "2012-01-26T13:30:56Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > If I’m following the story correctly, Sis and brother-in-law are the stable ones. Kid had an abusive bio-mom and step dad who are presumable worse. My sister is stable, but has a terrible taste in men. My BiL is semi-stable. He drinks all the time, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of him being violent against any women. It’s not surprising at all that he punched my brother- that’s how male Arkansan hicks fight, apparently - but I was certainly surprised that he hit the girlfriend, who had to get stitches. I wonder if it that swing more accidental that intentional. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/29 "2012-01-26T13:36:23Z")
I’m sorry, **Chessic** , both for the kid’s death and for the general mess ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/30 "2012-01-26T13:54:20Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss… That and I made a really stupid joke the other day in your other thread that I couldn’t edit/erase. I’m so very, very sorry ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/31 "2012-01-26T14:02:29Z")
Chessic, I’m so sorry. One thing to tell your sister is that it’s possible that, if they’d taken both boys, neither one of them would have straightened out and calmed down. Getting away from his whole messed-up setup to a full fresh start may be what saved the one she took in. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/32 "2012-01-26T16:06:56Z")
My condolences. PM me if you want to talk about it over a beer sometime. The other kids are going to need some counseling to get through this. The other brother in particular may experience survivor’s guilt over having gotten out of that house. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/33 "2012-01-26T20:38:22Z")
It’s all so terrible. I’m sorry for your troubles. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/34 "2012-01-27T00:34:35Z")
Sorry to hear that, hope the fam can recover… ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/35 "2012-01-27T00:44:03Z")
\*\* adds voice to sympathetic chorus \*\* ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/36 "2012-01-27T03:04:52Z")
I’m so sorry to hear about all your family’s going through. I hope they come through this tragedy. StG ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/37 "2012-01-27T03:16:43Z")
My family’s praying for yours. We’re here for ya… as much as we can be at a distance. Come back and post whenever you need us. **[prints out a _“Get Out Of The Pit Free”_ card…]** ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/38 "2012-01-29T02:24:23Z")
The funeral was today. I called to make sure everyone was all right and ended up talking to my BiL. I told him he could come to visit us if he wanted, and he reiterated how much he’d like to come to D.C. since he’s into history. I said that if he came down, I’d take him, my sister, and their son for a plane ride. That’s when he lit up. His somber voice turned whimsical. He said he was going home next week and since he didn’t have to go back to work “until he was ready” (per his kickass boss, who also paid for their plane tickets), they’d just pick up and come here as soon as their plane landed. I said I’d go pick them up and fly them here myself. The last few times my sister came here, he had to stay home because he works constantly to provide for his family. He’s never really had time off before. Now he’s got the chance to come to DC, something he’s wanted to do for his whole life, and in a private plane, to boot! So it looks like I’m able to give what I have after all. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633/39 "2012-01-29T02:31:46Z")
That’s good to hear, **Chessic**. I hope you all enjoy the visit as much as possible, given the circumstances. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-step-nephew-is-dead/610633.md?page=1)