# My Stupid Personal Ad **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 1, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474 "2006-02-01T04:50:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/1 "2006-02-01T04:50:49Z")
Just posted [a personal ad](http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/m4w/130217596.html) on Craigslist. I’ve done 'em before, but this is a bit of a different approach. We’ll see how it goes. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/2 "2006-02-01T04:56:39Z")
Certainly a different approach, all right. So – what are your good points? ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/3 "2006-02-01T05:12:11Z")
Good gawd, man! Take that down at once! There is a such a thing as too much honesty. 😉 You are brutally honest about your faults, but there’s very little mention of your good points, and I’m sure you have many. Why not start off with the good points, and then _slowly_ expose them to the real you _after_ they’ve come to adore you? ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/4 "2006-02-01T05:21:12Z")
If I lived near you, I’d probably be intrigued enough to be willing to meet up for coffee. Geeky cute is always good, and none of that stuff is actually all that terrible…_if_ that was indeed truly all the bad stuff and it wasn’t just that there was even worse stuff lurking under the surface. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/5 "2006-02-01T06:13:32Z")
Well, I don’t blame you. I’ve thought about writing bravely honest personal adds myself. My current adds are all honest, but superficial. I believe the George Costanza philosophy of opposite action might have some truth. Do the opposite of everything you’ve ever done and shake it up, see what happens. Although, your add is a bit too morose. The honesty is good, but the wording just kind of lies there, depressed. To be a true contrarian, you’d write the same thing but in sunny and dynamic terms-- make it pop! ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/6 "2006-02-01T06:30:05Z")
It probably comes across as a bit too darkly bitter to get good responses. Women get wearied of bitter men; the “rarely and reluctantly” will shoo away those who optomistically hope for a connection, and those who don’t get scared off are not likely to be interested in a relationship. I think you overshot honest and went to overly down on yourself. 🙂 Also, with any personals ad, if you don’t have a pic they’ll assume you’re Jabba the Hut, only uglier; if you look moderately attractive they’ll forgive a lot of offputting wording and be more willing to try out at least a date. However, it’s just an ad, and no one’s going to die if it doesn’t work out, so I don’t see the harm in gving it a shot. By the way, it’s good to see you around again, Gad! We can always use more smart people over in GD. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/7 "2006-02-01T07:09:31Z")
Where are the “like walking on the beach” and, you’ve got to have walks on the beach. It’s a rule or something. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/8 "2006-02-01T07:51:33Z")
Girl here… First, well written. Shows intelligence. Your ad could go over okay if you looked REALLY great in the accompanying picture. It is a bit intriguing. But even then, it might attract a girl on a rescue mission. Is that what you want? If the pic you put up is bleh, or if you don’t have a picture, don’t expect it to work. Honesty and humourously depression are not bad things to put in an an ad; but there is a hostile overtone in the tread that is very off-putting. It says: " this is how I am, I’m not going to change, and if you don’t like it, f\* you." It sounds like your carefully rehearsed closing argument in a bitter row with a GF, immediately prior to one of you walking out the door for good. Not like a sentiment with which you’d start out a relationship. Just my 2 cents. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/9 "2006-02-01T13:09:26Z")
People – y’all have been whooshed. He’s not really expecting to meet someone with this – it’s more a “fuck it all” statement on the dating thing. I laughed. Of course, I’m not even looking at the moment, I’m so “fuck it all” on the dating thing. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/10 "2006-02-01T18:03:28Z")
**twickster:** > [@](#): > > People – y’all have been whooshed. He’s not really expecting to meet someone with this – it’s more a “fuck it all” statement on the dating thing. It’s a floor wax _and_ a dessert topping, actually. I mean, the ad is real. And with Craigslist’s anonymous (and generally photo-less) system, leaving it up there to see if I get any interesting responses is essentially a costless enterprise (leaving aside the strong likelihood that friends and exes will be able to recognize me from that description). But of course I’m also kinda Pitting myself there. I’m tired of being single and lonely, and in large part I attribute the difficulty I’ve had finding a lasting relationship to those many character traits I so lovingly list. And although everything I say in the ad is true, it’s also somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I’ve got a high opinion of myself and my _good_ points, and I know that most people, if pressed to examine themselves, would come up with at least as many significant flaws, many worse than mine. Plus it was an interesting exercise to see if I could project an overall positive impression of myself while listing only negative traits. Judging from everyone’s responses, I wasn’t very successful there. 🙂 **lavenderviolet:** > [@](#): > > Geeky cute is always good, and none of that stuff is actually all that terrible…_if_ that was indeed truly all the bad stuff and it wasn’t just that there was even worse stuff lurking under the surface. Yeah, I think so. That is, not as far as I can tell. And thanks. **devilsknew:** > [@](#): > > Although, your add is a bit too morose. The honesty is good, but the wording just kind of lies there, depressed. . . . To be a true contrarian, you’d write the same thing but in sunny and dynamic terms-- make it pop! **Gaudere:** > [@](#): > > It probably comes across as a bit too darkly bitter to get good responses. . . . I think you overshot honest and went to overly down on yourself. **Maastricht:** > [@](#): > > Honesty and humourously depression are not bad things to put in an an ad; but there is a hostile overtone in the tread that is very off-putting. It says: " this is how I am, I’m not going to change, and if you don’t like it, f\* you." Thanks to everyone for the responses. The comments above, especially, indicate that I didn’t hit the mark I was aiming for in terms of an effective ad, even if it felt nicely cathartic to write. 🙂 I don’t _feel_ bitter or morose or hostile; at least, I don’t usually, and I don’t right now. If I were to give this approach another try in the future, I’d certainly incorporate your suggestions. I’ve done ads in the past like **devilsknew** describes – sunny and dynamic about dark and, um, static things – and it’s worked fairly well. I’m sure I’ll try it again sometime. 🙂 Oh, and for those who _do_ suspect that I look like Jabba the Hut, here’re [a bunch of photos](http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/gadarene/my_photos) from the last couple years, with which you can confirm your suspicion, or not. 😉 (And thanks for the welcome back, **Gaud**!) ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/11 "2006-02-01T18:37:42Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > It’s a floor wax _and_ a dessert topping, actually. I mean, the ad is real. Okay – sorry – guess I was the one who got whooshed. If you’re doing something other than performance art, you really do need to lighten up just a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/12 "2006-02-01T19:22:51Z")
> [@](#): > > If you’re doing something other than performance art, you really do need to lighten up just a little bit. Ta! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/13 "2006-02-01T19:47:27Z")
I’d leave it exactly as it is but add this line at the very end… "But I’m well endowed and a great kisser, what more could you want? " Much can be overlooked if you’re a great kisser and have a big dick. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/14 "2006-02-01T20:00:10Z")
Hey now, I read it and laughed, but am by no means an “erstwhile” friend. I think you need another weekend in NYC. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/15 "2006-02-01T20:12:08Z")
Feel free to laugh, **Maegs** ; you weren’t the erstwhile friend I was thinking of. > [@](#): > > I think you need another weekend in NYC. Yeah, my last one was so full of romance. 🙂 **velvetjones:** > [@](#): > > I’d leave it exactly as it is but add this line at the very end… "But I’m well endowed and a great kisser, what more could you want? " > > Much can be overlooked if you’re a great kisser and have a big dick. I think that might o’ertilt the tone. 😃 Tho I _am_ a great kisser. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/16 "2006-02-01T20:19:15Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > Feel free to laugh, **Maegs** ; you weren’t the erstwhile friend I was thinking of. Not thinking of me is precisely your problem. > [@](#): > > Yeah, my last one was so full of romance. 🙂 I doubt it is any consolation to you, but my weekend _was_ full of romance. 🙂 As I am sure you recall, thanks to your peer pressure, I met my wife. I can’t promise you romance or anything, but I can deliver on good beer and passable conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/17 "2006-02-01T20:26:15Z")
**Gadarene** , are you the blackhaired Dan in the pictures you linked to? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/18 "2006-02-01T20:29:10Z")
One huge problem I’ve seen with most Craigslist personal ads, especially from women seeking men, is a lack of any physical description. On [match.com](http://match.com), when there’s a woman-seeking-man profile that include only face-only photos, most men assume the worst - she’s going to be fat, even if she describes her body as “average” or “athletic.” Looks are important to women, too. Just like the weight of a woman is important to many men, tha vast majority of women are fixated on a man’s height. Men complain about women in the online dating world who misrepresent their weight; women complain just as loudly about men who are shorter than they claim With no idea of your build, and more importantly, your height, women are also likely to assume the worst, and believe you’re a midget. “Geeky cute” isn’t enough ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/19 "2006-02-01T20:33:13Z")
**Maastricht:** > [@](#): > > Gadarene, are you the blackhaired Dan in the pictures you linked to? Nope. I’m the only one who’s found in all the photo folders. Tall. Geeky. Y’know. **Maeglin:** > [@](#): > > Not thinking of me is precisely your problem. D’oh. I deserved that one. > [@](#): > > As I am sure you recall, thanks to your peer pressure, I met my wife. I do recall. And I’m still proud. 🙂 (Come to think of it, it was because of me that my friend Ed met his future wife too. Hmm.) > [@](#): > > I can’t promise you romance or anything, but I can deliver on good beer and passable conversation. That does sound fun! I’ll see what my weekends look like after I take the bar in late February. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474/20 "2006-02-01T20:35:07Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Where are the “like walking on the beach” and, you’ve got to have walks on the beach. It’s a rule or something. Yes! Women love long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners in Italian restaurants, and walks in the park. They also like men who love to laugh, love life, know what they want, work hard and play hard, don’t play games, enjoy going out for a night on the town as well as staying home and watching a DVD, and who are just as comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt as in a tuxedo. Oh yeah … DaVinci Code, DaVinci Code, DaVinci Code, DaVinci Code, DaVinci Code, Angels and Demons. and DaVinci Code. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-stupid-personal-ad/342474.md?page=2)