# My Theory about Michael Jackson **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246 "2005-02-15T20:30:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/1 "2005-02-15T20:30:01Z")
I think I’ve given this before, but it seems to be germane now, what with the trial and everything. Michael Jackson is a spce alien, planted in a musical family that was hypnotized into accepting him as one of their own. The aliens don’t look like us, so he was given treatments to make him physically resemble us. Over the years, these have begun to wear off. At first he could cover it up with a glove and dark glasses, and claim a skin condition was making his skin lighter. He has always denied that he has undergone excessive plastic surgery, and this, ironically, is true. While he has had renewal efforts to keep his re-transformation at bay, it couldn’t stop his inevitable slide to his native form. Now that his nose is falling away, it’s getting even harder to disguise the truth. He’s still covering up as best he can (remember the masks he’s worn, and the weird appearance of his nose, as if something was taped there? But the cover-up is getting harder. Soon we’ll see a gull-fledged, noseless, completely dark almond-eyed Gray on the witness stand. No wonder he wanted to obtain specimens, like the Elephant Man. He must’ve thought being a rich pop musician would allow him unprecedented freedom in gathering research material. He reckoned without the harsh spoltlight of celebrity, though, which messed things up. We should keep an eye on his kids, in case a “Shadow Over Innsmouth” syndrome takes place. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/2 "2005-02-15T20:36:39Z")
You’ve been watching too much MIB II ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/3 "2005-02-15T20:43:23Z")
That was just his flaunting it/ Hide-In-Plain sight effort. But it won’t work – we’re onto him now. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/4 "2005-02-15T20:55:01Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I think I’ve given this before, but it seems to be germane now, what with the trial and everything. Jermaine? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/5 "2005-02-16T02:11:12Z")
So that’s why he probes little boys, for his research? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/6 "2005-02-16T03:38:26Z")
Hmmm…you know, when I read _New Jedi Order_ series, there was a species of alien which completely altered every part of their physical looks-mutilating their bodies-the more painful and bizarre, the better. They had no noses-just slits in their faces, big bulging eyes, lips, and constantly made modifications, tattoos, you name it. And I thought, “DAMN!!! It’s a race of Michael Jacksons!” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/7 "2005-02-16T09:10:18Z")
I think it’s just the devastating effects of long-term exposure to pixie-dust. No, wait, that’s Courtney Love. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/8 "2005-02-16T15:27:41Z")
The _real_ Michael Jackson was recruited by this dude called Centauri. What we see is a simuloid. The odd behavior and changes in appearance is due to a bug in the simuloid’s systems the latter is actually a benefit - it helps to keep one step ahead of the Zandozans. It’s no coinicidence that Michael’s changes began around 1984! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/9 "2005-02-16T16:02:56Z")
The obvious hole in this theory is that it assumes the rest of the Jackson family is human. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/10 "2005-02-16T16:12:45Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > The _real_ Michael Jackson was recruited by this dude called Centauri. What we see is a simuloid. The odd behavior and changes in appearance is due to a bug in the simuloid’s systems the latter is actually a benefit - it helps to keep one step ahead of the Zandozans. It’s no coinicidence that Michael’s changes began around 1984! I had no idea that MJ was that good at video games! _Greetings Starfighter…_ ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/11 "2005-02-17T14:44:21Z")
I think you may be on to something…just today there was a news story about possible methane farting microbes on Mars, but the news on CNN was MJ, MJ, MJ. I think we, the public, are being warmed up for a big announcement soon. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-about-michael-jackson/290246/12 "2005-02-17T15:10:22Z")
Did you see the list of people Michael Jackson was asking to testify on his account? One of them is **Uri Geller**! As if having psychic testify on your side (you gotta wonder why, and what he’s going to say), it’s important to remember that in Andrija Puharich’s biography of Geller, **Uri** , he said that Geller _was contacted by a UFO that spoke to him_. I think we can all draw the obvious conclusion.