# My theory is, women adore the hard-boiled fascist in men. Discuss. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 27, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197 "2003-09-27T20:03:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ultraviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/c77e96/32.png) [@Ultraviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ultraviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/21 "2003-09-29T05:24:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Freiheit \* > \*\*I think that in this age of high divorce rates, many girls grow up without a father figure, which I believe is fundamental to the growth of a child. They live their lives with something missing, and they find themselves attracted to guys with father-like personalities: say, the in-charge type. \*\* And how does this theory account for lesbians from divorced families (like myself)? Also, in most families these days, divorced or not, it seems fathers take a larger role in the lives of their children compared with past eras where fathers were often not involved with their children much at all. ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/22 "2003-09-29T07:53:26Z")
I’ll second the statement that it depends on the woman. I know for sure that at least some women like a sensitive guy who can be nice to them and tries to see their point of view. I am such a guy. If the women who prefer tough guys are the ones who are tough and authoritarian themselves, then they can have their tough guys because I would not get along with those women. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/23 "2003-09-29T08:28:02Z")
I like “take charge” people in general. Not bossy types, but people of action. People who are alive, vibrant and passionate. Not timid people. (Not to say I hate timid people, but they are not my preference). I think strong, assertive men can also be sensitive. I don’t equate the length of marriage with “successful marriage.” Some people stay for convenience, economics, social status, fear, etc. But that is another topic, I presume. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/24 "2003-09-29T08:52:08Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t want some bleeding heart, tree hugging, efeminiate (spelling?) wuss who would not defend me because he is a “peace loving” type of guy. Does anybody mind if I pick on this comment a little more? Good. 😉 What do you mean with this “defending me” stuff, **sleppytimebaby**? Are you talking about a guy who’d ride in on a white horse and slug anyone who was rude to you or looked at you wrong, to defend your honor? Yick. (“Remember, men, we’re fighting for this woman’s honor- which is probably more than she ever did.” -Groucho ;)) When a guy gets, ahem, ‘friendlier’ with my girlfriend than I’d like, or stares too much or something, I definitely start thinking about yelling at him, or punching his face in. I wouldn’t actually DO it. Not just because it’s stupid, would get me arrested, and she wouldn’t want me to do it, but because that’s not ‘defending,’ manly, or noble. It’s the action of a possessive, violent, potentially dangerous asshole. It’d just be a matter of time before a guy like that started punching YOU. None of this has anything to do with politics, really. A liberal who goes around doing that is just as nuts as a conservative. If you’re talking about a guy who wouldn’t sit by when someone insulted you, my question is “what do you need a guy for there?” Insult him back yourself! Defend YOURSELF. Didn’t you hear chivalry is dead? 😉 Like I said before, if we’re talking about defending a girl against violence, that’s a whole other situation. The fact that I’m a registered Green would go the hell out the window if my girlfriend was in danger, which I think is true of most guys of any political affiliation. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/25 "2003-09-29T15:09:07Z")
I’m with **Marley**. If you’re bothering my girlfriend, she can let you know, I’m not gonna be the meathead guy that goes, “MMMM! Woman mine! Og smash!” But I’ll bust out with my kung fu grip if I need to lay some smack down. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/26 "2003-09-29T15:20:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Perhas those women that do like that type are confusing aggression, arrogance and desire for domination with the “better” qualities of confidence, ability and leadership? \*\* That could very well be it. Part of the problem being, that it may take quite a while to figure out which it is that you actualy have on your hands. As to the “tree-hugging wuss”, well, those are entirely different issues: wusses, and heroes, come in all flavors and colors, some hug trees and some drill for oil. And expounding further _could_ finally tip over the thread into the eternal “Nice\ guys v. brutes” argument so I’ll stop there. ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/27 "2003-09-29T19:58:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Perhas those women that do like that type are confusing aggression, arrogance and desire for domination with the “better” qualities of confidence, ability and leadership? \*\* Bless my eyes, how I missed this the first time 'round I do not know. Because you have said in one sentence, and with great clarity, what I was attempting to mumble in several. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/28 "2003-10-02T21:18:44Z")
> [@](#): > > The point I want to get across is that maybe girls like these (what I have termed “Fascist” or “Unliberal”) guys because they have very hard-found beliefs and are willing to stand up for them, however unpopular, unsavoury or downright crazy they are. It creates this tense sexual atmosphere, that you can’t get with “liberal” and “agreeable” people. You need that “Hard Winger” (no puns or political accusations necessary or hopefully relevant) to get your juices flowing ladies. Hurm. I’ve always assumed that my radical politics would turn off women, so I shut up about it & gave up on ever having a serious relationship. Have I been going at this all wrong? Are you saying I need to be as blatant & radical as possible? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/29 "2003-10-02T21:30:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marley23 \* > \*\*Like I said before, if we’re talking about defending a girl against violence, that’s a whole other situation. The fact that I’m a registered Green would go the hell out the window if my girlfriend was in danger, which I think is true of most guys of any political affiliation. \*\* So, as a registered Green, would you respect another man’s right to take action if his gf was in danger? Is there some contradiction you see between your politics & this aspect of your personality? Why should a Green be a wuss? Or, why would you hold to a belief system that contradicts something that important? ---
**Author:** ![cajela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cajela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cajela)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/30 "2003-10-03T02:15:31Z")
**CanvasShoes** : brilliantly put. I also agree that it is pointless trying for universal generalisations about men or women. I really dislike the asociation of liberal with “wuss”. It takes some guts to stick up for principles which seem currently to be reviled in the US. Even more to actually act on them. The bloke I want is Atticus Finch, not whats-his-name from Die Hard. So while I do want someone who will stand up and do the right thing, that’s not some macho jerk who swaggers around beating his chest. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197/31 "2003-10-03T03:35:56Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t recall meeting any women who even CARED about a man’s political views. Does this strike anyone else as bizarre? I’m unlikely to be able to maintain a relationship with a member of the Canadian Alliance, or a Stalinist, or someone who believes in the abolition of yogurt, or someone who is airheadedly apolitical to such a degree that he only cares about the economy insofar as it affects the price of K. (All of which makes it rather fortunate that I’ve got me my very own lil bleeding-heart homeless-shelter-working leftie English punkboi. _snuggles punkboi_) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-theory-is-women-adore-the-hard-boiled-fascist-in-men-discuss/204197.md?page=1)