# My thumb fucking HURTS! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 13, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297 "2005-03-13T05:10:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/1 "2005-03-13T05:10:04Z")
Why? Because I got a paper cut this morning. That’s not unusual. At work, most of what I do is stuffing envelopes, copying, filing, etc. Papercuts are an occupational hazard. I deal, no problem. But not this one. No, this is a non-work related papercut. I’m opening a fucking bank statement this morning, and somehow manage to slice my thumb open on the envelope. _ **Underneath my goddamn fingernail!!!** _ It still fucking hurts if I have the audacity to bend my thumb. Fuuuuuuuuuck. :mad: (On the upside, my checking account is, quite inexplicably, nearly a hundred bucks chunkier than I thought it was. That _almost_ makes up for it. Almost.) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/2 "2005-03-13T05:13:57Z")
Gee, and I was going to recommend using a dildo instead. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/3 "2005-03-13T05:15:29Z")
Doctor, it hurts when I do this. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/4 "2005-03-13T07:53:16Z")
> [@JonScribe](#): > > Doctor, it hurts when I do this. [Obligatory Response] The don’t do that! [/OR] ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/5 "2005-03-13T14:09:31Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > somehow manage to slice my thumb open on the envelope. _ **Underneath my goddamn fingernail!!!** _ Owwww!!!. AIEEEEEE!!! :-S Ack!, that send cold shivers down my spine; I don´t know what it is, but paper cuts freak me out. I can slice my finger open with a knife and there´s no problem, tear it against a grinding wheel, or fry the skin with a solder, and won´t complain; but paper cuts, even the idea of a paper cut, gives me the heebie-jeebies. I guess I´m funny that way. By the way I can´t stand neither when someone folds a paper and creases it by running the two fingers along the fold, it´s worse than fingernails across a blackboard to me. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/6 "2005-03-14T02:33:06Z")
_ **kisses NinjaChick’s thumb and makes it well, gives her a lollipop and pats her on the head** _ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/7 "2005-03-14T02:44:16Z")
You’re not supposed to use your thumb. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/8 "2005-03-14T04:25:18Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > _ **kisses NinjaChick’s thumb and makes it well, gives her a lollipop and pats her on the head** _ 😃😃 Now that’s what I was lookin’ for! It feels better today. From know on, I use my pocketknife to open the mail. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/9 "2005-03-14T15:03:00Z")
This thread title is all the funnier after last night’s episode of “Deadwood”. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/10 "2005-03-14T16:09:05Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > [Obligatory Response] > The don’t do that! > [/OR] I think it is quite inappropriate to be giving out medical advice if you don’t have a medical degree. [sub]Yes, that was a joke. Fuddy duddy.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/11 "2005-03-14T16:15:28Z")
Chicks that double as ninjas _and_ carry pocketknives are hot! Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/12 "2005-03-14T16:30:26Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Why? Because I got a paper cut this morning. > That’s not unusual. This reminds me of an episode of “Lois and Clark” where Clark is confounded by people telling him about paper cuts. Naturally, being superman, he never experienced a paper cut. So, since I hadn’t had a paper cut as well, I figured I might be superman. No such luck, ever since that stupid episode, I get papercuts every now and then ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/13 "2005-03-14T17:28:15Z")
Freaking criminacious yipe eating lemurs, **NinjaChick**! You just reminded me of the one time I got a papercut _under_ the nail, back in 4th grade. God damn did that hurt. I feel your pain. ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/14 "2005-03-15T02:54:13Z")
I had a similar papercut the other week - under the nail, and the cut was from a _file folder_. The medium-weight cardboard king. Yeeeouch! I find that the liquid bandage stuff worked really well to seal up the wound and keep water out. ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/15 "2005-03-15T02:55:46Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > I had a similar papercut the other week - under the nail, and the cut was from a _file folder_. The medium-weight cardboard king. > > Yeeeouch! > > I find that the liquid bandage stuff worked really well to seal up the wound and keep water out. Gah! …the medium-weight cardboard _kind_. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/16 "2005-03-15T03:54:36Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > I had a similar papercut the other week - under the nail, and the cut was from a _file folder_. The medium-weight cardboard king. > > Yeeeouch! > > I find that the liquid bandage stuff worked really well to seal up the wound and keep water out. But the way that that liquid stuff stings is worthy of a Pit thread all of itself, I think. Ooooooowwwww. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/17 "2005-03-15T07:50:56Z")
Wimps. I had an ant bite me on the eyelid once. [Linky](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=233911) ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/18 "2005-03-15T08:02:30Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > I had a similar papercut the other week - under the nail, and the cut was from a _file folder_. The medium-weight cardboard kin[d] I got a paper cut under the nail of my right index finger last Christmas from actual cardboard while trying to open the packaging on one of my son’s new toys, which is, again, an entirely different thread. Why the fuck do they make kid toys so difficult to get to? Some of them actually require screwdrivers to remove the packaging. WTF? They’re worse than DVDs! ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/19 "2005-03-15T08:49:40Z")
I got a pretty bad papercut in the second knuckle crease of my right index finger last week. From a corrigated box lid. The cut itself wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was feeling the cardboard sawing through the skin. Gah. It has since healed completely. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297/20 "2005-03-15T18:54:33Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > Wimps. I had an ant bite me on the eyelid once. [Linky](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=233911) Pah! I was the victim of a small insect known as a “Nairobi eye” in Africa. They exude an acid that causes symptoms identical to 3rd degree burns. My entire upper left arm was involved, requiring burn cream and gauze bandages for two weeks. I still have scarring from it. Ants, my ass. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-thumb-fucking-hurts/294297.md?page=2)