# My Time Machine is ready for testing! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2007, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021 "2007-05-14T12:27:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LightWithoutHeattttttttttttttt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc8723/32.png) [@LightWithoutHeattttttttttttttt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LightWithoutHeattttttttttttttt)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/21 "2007-05-14T14:40:37Z")
“Billy, you are dealing with the oddity of time travel with the greatest of ease.” All that was needed for that one was a phone booth and, eventually, a big piece of gum for repairs. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/22 "2007-05-14T15:06:34Z")
[QUOTE=LightWithoutHeattttttttttttttt] “Billy, you are dealing with the oddity of time travel with the greatest of ease.” All that was needed for that one was a phone booth and, eventually, a big piece of gum for repairs. [/QUOTE] “Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan?” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/23 "2007-05-14T16:31:22Z")
I already know I invent time travel. I know because my apartment is haunted. The ghost has long hair, a beard, and screams in what I think is Yiddish. He also has a birthmark on his shoulder- the same birthmark I have. At some point in the future, I invent time travel. I travel back to this apartment, before the young me moved in. Then, I die here. My spirit haunts the younger me. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/24 "2007-05-14T16:36:20Z")
So, how were the Elois and the Morlocks doing? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/25 "2007-05-14T17:00:11Z")
Oooooooooooo! Morlocks! ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/26 "2007-05-14T17:02:14Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] So, how were the Elois and the Morlocks doing? [/QUOTE] I believe the furthest into the future I’d safely be able to go is about 10 years. You see, that famous time travel documentary _Back to the Future_ makes it look like you transport to the exact same physical location from which you left. But according to _my_ calculations, the greater the amount of time traversed, the greater the amount of “drift” between your point of origin and the place you “land”. So, if I tried to travel 10,000 years into the future (or the past), I’d wind up landing several light-years away. That would be _problematic_. Stepping back into a practical test, I think my test will be travelling 6-12 months into the future (and back again). I’ll provide some kind of photographic evidence, of course. I know we have many skeptics in our midst. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/27 "2007-05-14T17:14:10Z")
As anybody who reads my Livejournal knows, I’ve never been properly fixed in space time. This causes many problems. The Chronocil and boron carbonate help some. But, I was wondering if any of you Chronologists/Tempunauts know of a better method to keep me to my proper place in the continuum. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/28 "2007-05-14T17:16:06Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] As anybody who reads my Livejournal knows, I’ve never been properly fixed in space time. This causes many problems. The Chronocil and boron carbonate help some. But, I was wondering if any of you Chronologists/Tempunauts know of a better method to keep me to my proper place in the continuum. [/QUOTE] You forgot to carry the 1, is all. It’s all in the details. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/29 "2007-05-14T17:21:52Z")
A-yep. I’ve often wondered if I was born unstuck in spacetime due to an error I make in the future. This confirms it. I am unstuck in spacetime, therefore I mucked up the math. I must muck up the math. I will muck up the math when the time comes again. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/30 "2007-05-14T17:24:07Z")
I actually posted this message from five years in the future. President Adams asked me to say hello to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![SiouxChief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SiouxChief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiouxChief)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/31 "2007-05-14T18:00:34Z")
Whoa, Winston, did you just convince Gavrilo Princip to assassinate Archduke Ferdinand, starting World War I? 'Cause I could’ve sworn that didn’t happen before… ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/32 "2007-05-14T18:11:46Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] As anybody who reads my Livejournal knows, I’ve never been properly fixed in space time. This causes many problems. The Chronocil and boron carbonate help some. But, I was wondering if any of you Chronologists/Tempunauts know of a better method to keep me to my proper place in the continuum. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Winston Smith] You forgot to carry the 1, is all. It’s all in the details. [/QUOTE] **Doc** , I do not believe our esteemed colleague \*\*Winston Smith \*\* is correct in this case. It is not the 1 you forgot to carry, but in all likelihood the Square Root of -1. This could have caused you some ‘grave’ problems, if you just recalculated based on \*\*Mr. Smith’s \*\* suggestion. [QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] I actually posted this message from five years in the future. President Adams asked me to say hello to everyone. [/QUOTE] Which Adams? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/33 "2007-05-14T18:18:20Z")
So, if you can travel to the future, what integer will I post in this thread in ten minutes time? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/34 "2007-05-14T18:25:41Z")
**What Exit** I cannot recalculate. My being unstuck in timespace is an effect. My miscalculation is the cause. The effect has happened. Therefore, the cause must happen. I miscalculated. I will miscalculate when the time comes. I will always miscalculate that equation. and I hope the Adams is our own Unca Cecil ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/35 "2007-05-14T18:34:35Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] So, if you can travel to the future, what integer will I post in this thread in ten minutes time? [/QUOTE] Why 9 of course. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/36 "2007-05-14T18:52:28Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] So, if you can travel to the future, what integer will I post in this thread in ten minutes time? [/QUOTE] Nine. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/37 "2007-05-14T20:11:34Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] … Which [President] Adams? [/QUOTE] Jim, Jim, Jim. What message board are you posting to, again? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/38 "2007-05-14T20:25:45Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Jim, Jim, Jim. What message board are you posting to, again? :dubious: [/QUOTE] So not John Quincy or even his Dad? I would like to go grab Teddy for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021/39 "2007-05-15T01:47:04Z")
It’s all well and good that you invented a time machine, but only [he who patents it first](http://www.cheapass.com/products/boardgames/cag034.html) gets to profit from it! (Race you!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-time-machine-is-ready-for-testing/404021.md?page=1)