# My transition to poly has been rough

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-transition-to-poly-has-been-rough/678016>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 6, 2014, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-transition-to-poly-has-been-rough/678016 "2014-01-06T11:00:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 35

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-transition-to-poly-has-been-rough/678016/35 "2014-01-09T05:09:53Z")

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> [@Themis00](#):
>
> I’m confused why a poly woman would invite me to a party full of poly people, and then they give me the cold shoulder when I arrived. I tried talking to most people at the party, but the conversations fizzled out quickly. The girlfriend was the only one who seemed interested in getting to know me better. It’s not like I singled her out and only talked to her, while I was there. I talked to her the most, because she was the only one who reciprocated. Well, there’s was another girl who was friendly, but she was straight and she left the party early.

You didn’t want to talk to her because she was straight?

Look, your social skills sound remarkably poor as is your attitude towards other people. [In this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4574710#post4574710), you say

> [@Am I an arrogant person because of this?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-an-arrogant-person-because-of-this/230830/1):
>
> I only communicate with people who I can relate to or that I find interesting. For the people who do not fall into those two categories, I only communicate if I need something from them or need to get something accomplished.

You have 254 posts and have started 80 threads. Seems like you often post several times in your own threads, so have much have you participated in threads that you didn’t start? Are you interested in anything other than your own narrow interests?

> [@Themis00](#):
>
> I communicated with this woman that I was having trouble transitioning into poly and same-sex relationships, when we met one on one. She didn’t seem to have a problem with it, and still invited me to her party. So she knew ahead of time that I was struggling in these communities. It should’ve not been any surprise that I was a little uncomfortable. Instead of her/them showing me the ropes, it appears like I was judged/rejected. I’m about to give up.

That does sound like you were trying to use her for your own purposes rather than genuinely trying to be friends with her. Did you actually like her or did you just think she would be a conduit to sex? Did you blow off the straight girl because she wasn’t sexually available? Maybe her friends noticed that.

> [@Lamia](#):
>
> I see this is going to be one of those threads where someone asks for advice, then rejects all the advice that’s offered with a bunch of excuses and justifications.

Yeah, probably.

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