# My wife does not appreciate my nuts (probably TMI. probably.) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650 "2006-05-06T04:45:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/21 "2006-05-06T15:10:21Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] Cremasteric. Is the name of the reflex…Women sometimes feel it. Because every structure in the male is an analogue of a structure in the female, we have a little fibrous rope running from our ovaries to the inside of the skin in our labia majora (would be scrotum if it fused up the front - which would allow no access to the playground, which would be a shame). If we hear about a sharp thing advancing towards a guy we care about, we get a little cremasteric reflex too. [/QUOTE] Ok, I’m trying to picture the action here. In women, would the cremasteric reflex pull the labia majora apart? Or pull them inward and slightly closed? What sensation does this action produce? Vlad/Igor ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/22 "2006-05-06T15:20:57Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] I now have two new favorite words, courtesy of the Dope: Cremasteric and Cromulent. I shall now use them in every day conversation and see how many are in the know. “That was a Cremasteric Retreat\*.” “Perfectly cromulent, if you ask me.” **Sidd** Thank you for explaining one of life’s deeper (and disturbing) mysteries of a Man and his Scrotum. These hanging brains are referred to, by me, as The Command Post and I think if they are allowed free rein ( as it were) would try to take over the world through their ballsy evilness. This is why the women of this world have the job of giving the little buggers the veriatable smack down whenever they are getting cocky. Your wife is a good agent in the war against the Hanging Brain Takeover. Be a good lad and go and rub her feet now, will you? \*Band Name. [/QUOTE] (in German accent) Well, **Shirley**. It looks like you need some…re..ed..u..cation? Balls don’t desire to rule the world. That job goes to the ego. Consider the balls analogous to the American flag. It’s a source of pride to the \*Nation of Man. They are part of our identity, darling. That’d be like taking all the automakers out of Michigan. Everyone would be depressed and there’d be economic collapse in the entire state. You need the balls. And you need the Brotherhood. You even know it. That’s why you so fervently fight us. But that’s fine. Some of our members like \*Spunky Females, so youuuuuuu’re in luck, dah-ling. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/23 "2006-05-06T16:09:29Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] (in German accent) Well, **Shirley**. It looks like you need some…re..ed..u..cation? Balls don’t desire to rule the world. That job goes to the ego. Consider the balls analogous to the American flag. It’s a source of pride to the \*Nation of Man. They are part of our identity, darling. That’d be like taking all the automakers out of Michigan. Everyone would be depressed and there’d be economic collapse in the entire state. You need the balls. And you need the Brotherhood. You even know it. That’s why you so fervently fight us. But that’s fine. Some of our members like \*Spunky Females, so youuuuuuu’re in luck, dah-ling. [/QUOTE] I shall never look at the American Flag again without thinking of a pair of hairy testicles and when servicing my husbands pair, I shall hum the Star Spangled Banner. ---
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/24 "2006-05-06T17:01:18Z")
[QUOTE=Rigamarole] Can you link to this site? I think I’d be interested in it too. My deepest apologies that I have nothing to contribute about your balls. [/QUOTE] [http://www.bitterwaitress.com/gossip/articles.html?category\_id=3](http://www.bitterwaitress.com/gossip/articles.html?category_id=3) I woke up this morning to find a small jar of testicle wax on my bedside table and a note of apology from my wife. Well, in a perfect world that might’ve happened. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/25 "2006-05-06T17:16:44Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] I shall never look at the American Flag again without thinking of a pair of hairy testicles and when servicing my husbands pair, I shall hum the Star Spangled Banner. [/QUOTE] You realize that humming in that situation is a Good Thing, right? Glad I could help in the re-education. You may thank me in Kit-Kats and seafood dinners. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/26 "2006-05-06T18:15:59Z")
[QUOTE=Vlad/Igor] Ok, I’m trying to picture the action here. In women, would the cremasteric reflex pull the labia majora apart? Or pull them inward and slightly closed? What sensation does this action produce? Vlad/Igor [/QUOTE] I’ve never looked down at mine when it was happening. Pull a spot the size of a quarter slightly inward, I suppose. As to how it feels? It feels… it feels like… this funny little feeling down there, following on a moment of suspense or acute anxiety for another’s equipment plus flag… which is sort of tightening… and… help me out here, articulate female Dopers. All Y’all: Y’all have got to quit making me go Awww. I’m getting such a swelled head I’m afraid I can’t take my t-shirt off without EMS shears. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/27 "2006-05-06T19:00:59Z")
Well, if they are really that remarkable perhaps you could be a testicle model? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/28 "2006-05-06T20:00:32Z")
“Testicle Wax”??? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/29 "2006-05-06T20:44:39Z")
**gabriela** , now you know how **twickster** feels, with her engorged melon and all. Hm. Screennames with all lower-case letters? Check. So far, so good. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/30 "2006-05-06T20:45:43Z")
[QUOTE=Sam Stone] “Testicle Wax”??? [/QUOTE] I was skipping over this on purpose. Either it’s a deforesting agent, a la Agent Orange or it’s something to restore the shine. I’m hoping it’s the shine. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_O\_Malley\_s\_Cow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Mrs\_O\_Malley\_s\_Cow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_O_Malley_s_Cow)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/31 "2006-05-06T21:24:47Z")
[QUOTE=Vlad/Igor] Ok, I’m trying to picture the action here. In women, would the cremasteric reflex pull the labia majora apart? Or pull them inward and slightly closed? What sensation does this action produce? Vlad/Igor [/QUOTE] A monster has been created. And about testicle wax. Picture a bikini wax only on the most sensitive part of the male’s body. Riiiipppppp…mwah hah ha. I bet a few of you did just the Cremasteric. ---
**Author:** ![Pensandfeathers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Pensandfeathers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pensandfeathers)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/32 "2006-05-06T21:36:51Z")
[QUOTE=Fern Forest] The really neat thing about them is that if you just leave them along and watch them they play together. Rolling this way and that. It’s mesmerizing. [/QUOTE] As a woman, I am truly fascinated by the fact that they _move on their own._ When I first discovered this, I was mesmerized and couldn’t stop staring at my then-boyfriends balls. I think I may have made him a little uncomfortable. _laughs_ I find balls, and the male genital region in general, fascinating. My best friend shares the same admiration, so do take comfort in the fact that there are ladies out there that love the manly bits. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/33 "2006-05-06T22:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] Cremasteric. Is the name of the reflex. [/QUOTE] I can’t believe it took a woman to put a name to a sensation I’ve wondered about my entire life. Although I’m not entirely sure we’re talking about the same thing. Googling it up just doesn’t do the sensation any justice, and I’ve never associated it with “This reflex is elicited by lightly stroking the superior and medial part of the thigh in a downward direction. The normal response is a contraction of the cremaster muscle that pulls up the scrotum and testis on the side stroked.” Nope. Stroking my superior & medial thigh don’t do a thing for me. This sensation is decidedly pleasurable & “fun.” It’s like your balls are yelling “whoopee! Let’s go on that ride again!” I’ve always experienced it at the apex of a rising & falling movement. Rollercoaster rides, or traveling in a car at highway speeds and topping a small hill. I never associated it with my testicles themselves moving. I always figured it was just the momentary weightlessness that triggered it, and it was an evolutionary bonus nature gave us for - I dunno - swinging from trees? ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/34 "2006-05-06T22:43:18Z")
[QUOTE=fluffyemu] I may be the only person on earth who thinks this, but: I definitely think there are “grades” of testicles. It’s all about how low they hang, symmetry, roundness, smoothness, and, yes, size. There’s a porn star I just cannot stand to watch because he has turkey balls - which is about as appealing as breasts that sag down to the stomach. > **[Private Group Photo & Video Sharing](https://s75.photobucket.com/albums/i300/fluffyemu/)** > > A private space for your group's photos and videos. Share, react, and relive moments together. Available on iOS, Android, and desktop. Free for new sign-ups. Two-click rule applies; you have to click on the “turkey balls” folder to see the goods. [/QUOTE] When I followed the link to view the “turkey balls”, I also got a Mother’s Day ad: > [@](#): > > Don’t Forget Mom! Buy a Minibook Today ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/35 "2006-05-06T22:48:53Z")
[QUOTE=Sam Stone] “Testicle Wax”??? [/QUOTE] Yes, it’s when they’re hanging really low, in full view. When they retreat, it’s “Testical Wane.” I never knew until recently (via this board) that straight guys have absolutely no appreciation for a beautifully hanging pair of balls. They just don’t get how utterly sexy those pairs of dangling orbs can be. We gay guys fully understand the attraction, and we have \*\*\*two pairs \*\*\*to play with. 🙂 Message to straight guys: you’re allowed to acknowledge that parts of the male anatomy are hot. It doesn’t make you gay. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/36 "2006-05-06T23:26:02Z")
Me and my one testicle feel quite underappreciated in here. _pouts_ ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/37 "2006-05-06T23:41:42Z")
but can you do a proper teabag with them? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Daffyd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daffyd/32/8923_2.png) [@Daffyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daffyd)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/38 "2006-05-07T04:37:52Z")
It’s threads ( and thoughts ) like these that make me glad I’m Gay… My partner appreciates my nuts, and I appreciate his - in fact, most Gay guys I know appreciate as many nuts as they can! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/39 "2006-05-07T04:45:24Z")
Appropo of nothing, a cow-orker relayed this bit of trivia from his fifteen year old son: Bat-wings - the sensation you get when the sweat twixt your nethers stick one ball to each thigh. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/40 "2006-05-07T09:03:40Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Yes, it’s when they’re hanging really low, in full view. When they retreat, it’s “Testical Wane.” I never knew until recently (via this board) that straight guys have absolutely no appreciation for a beautifully hanging pair of balls. They just don’t get how utterly sexy those pairs of dangling orbs can be. We gay guys fully understand the attraction, and we have \*\*\*two pairs \*\*\*to play with. 🙂 Message to straight guys: you’re allowed to acknowledge that parts of the male anatomy are hot. It doesn’t make you gay. [/QUOTE] Yeah, nuts are hot. I don’t understand the almost universal female aversion to them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650.md?page=3)