# My wife does not appreciate my nuts (probably TMI. probably.) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650 "2006-05-06T04:45:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/61 "2006-05-07T23:25:30Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] I once followed this good looking girl home, and she gave me this sultry look and said, “Show me your nuts!” I replied, “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!!” ::waves hands:: 😛 “Wokka wokka!” ::makes shadow puppets:: “A British Tern is a soaring soul, as free as a mountain biiiiiirrrd . . .” Needless to say, I didn’t get none that night. :smack: Tripler Well, she asked. [/QUOTE] **Tripler** , I’ve seen "The Groove Tube’ too, you know… That was a comedy reference of extraordinary magnitude. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/62 "2006-05-07T23:28:54Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] I for one am a little weary–no, a lot weary–about cutting up my balls with sharp objects. [/QUOTE] Do it a lot, then, do ya? I think you meant **wary** … ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/63 "2006-05-08T00:08:05Z")
I can’t believe I finally have a proper place to make this observation… When I was about sixteen or so, and the novelty of the Penis/Testicle Stress Test was still fresh to me, I observed to some friends of mine (mixed company, it was) that since scrotums do have this tendency to roll around on their own quite a bit that if we were to be able to clone specific body parts it would be way cool to clone scrotum/testicle combos independent of the rest of the body. “For fuck’s sake, WHY?” was the general response. I went on to describe a form of small critter racing wherein a circle is scribed on a surface, a number of whatever critter one prefers (generally cockroaches, snails, babies or frogs) are placed in the middle of the circle, various sorts of encouragement are applied and the first one over the line wins. “Okay, and what does that have to do with balls, anyway?” they asked. You see, I figured if you have a closed off, self contained scrotum with the requisite pair of testes within, and you lick one side of this critter and blow on it, the resulting crepitation will cause the thing (what would we call it–a scro-ball? 'Ticle-bag?) to roll away, and thus testicle racing would be launched. The sport of the future, I figured, the new Sport Of Kings! Besides, the scro-balls would make fabulous handwarmers to tuck into pockets on cold days… I waxed enthusiastic on the subject of testicle pets for some minutes until I came back to myself and noticed the looks of shocked horror on the face of every one of my friends; male, female, gay, straight, no matter–obviously everyone thought I’d taken complete leave of my senses. I prudently shut up. Since that time I’ve brought this concept out for an airing perhaps once a decade and I’ve received the exact same reaction every damned time. I guess I’m just way ahead of my time or something. I got vision and the rest of the world’s wearin’ bifocals… You cannot begin to imagine how much of a relief it is to finally lay my burden down on the shoulders of you magnificent Dopers, finally to share my wonderful vision with an accepting populace. Thank you, thank you so much… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/64 "2006-05-08T00:18:34Z")
[QUOTE=The Sonoran Lizard King] **Tripler** , I’ve seen "The Groove Tube’ too, you know… That was a comedy reference of extraordinary magnitude. [/QUOTE] :smack: I meant, of course, ‘The Kentucky Fried Movie’. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/65 "2006-05-08T01:55:27Z")
For those of you who live in Pennsylvania, there is a town there somewhere ( I drove past it once, in 1960 for about 20 minutes) that, I swear to Og, the sign read **Scrotum** for the town name. I went from being nearly asleep in the car ( it was some ungodly hour of the early morning.) to being wide awake and going, " Did you see That!" “What? Scrotum?” “Yeah…!” " It’s really [Scotrun](http://www.metrotravelguide.com/hotels_in/scotrun/pa/usa/?sid=4&campaignID=87&subAffiliateID=1087) but every time I pass it, I swear it says Scrotum." ---
**Author:** ![Anaptyxis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anaptyxis/32/3171_2.png) [@Anaptyxis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaptyxis)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/66 "2006-05-08T03:02:10Z")
How, I ask how, are we on page two of this topic without a reference to [this gem of a thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=173121&highlight=scrotumy+goodness). I have highlighted the operative words for your convenience. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/67 "2006-05-08T04:39:18Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] testicle pets 😃 [/QUOTE] I WANT ONE !!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/68 "2006-05-08T14:07:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Cremasteric. Is the name of the reflex. > > My husband informs me guys sometimes feel it for no particular reason in a fast elevator. > > Women sometimes feel it. Because every structure in the male is an analogue of a structure in the female, we have a little fibrous rope running from our ovaries to the inside of the skin in our labia majora (would be scrotum if it fused up the front - which would allow no access to the playground, which would be a shame). If we hear about a sharp thing advancing towards a guy we care about, we get a little cremasteric reflex too. Thank you. I’ve been trying to get the question of whether a woman feels anything analogous to this male feeling answered for years. No joke. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/69 "2006-05-08T14:36:18Z")
[QUOTE=Siddhartha Vicious] … a small jar of testicle wax on my bedside table… [/QUOTE] [Mother’s Testicle Wax](http://www.mothers.com/) would be sooo… wrong. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/70 "2006-05-08T14:42:26Z")
Not all females think that balls are ugly. Some of us rather appreciate the look and feel and taste of a well groomed scrotum. Not that I’d know or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/71 "2006-05-08T15:13:28Z")
[QUOTE=The Sonoran Lizard King] :smack: I meant, of course, ‘The Kentucky Fried Movie’. [/QUOTE] Thank you! I was kinda hoping someone would pick up on it. 😃 Tripler _“Starring Linda Chambers in her finest roll . . .”_ ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/72 "2006-05-08T16:46:58Z")
[QUOTE=catsix] Not all females think that balls are ugly. Some of us rather appreciate the look and feel and taste of a well groomed scrotum. Not that I’d know or anything. [/QUOTE] **catsix** , you get cooler every time I see you post here. How _you_ doin’? (BTW, for education’s sake, what exactly is your idea of “well groomed”?) ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/73 "2006-05-08T17:07:20Z")
I think the entire Ball Package is simply amazing. If I had a set, I’d be hard pressed to keep my hands off of them. ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/74 "2006-05-08T21:51:44Z")
[QUOTE=Sam Stone] “Testicle Wax”??? [/QUOTE] I’ve gotten into the habit of calling them “kiwis,” (after the fruit, not the bird or the people) so the picture that came immediately to mind was a little tin of Kiwi brand Testicle Wax. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/75 "2006-05-08T21:53:39Z")
[QUOTE=phall0106] I think the entire Ball Package is simply amazing. If I had a set, I’d be hard pressed to keep my hands off of them. [/QUOTE] Actually, I’m usually pressing harder when I have my hands _on_ them. _sigh_ Women just don’t understand anatomy… ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/76 "2006-05-08T23:16:32Z")
[QUOTE=phall0106] I think the entire Ball Package is simply amazing. If I had a set, I’d be hard pressed to keep my hands off of them. [/QUOTE] Not to hijack, but that is \*exactly \*how I feel about boobs. 😃 Sadly, I think familiarity eventually breeds contempt. ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/77 "2006-05-08T23:21:56Z")
The greatest thing I heard about testicles was short but to the point. “Man, and I really hate it when it’s hot out and they’re all like **pbhptbphtptth** (sound of testicles flopping downwards and outwards in a desperate attempt to get away from the body)…” Ever since then it’s been near impossible not to think of testicles as people…wee little people. But even so, this moving on their own for non-temperature reasons mystifies me. Curiosity on the matter is going to get me in trouble ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/78 "2006-05-08T23:34:34Z")
[QUOTE=Dervorin] Not to hijack, but that is \*exactly \*how I feel about boobs. 😃 Sadly, I think familiarity eventually breeds contempt. [/QUOTE] Oh please! You’re telling me that if you get to play with boobs all the time for 20 years you’ll be less interested in them by the end? Seriously, _every_ time a woman takes her top off in front of a guy, the guy always gets this “Yay! Boobies! I get to play with **BOOBIES**!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!” look on his face. Cutest face ever. 🙂 As for myself, the more I get to play with man parts, the more I like 'em! ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/79 "2006-05-09T03:04:15Z")
[QUOTE=Anaptyxis] How, I ask how, are we on page two of this topic without a reference to [this gem of a thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=173121&highlight=scrotumy+goodness). I have highlighted the operative words for your convenience. [/QUOTE] Holy crapamoly! I just reread that whole thread and realized that I, in my earlier incarnation (when I was less Smart!) closed that thread with about the same anecdote I posted above… it’s like deja vu all over again! Let’s see if I can kiss o’death this one, too! I am the ThreadKiller, fear me! :smack: 😛 :wally ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650/80 "2006-05-09T03:51:58Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Seriously, every time a woman takes her top off in front of a guy, the guy always gets this “Yay! Boobies! I get to play with BOOBIES!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!” look on his face. Cutest face ever. Not true. There are SOME bad boobies. I got flashed once as a condition of letting the girl eat a burrito I had just bought, and my reaction was more like “…oh. Should’ve just imagined them.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-does-not-appreciate-my-nuts-probably-tmi-probably/355650.md?page=5)