# My wife has died. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2018, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268 "2018-02-21T14:20:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/161 "2018-02-24T17:05:26Z")
> [@MattDHat](#): > > Coach, > I cannot bring myself to say I’m so sorry. > Maybe its the Irish in me, but I must offer > my deepest and most sincere congratulations. > > You two obviously enjoyed four decades of devoted love, > faced the challenges of life together, and I’ll wager lived the life you > two dreamed of when still young, strong,invulnerable and clueless. > > The love of your life was finally called home relatively gently, > with minimal pain and from what you have said, without the terrible loss > of self so many must endure. > > And in her final moments, she knew, she knew to the depth of > her soul and the bottom of her heart that she had been loved > and was loved to her final moment by the one person she loved above all others. > > You, sir, are a man among men, and you have done by your lady > in a way that I can only pray I will be strong enough to stand as tall, > if I am fated to face a page of life like yours. > > I celebrate the WE that was, the WE that lives on, in the hearts and > minds of you and yours. May you find peace in knowing the fullness > of loving well. > > Godspeed- > M > [@Leaffan](#): > > Second post in four and a half years? > Dude, you need to post more. > That was lovely. Yes and yes; it was indeed. I’d post more praise but the dust in the room (that must be what it is) is making it difficult to see properly just now. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/162 "2018-02-24T19:32:12Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > several years ago, my wife put together a bag of important papers, life insurance papers, prepaid funeral papers, etc. Mixed in were her name change and just random bits and pieces, birth certificates, passports(hers), our marriage license. It turns out my baptism certificate was in there. > Now, while our birthdays were a week apart, she was 18 years older. > When I looked at my baptism certificate, I found I was baptized on her birthday. Awwwww … 🙂 what a sweet coincidence. She did you a solid BTW. Our stuff was a _mess_ after the Other Shoe died. Most of it was untangled without much fuss, but because he’d set up the electric account & gone paperless - and I couldn’t get into his email - I had to find out our electricity provider so I could pay the next bill byyyyyy … waiting for the “no srsly ppl we’re gonna shut off your lights” notice in the mail. People say jaw-dropping shit, as you’ve learned with the CSRs. My personal best was the bank teller who - upon learning I was there to close my recently deceased husband’s credit card, as I slid over his death certificate - commenced typing up and absentmindedly asked, “So how was your Christmas? Didja have a nice New Year?” He was on autopilot and I opted not to make a public fuss, but it still stopped my heart for a moment. I joined a Young Widows’ Support Group (now there’s a club nobody wanted to join) and one of the other ladies - upon venturing outside for the 1st time for cat food & toilet paper - encountered one of those “Smile!! You should smile, lady, whatssamatta with you?!?” assholes. He was ringing up her purchases & actually left. his. register. to chase after her some more. “Seriously, you really should smile!! Your whole day will be brighter!!” She was absolutely obliterated by the ordeal. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/163 "2018-02-24T20:54:16Z")
I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/164 "2018-02-24T21:01:03Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I joined a Young Widows’ Support Group (now there’s a club nobody wanted to join) and one of the other ladies - upon venturing outside for the 1st time for cat food & toilet paper - encountered one of those “Smile!! You should smile, lady, whatssamatta with you?!?” assholes. He was ringing up her purchases & actually left. his. register. to chase after her some more. “Seriously, you really should smile!! Your whole day will be brighter!!” She was absolutely obliterated by the ordeal. I’da dropped the bomb on him. “My spouse died the other day; got any more advice, dickhead?” just to watch the expression on his face. After leaving the hospital when **DW** died, I was pretty much running on numb auto-pilot. I needed to put gas in the car and at the next pump over was a young couple with ‘just married’ stuff written all over their car being kissy face. I wanted to say, “Hold onto each other; you never know how long you’ll have,” but I held my peace. I didn’t want to cast a pall on their special day and they would not have understood anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/165 "2018-02-24T21:19:35Z")
Very sorry, **running coach**. I can’t even imagine if my wife were to die. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/166 "2018-02-24T21:59:25Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I joined a Young Widows’ Support Group (now there’s a club nobody wanted to join) and one of the other ladies - upon venturing outside for the 1st time for cat food & toilet paper - encountered one of those “Smile!! You should smile, lady, whatssamatta with you?!?” assholes. He was ringing up her purchases & actually left. his. register. to chase after her some more. “Seriously, you really should smile!! Your whole day will be brighter!!” She was absolutely obliterated by the ordeal. I’m a little shocked he was able to leave his register after she throat punched him, then I realized she must be a saint. I tried to be pretty patient with people while I was grieving because most are just at a loss, but that would have sent me over the edge. May running coach never encounter anyone quite so clueless. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/167 "2018-02-24T23:01:07Z")
Like everybody else, running coach, I’m so sorry. Whatever you can think of that we can do, just say it! And I’m sorry these days are difficult. But you only have to get through each one of them once. I hope it works well for you, whatever that may mean. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2018, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/168 "2018-02-24T23:29:24Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > The cats have been squabbling a bit and sleeping in her room at times besides being more clingy than usual. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2018, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/169 "2018-02-25T01:28:22Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2018, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/170 "2018-02-25T21:02:30Z")
So sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2018, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/171 "2018-02-25T23:58:20Z")
So sorry to hear about your loss, **running coach**. You have my sincerest sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/172 "2018-02-26T02:36:18Z")
I am so very sorry for your loss, **running coach.** ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/173 "2018-02-26T02:51:43Z")
“I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love.” -Leo Buscaglia My condolences to you and your family, **running coach**. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/174 "2018-02-26T03:08:01Z")
Condolences don’t cover it. I am sorry for the loss and the necessary adjustment to a new lifestyle without the partner you love. We are here for you. Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/175 "2018-02-26T03:27:21Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2018, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/176 "2018-02-26T03:31:31Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. You have honored her by sharing your story. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_Full\_of\_Neutrality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7ab992/32.png) [@Heart\_Full\_of\_Neutrality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_Full_of_Neutrality)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2018, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/177 "2018-02-27T02:36:50Z")
I am sorry for your loss. Add my name to the many, many others who are holding you in their thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2018, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/178 "2018-02-28T00:29:02Z")
Sorry to hear about this, **running coach**. I hope you’re doing okay. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2018, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/179 "2018-02-28T02:24:26Z")
I’m so very, very sorry. I’m glad you enjoyed a happy life together. Love really does make all the difference. May your heart find peace. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2018, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-has-died/809268/180 "2018-03-01T13:28:53Z")
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