# My Wife Is Beating Her Meat As I Write! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311 "2011-10-02T00:36:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/1 "2011-10-02T00:36:56Z")
Actually just tenderizing the flank steaks for the Rolladen she’s going to cook for our Oktoberfest party tomorrow. 🙂 Rolladen and Kartoffel-Knödel with sauce and Sauerkraut. I will be grilling Bratwursts Nürnberger and Türinger Art. The beer (among others) is Kölsh and was damned expensive to get here in Georgia. The thread title came about when I yelled from back here (our combination art studio - hers not mine - computer room, “Honey can I help you with anything?” “No, Sweetie”, came the reply accompanied by heavy banging. “I’m just beating my meat!” God, I love this woman!!!:D:D:D I sure wish y’all could make it tomorrow! **Chefguy** , you especially need to be here to critique the meal! 😉 Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/2 "2011-10-02T00:40:35Z")
It’s a treat to beat your meat in the Mississippi heat. Bon Appetit! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/3 "2011-10-02T00:46:57Z")
She has a clitoris the size of a kielbasa! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/4 "2011-10-02T00:53:28Z")
Columbus isn’t THAT far from you…what time should I be there? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/5 "2011-10-02T01:15:47Z")
We start at 3 pm, and you are MORE than welcome! In fact, we’d be honored! I’ll pm you directions, k’ Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/6 "2011-10-02T01:18:21Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > She has a clitoris the size of a kielbasa! Oooooh, **John**! I’m tellin’ on youuuuuuu! 😉 So how do you know this, meng? Been down here and with her when I wasn’t lookin’? 😃 You’re another one that needs to be here. You and da **Roomie**! 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/7 "2011-10-02T02:00:07Z")
It’s no problem for us to prepare for additional guests, of course, but Dondra (who isn’t feeling her best, and is having surgery in a week or so) has been working all day (as have I) to get everything ready for tomorrow. Please don’t take the invitation as a joke. It isn’t meant that way. Bill ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/8 "2011-10-02T02:26:52Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Oooooh, **John**! I’m tellin’ on youuuuuuu! 😉 It’s not my fault. I’m incorrigible. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/9 "2011-10-02T02:29:41Z")
Meaning you can’t be corrugated, right, **John**?🙂 Man! I have GOT to be more selective choosing my friends! 😉 Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/10 "2011-10-02T03:50:07Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > It’s a treat to beat your meat in the Mississippi heat. > > Bon Appetit! Danke, sehr! (thank you very much)! 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/11 "2011-10-02T05:55:23Z")
If you don’t beat your meat, how can you have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t beat your meat?! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/12 "2011-10-02T13:20:44Z")
What’s the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it’ll die. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/13 "2011-10-02T13:25:53Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > “No, Sweetie”, came the reply accompanied by heavy banging. “I’m just beating my meat!” Women _really do_ need more stimulation than men to get going. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/14 "2011-10-02T14:41:20Z")
Awesome, **Q**! My husband and I throw our Oktoberfest party late, typically the day before Columbus Day; we invite a lot of his postal worker coworkers, and they all have that Monday off. I’m making sauerbraten like usual, another friend is bringing spaetzle, one friend is bringing Lithuanian sausage and sauerkraut (we’re accepting of all close-enough cuisines, and it’s from his grandma’s recipe), etc. I think I’m also making red cabbage and apples, and probably a mushroom gravy. We’ll be having lots more food, and of course, beer and the Bears game. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/15 "2011-10-02T14:56:48Z")
It’s Sunday morning and we’re getting ready for our guests. The Rolladen got cooked last night (and it was _me_ beating the meat- Dondra just isn’t feeling well and I feel so bad for putting her through this, so I took care of that part) and everything else is a “go”. I put a Bavarian flag on the mailbox, and in a few minutes will be going to get the ice to chill the beer and wine. So we’re all set to go. The only thing missing is y’all, and I _mean_ that! You have no idea how great it would be to welcome my Doper buds into our home! **Ferret Herder** , I miss you in the WoW thread, Hon! Your party sounds like _the_ place to be, **FH!!!** If you do parties the way you play WoW, I know it will **rock!** Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/16 "2011-10-02T16:12:23Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > My Wife Is Beating Her Meat As I Write! Like a motherfuck? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/17 "2011-10-02T18:32:09Z")
Kinda! 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/18 "2011-10-02T20:35:58Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > **Ferret Herder** , I miss you in the WoW thread, Hon! > > Your party sounds like _the_ place to be, **FH!!!** If you do parties the way you play WoW, I know it will **rock!** Aw, I quit playing - it was too much like work. Maybe I’ll start up again at some point. My husband is grinding away, trying newbie characters and still having some fun. Came home today with 10 lbs of top round roast for the sauerbraten; I’ll start marinating in a couple days and then maybe throw it in the slow cooker late Saturday, cook it on low overnight to have it ready for the party. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/19 "2011-10-03T01:38:14Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > If you don’t beat your meat, how can you have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t beat your meat?! Sorry, but this one deserves a **ROTFLMAO!!!** [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/iEWgs6YQR9A/hqdefault.jpg "ROFLMAO! - World of Warcraft (WoW) Machinima by Oxhorn") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEWgs6YQR9A) Thank you, **lone cashew**! You just rocked my day!:D:D:D Quasi ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311/20 "2011-10-03T02:24:31Z")
Prost, Quasi!!! Although I haven’t eaten any kind of meat for many years, if I was to ever again decide to tuck into a carnivorous meal again, my Mom’s homemade Rollauden would be my 1st choice… Have a Kolsh for me, and I will have to made due with choking down a few 3.2% Pabst Blue Ribbons; I am in Utah afterall…:smack: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-beating-her-meat-as-i-write/598311.md?page=2)