# My wife is dying \[Edited: RIP\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2020, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745 "2020-08-10T21:42:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/61 "2020-08-11T10:39:39Z")
My condolences, **silenus**. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Crap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.crap/32/3131_2.png) [@Dr.Crap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Crap)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/62 "2020-08-11T11:16:57Z")
I’m so sorry, silenus. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/63 "2020-08-11T11:20:05Z")
I am so, so sorry, man. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/64 "2020-08-11T11:28:36Z")
Just read of you and your family’s sorrow and I am heartbroken. I wish you all peace. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/65 "2020-08-11T12:06:21Z")
That truly and most profoundly sucks, **silenus,** _HUGS_ Add mine to the bunch of prayers being said for you. I know this has also been said, but if you need to talk, HMU. My spouse died less than a year ago… I know what I know. Please tell her we are thinking of you both. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/66 "2020-08-11T12:54:27Z")
May the remaining hours find you gathered close, and in your time of grieving, may you and your loved be of comfort and strength to one another. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/67 "2020-08-11T12:55:43Z")
I’m very sorry, **silenus**. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/68 "2020-08-11T13:03:15Z")
Oh, God, I am SO SORRY!!! Your heart must be breaking! 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 ---
**Author:** ![Tomyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@Tomyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomyros)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/69 "2020-08-11T13:36:32Z")
I am so sorry, I have been there. The wisdom I found was just live in the NOW…lie in the bed with her and cuddle, read some of her favorite books to her, she will hear your voice and even if she can’t reply she will know she is surrounded by love. Allow yourself to cry like a baby when you need to. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/70 "2020-08-11T14:09:25Z")
Have I mentioned how much I love you people? So many who have gone through this have offered their numbers to call for support. Thank you. I will most assuredly take you all up on it. 7am, August 11, 2020. She is still hanging in, but everything is shutting down. Family is here, and more are arriving today to stay with me for a few weeks. The initial panic planning has subsided a bit. Many have said from personal experience to not make any major decisions for at least 6 months to a year. I am going to embrace that advice. I have the cats, and we were talking about getting a dog anyway. With travel off the table for the foreseeable future, I think a dog might be good therapy (as well as keeping the cats on their toes!) If this starts getting bloggy, call me on it. Everybody doesn’t need to read that glurge. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/71 "2020-08-11T14:16:38Z")
I am sorry. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/72 "2020-08-11T14:20:37Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > If this starts getting bloggy, call me on it. Everybody doesn’t need to read that glurge. Oh hell, don’t even worry about it. You _know_ we read much worse every day. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/73 "2020-08-11T14:35:27Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > If this starts getting bloggy, call me on it. Everybody doesn’t need to read that glurge. Yeah man - you’re starting to bore me - and THAT oughta be at the top of your concerns right now! (Intended as ridiculous as it comes across.) Whatever little bit makes things minimally more bearable at this time, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Old\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecccb3/32.png) [@Old\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Old_Wench)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/74 "2020-08-11T14:36:58Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > 7am, August 11, 2020. She is still hanging in, but everything is shutting down. Family is here, and more are arriving today to stay with me for a few weeks. The initial panic planning has subsided a bit. Many have said from personal experience to not make any major decisions for at least 6 months to a year. I am going to embrace that advice. I have the cats, and we were talking about getting a dog anyway. With travel off the table for the foreseeable future, I think a dog might be good therapy (as well as keeping the cats on their toes!) I’m very sorry to read about this. My husband (Kopek a/k/a Ruble on the MMP) died in February and the people here were (and still are) incredibly supportive. Cry whenever you need to - I haven’t had a day yet when I haven’t cried. There’s no timetable for this kind of thing. I agree with the advice to not make major decisions for the first year or so. The only major decision I made so far was to get a cat (which we had talked about doing), and then recently added a second cat. It’s been very good therapy for me because I have to get up and take care of them, and just watching them and loving on them has helped me tremendously. If you go ahead with a new dog, I hope he/she does the same for you. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/75 "2020-08-11T14:37:23Z")
Oh man, I’m really sorry to hear this, **silenus**. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling right now, but if it helps, then post here and tell us about it, no matter how bloggy it seems. That’s what we’re here for. Wishing you all the best for the painful times now and the difficult times ahead. I hope you’ll hang around and let everyone here help you through it. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/76 "2020-08-11T14:41:47Z")
I’m sorry to hear of this silenus. The end is never easy, and it can sometimes be excruciatingly long before the body finally gives out. Feel free to blog away. We’re here. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/77 "2020-08-11T14:46:38Z")
I’m so sorry this is happening, silenus. My nightmare is for my S.O. to die before me. If there is anything I could do to help, let me know. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/78 "2020-08-11T14:51:01Z")
That’s it exactly. I was expecting her to be there in my old age to take care of me. So much for that idea! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/79 "2020-08-11T14:55:36Z")
I’m going to go home after work and give my gf a hug. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745/80 "2020-08-11T14:57:37Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I should probably contact **Johnny\_LA** and let him know I’m moving in next door. 😃 Damn, **silenus** , I’m sorry to hear about your wife. Can you sneak the cats into the hospital? They don’t know what’s happening; only that something is Wrong. ☹ I never know what to say in these situations. When this sort of thing happens to me, I just withdraw. But know that you are in my thoughts. I live four miles below the Canadian border, on the coast. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-dying-edited-rip/917745.md?page=5)