# My wife is giving up. (Long, boring, bloggy) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249 "2013-06-18T04:26:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/41 "2013-06-18T14:31:19Z")
So tell me, while we’re on the subject… In the internet age, I would have assumed that graphic design and page design and things in this area (basically: Arranging elements in visually pleasing and effective ways) is a growth industry, and that someone with at least a modicum of talent could always find work. But do I assume incorrectly? (Possible defeater: I am afraid we may be discovering that “talent” in this area is a lot more widespread than it may have seemed in the pre-internet age, as the tools become more and more widely available, making it not so easy to find work after all…) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/42 "2013-06-18T14:46:40Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > So tell me, while we’re on the subject… In the internet age, I would have assumed that graphic design and page design and things in this area (basically: Arranging elements in visually pleasing and effective ways) is a growth industry, and that someone with at least a modicum of talent could always find work. But do I assume incorrectly? (Possible defeater: I am afraid we may be discovering that “talent” in this area is a lot more widespread than it may have seemed in the pre-internet age, as the tools become more and more widely available, making it not so easy to find work after all…) That was true twenty years ago. Now a lot of the layouts are templates and images are stock, and there is less need for artists on the other end. Someone still needs to make decisions, but it isn’t a page by page creation process on larger sites. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/43 "2013-06-18T14:47:25Z")
Very busy here today so gotta keep it short. First. IMO the folks giving the OP grief are IMO being “less than pleasant” to put it nicely. Second, for the OP. Does she have or could have a hobby unrelated at first glance to photography? Whitewater rafting? Rock climbing? Birding? Gardening? Scuba diving? Camping? Hiking? Stamp Collecting? Whatever? The reason I ask, is if she “has an eye” for taking photo’s, combining being good at taking photos with a hobby she enjoys is IMO a damn good way to get some real satisfaction outa life, if not actually earning some money. Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/44 "2013-06-18T15:12:20Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > So tell me, while we’re on the subject… In the internet age, I would have assumed that graphic design and page design and things in this area (basically: Arranging elements in visually pleasing and effective ways) is a growth industry, and that someone with at least a modicum of talent could always find work. But do I assume incorrectly? (Possible defeater: I am afraid we may be discovering that “talent” in this area is a lot more widespread than it may have seemed in the pre-internet age, as the tools become more and more widely available, making it not so easy to find work after all…) Nope. The actual choosing of colors and laying stuff out in a mockup is about 1/80th the work put in to a large site. Maybe about 1/20th of a very small site. If there’s 50000 pages on a site, you still probably only had to lay out like, 4. If there was someone on a team that could do nothing but choose colors and put stuff in the right place, they’d be awful bored for the rest of the hundreds of hours the team is spending on a project. You have to be a designer who can program, or a programmer who can design, or a designer who can do both print and web, or a designer who can do SEO. Gotta have something to do once the design is set. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/45 "2013-06-18T15:33:46Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Nope. The actual choosing of colors and laying stuff out in a mockup is about 1/80th the work put in to a large site. Maybe about 1/20th of a very small site. If there’s 50000 pages on a site, you still probably only had to lay out like, 4. If there was someone on a team that could do nothing but choose colors and put stuff in the right place, they’d be awful bored for the rest of the hundreds of hours the team is spending on a project. > > You have to be a designer who can program, or a programmer who can design, or a designer who can do both print and web, or a designer who can do SEO. Gotta have something to do once the design is set. Yes. As the webmaster/content manager at my workplace, I can tell you that web development and design go hand in hand and it’s much more of a technical process than an artistic one. You do want things looking pretty, but it’s critical everything function properly, and on a large site, that requires a significant amount of technical knowledge which is far beyond the scope of choosing colors and creating a layout. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/46 "2013-06-18T15:45:41Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Thanks for the kind and encouraging words, everyone. > > **Astro** , your post is completely wrongheaded. To put it very succinctly: I haven’t “encouraged” her in the sense you mention, rather, I have _supported_ her. I have not pushed her into anything, in fact, quite the opposite. It is she who took the initiative a year or two ago to remind me, in what we shall term a pointed conversation, that in her opinion, I owe her eight years of “dream following.” And nowhere in my post do I imply that this is about her becoming a “successful pro photographer” while remaining “a full time mother with small kids.” My post was careful to explain that the idea she was going for had a lot of flexibility built into it and did not presume a career as a professional photographer, indeed, did not presume a future _career_ at all. You have not read my post for comprehension, and instead seem to have imported a lot of uncharitable and incorrect assumptions into–whatever it is you were doing instead of actually reading the post. I read your post just fine. Re > [@](#): > > My wife is giving up. > [@](#): > > So. > > The end of it is this: She’s giving up on her dream. She will not pursue it. She has determined that it would be foolish to do so. And she has nothing to replace it. And I don’t know what to do. And neither do you. But there is literally not one person in the world that I can discuss this with (other than her, and not right now) and I feel compelled to write about it, just to think it through, just to get a handle on what’s happening. > > This is defeat. This just oozes your disappointment in her and her decision. Honestly, I refrained from mentioning it earlier, but you really seem to be utterly missing the point here. The “dyscalculia” excuse is an obvious fig leaf to get you to back off and leave her alone about her decision. Do you seriously not see this? Wherever she thought it was going to lead she just doesn’t want to do this anymore. It’s a big time sink and lots of women with kids look at their lives and determine quite common-sensically that they can’t juggle all this stuff, or (and this may be relevant in your scenario) even if they could they just don’t want to. You act like some golden child has died and she really just wants out. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/47 "2013-06-18T16:11:40Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > So tell me, while we’re on the subject… In the internet age, I would have assumed that graphic design and page design and things in this area (basically: Arranging elements in visually pleasing and effective ways) is a growth industry, and that someone with at least a modicum of talent could always find work. But do I assume incorrectly? Let me put it this way. I know several people personally with degrees in graphic design. Not one of them has ever been employed as a graphic designer or anything even close to being a graphic designer. While I have no formal training myself I do have a decent eye and did graphics, photo editing, and web design for the student paper when I was in college, but no one has ever offered me money to do these things. If we need a flier or something at work I’ll often be the one to do it, but that’s not actually my job and my design skills weren’t even a factor in my hiring. I imagine that most offices already employ someone like me who could put together an okay looking flier, etc., for free if asked. There are obviously people who do get paid to do graphic design, but those people have more than just a little talent. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/48 "2013-06-18T16:13:04Z")
I have to say that I agree with **astro** , at least regarding the dramatic tone you’re taking over the whole situation. The biggest thing that jumped out at me is her feeling that she’s “owed” 8 years of following her dream. Any relationship that operates on that kind of ledger (you get x, so I’d better get y) is on rocky ground to begin with, and this kind of stress can’t be helping either one of you. I have a good friend that loved photography as a hobby and decided she wanted to be a professional photographer and so she jumped in and did it. No formal training, not a super-bright person to be honest, but she’s building up a pretty solid career mostly doing wedding photography. She has a great eye for it and has just learned the “tricks” of the trade by practice and taking various training courses here and there. It’s a passion that has led to a career. It sounds like your wife is trying to force it the other way around a little bit - trying to make a career out of something that hasn’t necessarily been a passion. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/49 "2013-06-18T16:16:58Z")
> [@astro](#): > > This just oozes your disappointment in her and her decision. Honestly, I refrained from mentioning it earlier, but you really seem to be utterly missing the point here. The “dyscalculia” excuse is an obvious fig leaf to get you to back off and leave her alone about her decision. Do you seriously not see this? Gawd. Who pissed in your cheerios this morning? The way I read it Frylock is upset that his wife is upset. He’s NOT pissed off she isn’t pursuing her dream and raking in the big bucks. Maybe she IS looking for an excuse. The again, maybe not. But quit trying to make the OP look like the jerk here. At worst he isn’t reading the situation right. At best (and IMO much more likely) he is a husband who is upset that his wife is unhappy (which last I heard was actually a good thing…unless I missed the latest memo). ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_I\_Am](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/50 "2013-06-18T16:22:46Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Well in our case it’s not that we have a general idea that we have a right to pursue our dreams, it’s that she explicitly gave up on a lot of things she was hoping for in order to enable me to pursue mine, and now that she’s ready to take “her turn,” she’s finding out (it turns out) it’s not going to work. As well as the disappointment and discouragement I mentioned, she also feels cheated. (Not by me, but by life.) > > Well anyway, you’re right, the standard order of events is one meets disappointment, and one plugs along, and things happen and doors open and you don’t end up doing what you planned but you make a good life anyway. Yes yes. > > Right now, though, where she sees herself is here —\> Unskilled, no recent work experience, the things she’s talented at and enjoys are not marketable, likely to fail at the things she’d really like to do, and failure will cost too much to justify the attempt. > > There’s also this undercurrent. She would not condemn someone for choosing to be a stay at home mom. But this simply isn’t in keeping with her self image. She’s a good one and the kids are turning out awesome. But she hates it and does not respect herself for it. And then of course, feels super guilty for thinking that way. > > So anyway, you guys can see there are depths to the despair here. It’s not just disappointment at a single setback. This is a real crisis, and I don’t know whether there’s anything I can do to help. And as I said in the OP, neither do you, I know that. I wouldn’t presume to “diagnose” what is going on, from a distance, and through a 3rd party, but regardless of what IS going on, I think she would benefit from a counselor or someone to work it through with. It sounds like she has been sacrificing herself for a long time, for the betterment of the whole family. At some point that ceases to be unpleasant, and instead becomes the safe, comfortable option and then it is damn hard to break away from. When you are in that place of self-sacrifice, then the whole issue of success vs failure is in someone else’s hands - you are just helping that other person. But to stop sacrificing yourself, and put yourself forward, then you are bringing those issues to yourself. I wonder if you could get her to agree, regardless of ultimate “success” or “failure”, that she should choose what seems like a likely path and follow it for some period of time (a couple of years?) and that together (& hopefully with a 3rd party) you will address all the issues that come up? View it that success = simply trying it regardless of outcome. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/51 "2013-06-18T16:34:07Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > And now, for the past couple of months, she’s been reading up on photography stuff, has even enrolled in a class, and she is coming to realize: To be any actual good at this, there is no way she’ll be able to wing it and fake it with written notes. She needs to know all these numbers and procedures, and she needs to know them by heart, with immediate recall. I’m not going to encourage or discourage your wife, but she may be overstating the importance of this in her head, especially depending on what kind of photography your wife is interested in doing. She doesn’t need to know the exact mathematical relationships between f/stops and shutter speeds and ISOs and things like that. She has to understand conceptually how they work together, but it’s not like any photographer instantly knows that f/11 at ISO 100 at 1/250 sec is an equivalent exposure to f/5.6 at ISO 400 at 1/5000 sec. The eye, being able to relate to your subject and coax out expressions and make them feel at ease, and things like that are, IMHO, the difficult part of photography. The technique is important, but these days as long as you have an idea of what lens you want to use and what depth of field you want, the camera can figure out all the other stuff for you. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn how and why those things work, but there’s plenty of great photographers who shoot in one of the automatic exposure modes. At any rate, almost everyone I know (including myself) working in an artistic field or pursuit occasionally has these “I suck, I’m going to be exposed as a fraud” moments. This doesn’t mean that your wife’s assessment of her abilities is incorrect, or that it’s just a phase, but it’s not unusual for people of talent, even great and obvious talent, to get really down on their work. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/52 "2013-06-18T17:00:59Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I read your post just fine. > > This just oozes your disappointment in her and her decision. Honestly, I refrained from mentioning it earlier, but you really seem to be utterly missing the point here. The “dyscalculia” excuse is an obvious fig leaf to get you to back off and leave her alone about her decision. Do you seriously not see this? > > Wherever she thought it was going to lead she just doesn’t want to do this anymore. It’s a big time sink and lots of women with kids look at their lives and determine quite common-sensically that they can’t juggle all this stuff, or (and this may be relevant in your scenario) even if they could they just don’t want to. > > You act like some golden child has died and she really just wants out. Astro, this is so stupid. I don’t bring these things up with her. She brings them up with me. This is her project, she informs me of what she is going to do, we discuss logistics. You are assuming otherwise, but you have no reason to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/53 "2013-06-18T17:02:05Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Let me put it this way. I know several people personally with degrees in graphic design. Not one of them has ever been employed as a graphic designer or anything even close to being a graphic designer This (and similar information contained in several other posts on the topic) is very good to know. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/54 "2013-06-18T17:14:59Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > This (and similar information contained in several other posts on the topic) is very good to know. On the flip side, my brother went to school for graphic design and, well, he’s a graphic designer. (Plus several college classmates, but they were mostly in newspaper design fields, although some moved to commercial graphics.) I didn’t go to school for photography, but I am a photographer. The reason I say I neither encourage nor discourage her is because it is a difficult profession to get into and everybody and their dog thinks they could be a photographer because someone told them they took good pictures and they just bought a fancy camera. There’s obviously a lot more to it than that. If she is a reasonable photographer (what kind of photography does she do?) it’s most business skills that will make or break photography as a career, not raw talent. A mediocre photographer with phenomenal business skills can do quite well. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/55 "2013-06-18T17:48:14Z")
So in a nutshell she thinks she’s a failure destined to fail and fears further failure? With a big dose of guilt stirred in? I’m going to agree with the folks who say she’d benefit from some kind of counseling before deciding what next. She’s understandably bummed out right now but needs to get her head straight to look at her options objectively. The negativity is going to be a killer if she’s going to be applying for jobs (“Why am I doing this? I have no skills beyond cooking mac & cheese and singing along with Handy Manny. They’ll never hire me!”) or going to school for something else (“Why bother? I couldn’t handle the photography thing; this isn’t going any better so I’ll just quit before we sink any more money into this.”) Also, once she starts working, since you can’t afford daycare, she’ll still have to watch the kids while you’re at work, then go to work herself, and not have _any_ free time? That’s… daunting. I don’t know how old your kids are, but is there any way you can farm them out (family member, afterschool program) at least a couple times a week? Remember, once she’s working you’re gonna be the one riding herd on them when she’s not there and you’re probably going to be wanting a break yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/56 "2013-06-18T17:51:23Z")
Counseling… This costs money, correct? How much? ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/57 "2013-06-18T18:07:33Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Thanks for the kind and encouraging words, everyone. > > **Astro** , your post is completely wrongheaded. To put it very succinctly: I haven’t “encouraged” her in the sense you mention, rather, I have _supported_ her. I have not pushed her into anything, in fact, quite the opposite. It is she who took the initiative a year or two ago to remind me, in what we shall term a pointed conversation, that in her opinion, I owe her eight years of “dream following.” And nowhere in my post do I imply that this is about her becoming a “successful pro photographer” while remaining “a full time mother with small kids.” My post was careful to explain that the idea she was going for had a lot of flexibility built into it and did not presume a career as a professional photographer, indeed, did not presume a future _career_ at all. You have not read my post for comprehension, and instead seem to have imported a lot of uncharitable and incorrect assumptions into–whatever it is you were doing instead of actually reading the post. > > Anyone who agreed with you deserves a similar criticism. You guys are jerks. > > As to whether the reasons she gave last night are the “real” reasons, of course one can’t help but speculate about that, but in the end, the facts are, she has determined this is not happening, and so it is not happening. It can’t be my place to question her reasons. (To do so would be to do that “pushing” thing certain people accused me of upthread.) > > She is discouraged (this is too weak a word, but “hopeless” seems to strong) by what she perceives as the possibility that she is not, after all, going to end up living a life that she herself finds respectable. That _this_ is what she feels like she is facing is what had me so upset last night, though as you can see only now have I managed to put the problem so clearly into words. I’m sorry but I read it the same way they did and had the same reaction. I realize it wasn’t your intent but it’s how you presented it that got the reaction it got. Especially the “this is defeat” part. It’s not defeat to make a choice. Dreams are a dime a dozen for most people. Hell I wanted to be a writer for over twenty years before I realized I have no talent, and that’s after dozens of manuscripts I could never show anyone because all I saw were flaws I didn’t have the skills to repair. So she’s letting go of a dream. She’s not giving anything up, she’s giving herself time to come up with a new dream worth pursuing. And her next dream may be very mundane or totally extreme. But it will be her choice to pursue it or let it go. You’re a good partner for worrying about her, but you’re so negative about it going by your comments. Just supportively let her do her thing, whatever that thing is (within reason of course!), and everything will be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/58 "2013-06-18T18:13:22Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Counseling… > > This costs money, correct? How much? Depends on who you see and what kind of insurance you have. It may be possible for your wife to see a counselor for whatever your usual specialist co-pay is. Some also offer a sliding scale fee. If your wife is currently enrolled in college courses then she may have access to counseling services on campus for no additional charge. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/59 "2013-06-18T18:13:48Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I’m sorry but I read it the same way they did and had the same reaction. I realize it wasn’t your intent but it’s how you presented it that got the reaction it got. No, this is incorrect. The text of the OP does not support Astro’s reading. You have misunderstood either the OP or Astro’s post. > [@](#): > > Especially the “this is defeat” part. It’s not defeat to make a choice. How this is relevant to what you just said is not clear at all. (It leads me to suspect it is Astro’s post which you have not read correctly.) But as for the claim you’re making about the phrase “this is defeat,” the idea being conveyed is that a long process of planning and hope-setting has come to naught, and the person who made the plans and set the hopes (namely, my wife) feels this as a great loss, and I sympathetically feel the same. > [@](#): > > So she’s letting go of a dream. She’s not giving anything up, she’s giving herself time to come up with a new dream worth pursuing. With all due respect, “duh.” This is how I had tried to frame it with her as well. But it is not how she sees it. Not right now. And she is right to observe that it is presently very difficult to see viable alternatives that do not involve her doing things she will hate doing without meaningful compensation–possibly for a very long time. Possibly with no end in sight. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249/60 "2013-06-18T18:21:12Z")
Hey guys, on re-reading the posts of those who claim to share **Astro’s** view, it seems to me you guys are focusing on the “you’re overreacting” aspect of that view. That _particular_ point is fair IMO. But it is far from the entirety of what Astro said, and is not even particularly central to his point. I find agreement with his post _overall_ to be positively repugnant. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-giving-up-long-boring-bloggy/661249.md?page=4)