# my wife is leaving **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2009, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402 "2009-08-05T08:43:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/41 "2009-08-05T14:26:10Z")
That sucks, Skald. It really does. Take care of yourself and don’t worry about her; you’re the most important person in your life right now. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/42 "2009-08-05T14:31:01Z")
Sucks, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/43 "2009-08-05T14:32:31Z")
Hangovers are just as miserable as everybody always says. At least my policy on not getting drunk has been prover correct. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/44 "2009-08-05T14:36:48Z")
God. I don’t post often in your threads, but I read your posts regularly, and. . .god. That sucks. That really, really sucks. I’m sorry, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/45 "2009-08-05T14:37:41Z")
That’s bad, Skald. My sympathies. And to channel a quote from Vayikra (Leviticus) – Would she want you to leave her because of the imbalance of faith? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/46 "2009-08-05T14:38:42Z")
> [@Svejk\_1](#): > > I think there’s plenty of quotes from the big book that could support **Skald**. Still, I think that finding arguments in the Bible is kind of stooping to a lower level. People should stay together because they love each other, and leave each other if they don’t - and not because of what the Bible says. ^ This. Religion shouldn’t be used to break people up, but it shouldn’t be used to make them stay together, either. ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/47 "2009-08-05T14:39:17Z")
Oh, fucking hell. I’m so sorry. It’s always been obvious from your posts how much you love her. ☹ My husband up and left me without warning in January, so I know what it’s like. Late at night your mind will churn wondering what you did wrong. Hold onto the thought that it’s not you, it’s her issue. It won’t stop it from hurting, but it eventually helps you sleep. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/48 "2009-08-05T14:40:49Z")
I’m so sorry to hear this, **Skald**. What a rotten situation. I do agree with the folks above that you should try to fight for your marriage and point out that her actions are completely unbiblical and against what Jesus actually taught. This may also be a symptom of her emotional difficulties more than of her new religious beliefs. I actually have a friend who is going through something very similar right now. It’s the most pointless, senseless, awful thing. It seems to be a mix of emotional/mental disturbance fueling bizarre actions justified by bad theology and a pastor who is willing to help her deceive her husband. Her mom turned into a different 30 years ago too. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/49 "2009-08-05T14:42:16Z")
Platitudes from a stranger probably won’t help you very much, but I’ll say them anyway. You have my deepest sympathies. I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/50 "2009-08-05T14:42:46Z")
Bummer, my friend. That’s gonna hurt, and for a while. Still, _aurë entuluva_! Day shall come again! ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/51 "2009-08-05T14:48:56Z")
Sorry to hear that but fuck that bitch. You don’t need to be married to some depressed happiness-sink where you can never do enough to make her feel good about anything and who needs the endless love of some crazy church cult to fullfill her. Go find a woman you can share your life with. Not one who you need to dedicate your life to fixing. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/52 "2009-08-05T14:49:57Z")
**Skald** , man, I am so sorry to hear that. You deserve better. But put me in the camp that suggests that there might be a deeper underlying issue going on here. Have you given any thought to (secular) counselling? ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/53 "2009-08-05T14:55:18Z")
I’m so sorry, Skald. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/54 "2009-08-05T14:55:50Z")
I’m so sorry, **Skald.** Please take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/55 "2009-08-05T14:56:28Z")
I’m sorry, Skald. I wish I could say more. StG ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/56 "2009-08-05T15:04:30Z")
I agree with the others here–it is a misuse of Christ’s teachings to use religion to drive apart husband and wife. Suggest to her about seeing a Christian marriage counselor together. Even if it is one recommended by her church or pastor, the counselor’s goal will be to preserve your marriage. **Skald** , find someone you can talk to for yourself. While we Dopers can be supportive, face-to-face communication is much better for emotional support. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/57 "2009-08-05T15:05:22Z")
I am just a stranger on the other side of your monitor, but I always read and enjoy your posts. I am not good at keeping track of my fellow posters’ private lives and posting styles, but I think of you of someone who was very proud of his own redemption. Don’t lose that. Don’t do anything rash, and live up to the fact that atheist =/= bad. Breaking up any relationship is uncomfortable, breaking up this kind of relationship is hell. I know, the wounds are deep and they bleed for a long time. One day you feel like it’s all over, the next you feel like throwing up, like screaming, like hurting yourself. Don’t give up. You will come out the other end, you will be a better person, and you _will be_ stronger. And the best advice I can give you: take up boxing, running, long-distance swimming, anything (constructive) that hurts physically is good. The physical pain dulls the internal pain. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/58 "2009-08-05T15:06:35Z")
I’m sorry **Skald**. It gets better. While it sucks, don’t forget you’ve got friends, here and elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/59 "2009-08-05T15:07:17Z")
I’m sorry, **Skald**. ☹ In a small way your story struck close to home because my spouse has recently become much more active in his faith and his church (his family was always religious and he was always a believer, but he never really did much about it beyond reading the Bible occasionally). I worry sometimes that he might do the same thing since I’ve been moving away from religion (I was raised Christian…these days I guess I’m more an agnostic than an atheist, but I don’t join him in going to church), but he seems to have the attitude that many of the posters here have mentioned: a rather cheerful certainty that I’ll “see the light” one of these days, but he’s not at all pushy about it. I also agree with those who said that if you love her, don’t give up on her yet. But if it doesn’t work out, don’t give up on yourself, either. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402/60 "2009-08-05T15:07:39Z")
That really stinks, **Skald** - but hang in there! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-is-leaving/505402.md?page=4)