# My wife "jokes" that she has a penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2013, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618 "2013-08-19T05:31:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/1 "2013-08-19T05:31:11Z")
At least twice now my wife has gone on about how she has a penis… I say things like that I thought I married a woman, etc. Eventually she says that she’s joking. I guess I can’t prevent her from doing this again but it would be good if she never did it again. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Niply\_Elder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@The\_Niply\_Elder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Niply_Elder)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/2 "2013-08-19T05:43:51Z")
Well you could gently let her know that it bothers you. It is after all somewhat sexist and demeaning. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_York](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_York](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_York)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/3 "2013-08-19T05:44:36Z")
Maybe old Sigmund was on track with his “penis envy” theory. BTW, when she says she’s joking, do you say, “Thank God for that” Or " I know". ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/4 "2013-08-19T06:06:42Z")
> [@Duke\_of\_York](#): > > …BTW, when she says she’s joking, do you say, “Thank God for that” > Or " I know". I’m more on the “thank God for that” track. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/5 "2013-08-19T06:19:37Z")
Any good come-backs? e.g. “You sure do have a penis… my penis” ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/6 "2013-08-19T06:20:43Z")
Are you sure this is just not her way of calling you a dick? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/7 "2013-08-19T06:26:39Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Are you sure this is just not her way of calling you a dick? Well sometimes she goes on to say “I was born with a penis”. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/8 "2013-08-19T06:48:18Z")
She’s not from Thailand by any chance, is she? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/9 "2013-08-19T07:00:53Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > She’s not from Thailand by any chance, is she? No BTW in the past before we had sex I fingered her a few times. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/10 "2013-08-19T07:21:34Z")
**enters the thread with a latex catsuit on and rubber nipples** Is this the thread where we all get together and provide John Clay with fodder for his 'talking ‘bout my wife and sexual things’ fetish? I hope I didn’t miss much. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/11 "2013-08-19T07:26:26Z")
Have you actually checked lately? Maybe the “joke” is that she really has one. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/12 "2013-08-19T07:31:11Z")
You hear about such cases. Someone gets married only to discover years later he or she married someone of the same gender. Hilarity ensues. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/13 "2013-08-19T07:37:46Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Have you actually checked lately? Maybe the “joke” is that she really has one. No I haven’t checked lately but she didn’t have anything when I used to finger her… not even a largish clit/labia. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/14 "2013-08-19T08:47:06Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > No BTW in the past before we had sex I fingered her a few times. You … identified her in a police line-up? //(credit to John Hamm) ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/15 "2013-08-19T08:48:32Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > You hear about such cases. Someone gets married only to discover years later he or she married someone of the same gender. Hilarity ensues. Well, in your area maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/16 "2013-08-19T08:57:28Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > You hear about such cases. Someone gets married only to discover years later he or she married someone of the same gender. Hilarity ensues. Well, something ensues. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/17 "2013-08-19T08:57:29Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > You hear about such cases. Someone gets married only to discover years later he or she married someone of the same gender. Hilarity ensues. For a particularly interesting case, check the story of [Bernard Boursicot](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Boursicot). ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/18 "2013-08-19T10:41:43Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Is this the thread where we all get together and provide John Clay with fodder for his 'talking ‘bout my wife and sexual things’ fetish? Judging by his immediately-previous post? Yes, yes it is. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/19 "2013-08-19T10:46:19Z")
You know how people sometimes pre-air difficult news in a humorous context in order to gauge possible reactions? It’s probably not that. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2013, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618/20 "2013-08-19T10:58:28Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > **enters the thread with a latex catsuit on and rubber nipples** I’ve worn a neoprene wet suit for cold weather water sports (boating) and I can’t imagine a suit such as you describe being comfortable and conducive to indoor play activities. Perhaps you could share some photographs displaying the suits use? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-jokes-that-she-has-a-penis/666618.md?page=2)