# My wife likes them long, thick and hard **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 15, 2018, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677 "2018-08-15T18:55:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/1 "2018-08-15T18:55:47Z")
I prefer soft and twisted. You? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/2 "2018-08-15T18:57:40Z")
I go for soft and twisted as well. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/3 "2018-08-15T18:59:27Z")
If we’re talkin’ pretzels here, I like mine big and thick and soft on the inside, with big chunks of salt on the outside and maybe some German mustard dabbled on. Twisted, of course! :o ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/4 "2018-08-15T19:04:48Z")
Hot! With hot sauce. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/5 "2018-08-15T19:16:19Z")
I don’t like pretzels… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/6 "2018-08-15T19:25:13Z")
Lucky for me, my wife likes them short and without much girth…because so do I. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/7 "2018-08-15T19:27:20Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > If we’re talkin’ pretzels here, I like mine big and thick and soft on the inside, with big chunks of salt on the outside and maybe some German mustard dabbled on. > Twisted, of course! :o What else would we be talking about? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/8 "2018-08-15T19:29:22Z")
I know they’re the same but they are like two completely different things. I like my big ones chewy on the outside, soft on the inside with plenty of kosher salt (or even bigger) sprinkled over the top. Maybe a little mustard for dipping. I like my thin, hard ones made with butter. [Yummy Snyder Butter Snaps.](http://www.snydersofhanover.com/products/pretzels/butter-pretzel-snaps.html) I’m glad they got rid of that scary pretzel dominatrix spokeslady. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/9 "2018-08-15T19:38:01Z")
Soft and twisted, with mustard and/or beer cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/10 "2018-08-15T19:41:53Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I know they’re the same but they are like two completely different things. I like my big ones chewy on the outside, soft on the inside with plenty of kosher salt (or even bigger) sprinkled over the top. Maybe a little mustard for dipping. > > I like my thin, hard ones made with butter. [Yummy Snyder Butter Snaps.](http://www.snydersofhanover.com/products/pretzels/butter-pretzel-snaps.html) I’m glad they got rid of that scary pretzel dominatrix spokeslady. Euro style pretzels and bagels are actually not all that different in the making and in consistency. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/11 "2018-08-15T19:43:57Z")
Soft and twisted. Philly style with some mustard. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/12 "2018-08-15T19:49:04Z")
Twisted is nothing more than just _Really Kinky!_ ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/13 "2018-08-15T19:51:15Z")
I get why folks like them, but I’ve just never been into them. It’s bagels for me all the way. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/14 "2018-08-15T20:11:11Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I get why folks like them, but I’ve just never been into them. It’s bagels for me all the way. I could go either way. Personally I like [pretzel bagels](https://www.traderjoes.com/fearless-flyer/article/4015). Does that make me bi-snacksual? ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/15 "2018-08-15T20:11:30Z")
The hard type of pretzels, to me, don’t count as a competitor with the soft type. It’s like asking whether you prefer swimming pools to be frozen for skating. Hard pretzels compete with potato chips. That said, both real pretzels and hard pretzels have their place in life. In both, I would go for “original/normal/stereotypical” - they were invented correctly, no need to mess with them too much. ---
**Author:** ![Rough\_Draft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@Rough\_Draft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rough_Draft)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/16 "2018-08-15T21:17:18Z")
For a long time I thought there was only one kind of pretzel (thin and crunchy), and I hate those. Then finally I went back east and tried a big soft one with mustard and learned what a pretzel’s _supposed_ to taste like. Yum. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/17 "2018-08-15T21:21:56Z")
We’re talking about penises, right? Well, I like MINE…wait, what? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/18 "2018-08-15T21:27:01Z")
Oh, pretzels, is it? Well, I like all kinds. Thick, thin, crispy, and limp. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/19 "2018-08-15T21:39:14Z")
Mmmmmmm…twisted, soft [del]penis[/del] pretzel. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2018, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677/20 "2018-08-15T21:42:48Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I get why folks like them, but I’ve just never been into them. It’s bagels for me all the way. So, you’re saying you’ve “been into bagels”? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-likes-them-long-thick-and-hard/819677.md?page=2)