# my wife thinks im cheating on her, I'M NOT **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2011, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250 "2011-03-28T13:13:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/101 "2011-05-05T17:39:01Z")
> [@classyladyhp](#): > > There has got to be some reason she is thinking this:dubious: Yes. And sometimes that reason is that she’s paranoid. Sincerely, Guy who in a former relationship was accused of cheating weekly because he went on a boys’ night out on Friday, planned out, cleared ahead of time with the girlfriend ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/102 "2011-05-05T17:42:31Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > Yes. And sometimes that reason is that she’s paranoid. > > Sincerely, > Guy who in a former relationship was accused of cheating weekly because he went on a boys’ night out on Friday, planned out, cleared ahead of time with the girlfriend Yes that is possible too. I’m not ruling that out. We only have the OP’s side of the story. there could be another reason why the wife doesn’t trust him though. Or she could be cheating herself. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/103 "2011-05-05T18:11:21Z")
> [@classyladyhp](#): > > You keep believing that. Not everyone is like you. Lot’s of people have healthy relationships after a break-up. It’s not one size fits all. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/104 "2011-05-05T18:16:34Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Not everyone is like you. Lot’s of people have healthy relationships after a break-up. It’s not one size fits all. My best friend is an ex, and she has been nothing but supportive of my subsequent relationships and I of hers. It’s not that uncommon in my experience, although perhaps not the norm. ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/105 "2011-05-05T18:30:57Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Not everyone is like you. Lot’s of people have healthy relationships after a break-up. It’s not one size fits all. Don’t assume. I’ve never broken up with anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/106 "2011-05-05T18:36:05Z")
> [@classyladyhp](#): > > Don’t assume. I’ve never broken up with anyone. I’m not assuming that you have broken up with anyone, but you clearly believe that \*\*no one \*\*can break up with someone and remain friends. You have rigid general view about relationships. ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/107 "2011-05-05T18:47:58Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I’m not assuming that you have broken up with anyone, but you clearly believe that \*\*no one \*\*can break up with someone and remain friends. You have rigid general view about relationships. Yes you are. You wrote that UNLIKE ME lots of peole have healthy relationships with their exes. That implies that I don’t ok? Nice try though. I said it’s not the norm:rolleyes:You’re assuming I have rigid views about relationships. You don’t know me and don’t pretend you can determine what my views are about anything. You’re a complete stranger:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/108 "2011-05-05T19:19:22Z")
> [@classyladyhp](#): > > Yes you are. You wrote that UNLIKE ME lots of peole have healthy relationships with their exes. That implies that I don’t ok? Nice try though. > I said it’s not the norm:rolleyes:You’re assuming I have rigid views about relationships. You don’t know me and don’t pretend you can determine what my views are about anything. You’re a complete stranger:rolleyes: Thanks Kreskin. Did you get your psychic powers along with your psychology degree? Let me show you how the quotey thing works: > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Some people can break up with someone and just be friends. > [@classyladyhp](#): > > You keep believing that. So please tell me what **you** meant by this response to my statement? I don’t want to fail in interpreting your implication, but it would appear to me and I would expect that most people would agree with me that you **don’t** agree with my statement. Not that it’s “not the norm”, but that my statement is false. Notice that my statement is not even an absolute. I said “some people”. My response was: > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Not everyone is like you. Lot’s of people have healthy relationships after a break-up. It’s not one size fits all. What I meant is that not everyone is takes a strict absolute view on relationships like you. That people can have different outcomes in relationships. Hence, my reference to “not one size fits all”. So your statement now that “it’s not the norm” comes across as backpedaling. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/109 "2011-05-05T19:48:03Z")
> [@dmatsch](#): > > Armchair psychologists made sure my 2nd (_ **perfectly fine six months before the message board** _) marriage ended. Not only are they NOT qualified, they have an active Schadenfreude complex in seeing others go through pain. > > . . . Obviously, it wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/110 "2011-05-05T20:14:43Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > It’s not that uncommon in my experience, although perhaps not the norm. In my experience, it’s pretty common, too. I’d say in my circle of friends everyone has at least one ex they still remain in contact with. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/111 "2011-05-05T21:51:00Z")
**Omar Little, classyladyhp** , both of you, if you have a problem with each other, take it to the Pit. **classyladyhp** , you’re new here – we prefer that our members don’t “junior mod” each other by making judgment calls about whether or not they’re following the rules. If you think someone is breaking the rules, report the post (use the triangle with a ! in it) and let a mod sort it out. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/112 "2011-05-05T22:17:56Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Thanks Kreskin. Did you get your psychic powers along with your psychology degree? > > Let me show you how the quotey thing works: > > So please tell me what **you** meant by this response to my statement? I don’t want to fail in interpreting your implication, but it would appear to me and I would expect that most people would agree with me that you **don’t** agree with my statement. Not that it’s “not the norm”, but that my statement is false. Notice that my statement is not even an absolute. I said “some people”. > > My response was: > > What I meant is that not everyone is takes a strict absolute view on relationships like you. That people can have different outcomes in relationships. Hence, my reference to “not one size fits all”. > > So your statement now that “it’s not the norm” comes across as backpedaling. Whatever…I’m done with this conversation. Have a nice day. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/113 "2011-05-05T22:29:07Z")
> [@classyladyhp](#): > > I don’t know why there is a double-post. I didn’t intend to do that. Gosh darn it. I guess I’m not perfect. It’s awesome that you THINK you are though. Did you read the rules of the forum? I believe it said something in the terms of service about not being a jerk. I’ve had that happen to me when I lost my connection, or thought I lost it, and then re-attempted the post. I deleted the later post for you. ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/114 "2011-05-05T22:31:39Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > I’ve had that happen to me when I lost my connection, or thought I lost it, and then re-attempted the post. I deleted the later post for you. Thanks! Much appreciated:D ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/115 "2011-05-06T00:36:18Z")
> [@classyladyhp](#): > > That is great if you were able to do that but I don’t think it’s the norm. I’m good friends with almost all of my exes too. So is my partner. In fact we go camping and travelling with some of our exes and their new partners. It is not at all unusual for people to remain friends after a break up. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250/116 "2011-05-06T00:43:36Z")
I’m still good friends with my ex husband. I’ve recently reestablished a friendship with my ex boyfriend as well. Datapoints! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her-im-not/576250.md?page=5)