# My wife thinks I'm cheating on her. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606 "2010-06-02T04:39:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/101 "2010-06-02T16:45:55Z")
Tell her it’s you got them for her from the [underwear bin](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7mrav_a-guy-thing-underwear-bin_fun). But in all seriousness, another vote for a little understanding of hormonal changes and a recommendation for open, direct communication before you deploy. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/102 "2010-06-02T16:46:26Z")
When my wife and I were first married we inherited a bunch of furniture from our family. The sofa, in particular, came from my sister. She kept a slipcover on it, and when we took it off we found out why. Ugly as sin. So we put a throw over it cause we don’t like slipcovers. Well one day we’re cleaning it and we find a pair of panties wedged down into it. We look at each other, and crack up. Sis maintains she used to fold laundry on it and that’s why they were there. Sure sis, the force of your enthusiastic laundry-folding drove it through the slipcover and into the cushions. Brother-in-law says he has no position on how the panties got there, but he has fond memories of the sofa. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/103 "2010-06-02T16:57:15Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Speaking of hormones, guys have this stuff called testosterone. Makes guys do all sorts of crazy and it’s on all. the. time. Is this actually true? Are all men just constantly surging with testosterone that makes them do crazy things all the time? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/104 "2010-06-02T17:00:12Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’m single at the moment. 😛 Single _at the moment_? Makes me wanna ask, “OK, how about **now** ”? single “OK, now”? single “Now”? etc. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/105 "2010-06-02T17:02:06Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Is this actually true? Are all men just constantly surging with testosterone that makes them do crazy things all the time? Yes. I’m masturbating right now. According to that fountain of infallible knowledge, [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testosterone#Adult), testosterone controls: The [HPA](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypothalamic%E2%80%93pituitary%E2%80%93adrenal_axis) response “Mental energy” Libido Fight or flight response etc And unlike adrenaline, which comes in bursts, I believe our testosterone levels are relatively consistent, meaning it’s always in us men at very high levels compared to women. What does that all mean? Well, I’m likely to be masturbating again in a few minutes. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/106 "2010-06-02T17:04:12Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Yes. I’m masturbating right now. Enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/107 "2010-06-02T17:06:07Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Well, isn’t it obvious??? > > Just yesterday Al Gore was counting Tippers panties, and found that a pair was MIA—What other POSSIBLE evidence could be needed? > > Clearly, pool and Tipper Gore have been caught red-handed, and good ol’ Ogre can’t see the Straight Dope in front of his eyes. :rolleyes: > > (Seriously pool, good luck, and dont let Encyclopedia Brown-wannabe posters like Ogre make you nuts) Look, pardner, he started the thread. He (and you) should have been expecting questions, especially when he left such low-hanging fruit. I’m not accusing him. I’m just saying there are large blank spaces in his story, and I would like them filled before I take any sides. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/108 "2010-06-02T17:07:52Z")
How about now? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/109 "2010-06-02T17:08:44Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > How about now? A few seconds too late. I had a girlfriend for a moment there but she caught me masturbating to this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/110 "2010-06-02T17:13:05Z")
> [@dukette71](#): > > This happened at my house once. My BF did his laundry in the apartment laundromat, and when I was folding, i found purple panties (larger than my size). I confronted him, and he was completely confused. He figured it must have already been in he washer or dryer when he put his clothes in. This happened to me once when I was single. I collected all my clothes at the laundrymat, took them home to fold, and found a pair of panties. I accused myself of cheating on me, but I denied it, and in the end I believed myself and never had any further reason to be suspicious of me. Later on I married someone else but I’m still good friends with myself. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/111 "2010-06-02T17:16:27Z")
What happened to the OP? I’ve been lurking for a while and want to know where the panties came from, too. It’s like playing Clue, only with undies. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/112 "2010-06-02T17:19:20Z")
Can I just chip in to say that I’m enjoying all the mentions of the word “panties”. Panties. Panties. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/113 "2010-06-02T17:20:32Z")
I’ve got a theory on where the panties came from… Hey “pool”, by chance did you leave your [diary](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=562910) over at your wife’s brother’s house? ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/114 "2010-06-02T17:20:53Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > A few seconds too late. I had a girlfriend for a moment there but she caught me masturbating to this thread. Any more updates on your relationship status? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/115 "2010-06-02T17:21:37Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > A few seconds too late. I had a girlfriend for a moment there but she caught me masturbating to this thread. Wow. Your girlfriend is like a matter / antimatter panty particle pair. Please note the inclusion of the word ‘panty’ is gratuitous, and provided solely for the enjoyment of the poster before me. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/116 "2010-06-02T17:22:04Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > What happened to the OP? > > I’ve been lurking for a while and want to know where the panties came from, too. It’s like playing Clue, only with undies. To make myself clear, if the OP comes back and says that they use some form of communal laundry facilities, then cool. His wife is overreacting, and possibly hormonal. I have a 3 month old. I’ve been dealing with hormonal for most of the past year. He has my sympathies. If not, however, then the question “Where did/do you think the panties come/came from?” is a fair one. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/117 "2010-06-02T17:37:28Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > To make myself clear, if the OP comes back and says that they use some form of communal laundry facilities, then cool. His wife is overreacting, and possibly hormonal. I have a 3 month old. I’ve been dealing with hormonal for most of the past year. He has my sympathies. If not, however, then the question “Where did/do you think the panties come/came from?” is a fair one. I totally agree with the hormonal issues. I had a baby in November, and I’m _still_ dealing with some weird hormones, probably because of the breastfeeding. I swear, if my daughter is crying, I feel a visceral need to find the source of her discomfort and obliterate it. And I can’t read stories of children getting hurt, either, because it causes me almost physical pain. That aside, I’m just genuinely curious, mostly because if I found unclaimed underwear in the laundry, I’d probably fear the worst, though I’d try to approach it more calmly. I try not to be suspicious, but I’ve been cheated on before (not by my husband), so I tend to jump to some pretty bad conclusions. Then again, we have our own washer/dryer, so it’d be a rare situation where someone outside of our family would have occasion to use our laundry. And our six-month old daughter doesn’t yet wear panties. Geez, I hate that word. Panties. Gah. ---
**Author:** ![sich\_hinaufwinden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@sich\_hinaufwinden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sich_hinaufwinden)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/118 "2010-06-02T17:39:51Z")
I’ve never planted a pair of panties. What do they grow into? Bush? /panties ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/119 "2010-06-02T18:11:15Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > I’ve got a theory on where the panties came from… > Hey “pool”, by chance did you leave your [diary](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=562910) over at your wife’s brother’s house? Ah, the pieces are all falling into place. **pool** , I hope you and your wife can work this out, for all your sakes. You both have a lot going on, and I think you need some outside guidance to get through it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/120 "2010-06-02T18:17:05Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > It’s good to know when you disagree with a man the mental image of a man getting hit in balls amuses you. Got it. Please. It amuses everybody. Guys getting hit in the balls always = laughs. That and fat guys falling down. Comedy gold every time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606.md?page=7)