# My wife thinks I'm cheating on her. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606 "2010-06-02T04:39:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/141 "2010-06-03T03:12:55Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > The 'Brain-as-Doorstop" part of pregnancy is totally true, sadly. YES. My OB gave me a copy of What to Expect… and apparently the brain actually shrinks in pregnancy. I had no idea. Maybe the OP should give her a few days and she’ll just forget all about it… ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/142 "2010-06-03T03:35:33Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > OK, we cool then. _crosses legs_ > > 😛 You’re okay. > [@levdrakon](#): > > It’s good to know when you disagree with a man the mental image of a man getting hit in balls amuses you. Got it. The man part was really of little consequence. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/143 "2010-06-03T08:05:12Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Can the wife be sure these aren’t her knickers - we need more details. Its obvious who owns the camel retention harness, the Army of course. No ones ever heard of Maggies drawers ? Pool was probably at the range with the platoon, missed large and was suitably rewarded. Actually I have no idea who owns the panties in question. Declan ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/144 "2010-06-03T10:15:01Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I was **AClockworkMelon’s** girlfriend for a few moments, but that’s before he realized I’m a dude. Best few moments of my life. > [@tr0psn4j](#): > > I filled out an application but got rejected for being a man, or a hippy, or something. You should have lied like **Auto**! > [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > I’m a woman. Even worse, I’m a _pregnant_ woman. > > I agree with you. > > I know hormone levels change, drastically at first, but I’ve known some women who take this excuse to extremes and it’s ridiculous. I have also noticed that the chicks I know who are the biggest assholes during pregnancy are just assholes in general anyway. Being pregnant might make you cry during that stupid Oreo commercial where the kid and the dad are video chatting and eating cookies together while the dad is away (not me… a friend of a friend…), but I have a hard time believing that hormones will make a woman treat people like shit if she wouldn’t otherwise. Validation! But I have a theory. The OP is actually the brother-in-law from the diary-in-the-laundry thread. A wormhole opened up and swapped his diary for a pair of panties. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/145 "2010-06-03T11:12:02Z")
Werent soldiers in WWII requisitioned womens underwear so they could barter with the locals? I’m going with that. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/146 "2010-06-03T12:17:41Z")
Ok sorry I haven’t posted back sooner, I’ll try and clear up the misconceptions. I live in a house, not an apartment or on-post housing so there is no communal washer/dryer situation going on here, which understandably makes the whole thing more confusing. My wife stayed out all day yesterday and came home around 10:30. The bizarre thing is my wife was no longer mad at me really at all. I’m still not really sure where the panties came from but the subject seemed to no longer really bother her. I even suggested the possibility that she planted said panties and she responded with a “get outta here” so I’ve just decided to drop it too. I really don’t know where they came from and I don’t really care anymore if she doesn’t. I feel bad about the divorce comments, I probably was just trying to mentally make things easier if it went down that road. I have a tendency to always imagine the worst possibilities so reality usually can’t live up to my doomsday-scenarios. So right now everything seems to be good again, thank you all for your input ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/147 "2010-06-03T12:20:45Z")
LOL! Welcome to pregnancy. Seriously though, counselor. You need it, and so does she. Someone is going to have to be able to help her keep it together while you’re gone, and you want that person to know you. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/148 "2010-06-03T13:25:26Z")
In his autobiography, Jay Leno relates a story about finding a pair of black, lacy panties in his sock drawer just after unpacking from a comedy stand-up tour. He had no idea how they got there; he certainly hadn’t done anything while away involving anyone’s panties… but there they were. So he sneaks them out to the garage and buries them in a trash can inside a used motor oil container, and thinks, “Whew!” And then a couple of days later his wife says, “Hey, have you seen a pair of black panties anywhere around? I went to so-and-so’s bachlorette party while you were gone and got them as a gag gift, and I can’t find them in the laundry.” “Uh… no, honey, haven’t seen them.” ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/149 "2010-06-03T13:57:12Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > But I have a theory. The OP is actually the brother-in-law from the diary-in-the-laundry thread. A wormhole opened up and swapped his diary for a pair of panties. ^^^See post #113. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/150 "2010-06-03T14:09:00Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Werent soldiers in WWII requisitioned womens underwear so they could barter with the locals? I’m going with that. Yanno, in Japan they sell used women’s panties from vending machines. I just thought I would throw that out there. [Here](http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/World%27s-Largest-Underpants.html)is a picture of the panties. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/151 "2010-06-03T14:12:07Z")
Hey, remember that thread a week or so ago about finding your brother-in-laws diary? I wonder if the OP might be that same person, and this is the same story told from a different POV! ::::shwing!:::: ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/152 "2010-06-03T16:56:26Z")
Mystery panties! There was a pair that turned up in our laundry making my fiancee and I both go: 😕 _Months_ later, my fiancee, with very loud exuberance, yelped “I figured out the panties!!!” As we were out in public, many heads did turn. In any case, we were at the Y, and while she was toweling off, she saw the very same panties… on a woman who was rummaging around a locker near my girlfriend’s. So the best guess is that somehow this woman’s panties ended up either in or near my GF’s pile of workout clothes and she scooped them up, possibly leaving the poor woman to go commando post-workout. ---
**Author:** ![PsyXe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@PsyXe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PsyXe)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/153 "2010-06-03T17:26:05Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > YES. My OB gave me a copy of What to Expect… and apparently the brain actually shrinks in pregnancy. I had no idea. > > Maybe the OP should give her a few days and she’ll just forget all about it… > [@pool](#): > > Ok sorry I haven’t posted back sooner, I’ll try and clear up the misconceptions. I live in a house, not an apartment or on-post housing so there is no communal washer/dryer situation going on here, which understandably makes the whole thing more confusing. My wife stayed out all day yesterday and came home around 10:30. The bizarre thing is my wife was no longer mad at me really at all. I’m still not really sure where the panties came from but the subject seemed to no longer really bother her. I even suggested the possibility that she planted said panties and she responded with a “get outta here” so I’ve just decided to drop it too. I really don’t know where they came from and I don’t really care anymore if she doesn’t. I feel bad about the divorce comments, I probably was just trying to mentally make things easier if it went down that road. I have a tendency to always imagine the worst possibilities so reality usually can’t live up to my doomsday-scenarios. So right now everything seems to be good again, thank you all for your input **Silver Fire** , you win the thread! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/154 "2010-06-03T17:33:14Z")
Silver Fire can have it. The last thing I want is to take this thread home and have someone find it months from now… ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/155 "2010-06-03T20:04:32Z")
**bows** ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/156 "2010-06-03T20:28:28Z")
My wife once found a bra in the laundry that didn’t belong to her and questioned me about it angrily. I have no idea how that bra got there; we have our own house and own washer and dryer. We had had relatives visiting several weeks prior; maybe it belonged to someone from her family or mine. The mystery has never been resolved. Still, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the ‘WTF’ moment, and the bewilderment and automatic defensiveness that came over me, when my wife came storming up out of the basement, offending bra clutched tightly in her hand. It’s a sick feeling, knowing that you’ve done nothing wrong but being confronted by ‘evidence’ to the contrary. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/157 "2010-06-03T20:43:58Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > To make myself clear, if the OP comes back and says that they use some form of communal laundry facilities, then cool. His wife is overreacting, and possibly hormonal. I have a 3 month old. I’ve been dealing with hormonal for most of the past year. He has my sympathies. If not, however, then the question “Where did/do you think the panties come/came from?” is a fair one. Note that if the OP is accurately reporting the tone of the encounter, she wasn’t asking, she was telling. **pool** , you and your wife sound like you have major communication problems. She blows hot and cold and you just shut down. You really should try to get some counseling now, so you don’t wind up playing mind games via Skype during your whole deployment. It’s also not a helathy relationship to be modeling in the future to your child. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Please. It amuses everybody. Guys getting hit in the balls always = laughs. That and fat guys falling down. Comedy gold every time. Absolutely agree. [Here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV1LWhNpTJU) is some analysis of the phenomenon. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/158 "2010-06-04T00:03:22Z")
> [@sich\_hinaufwinden](#): > > I’ve never planted a pair of panties. What do they grow into? Bush? > > /panties This is fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/159 "2010-06-04T13:12:47Z")
See, this is why if I’m going to get a girlfriend on the side, I make sure they don’t make it a habit to wear underwear to the house. Amateurs. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606/160 "2010-06-04T22:13:53Z")
> [@Declan](#): > > I snip > Actually I have no idea who owns the panties in question. > > Declan Are you cheating on me? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-im-cheating-on-her/541606.md?page=9)