# My wife thinks she has precognition, X-ray vision and a supercalculator brain **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 22, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483 "2003-12-22T17:49:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/81 "2003-12-24T15:26:42Z")
If there’s nothing for me under the tree tomorrow, **Aries** won’t need to open a can of Whoop-Ass because I will have uncapped the Large, Sam’s Club size on him (especially after I got him everything he asked for for Christmas, AND bought the presents for his family AND got him new winter clothes). ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/82 "2003-12-24T15:33:11Z")
The Lout! I got a present (smoked salmon and wine) for my ex-wife and her girlfriend. That’s all I’m sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/83 "2003-12-24T15:34:27Z")
You could always just play with his toys and wear his clothes, **gobear** … 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/84 "2003-12-24T19:17:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*We’ll see. His “Oops, I didn’t go to the store or shop online to get you anything. Make me a list and I’ll see on Friday” speech last night had better be a Christmas prank. \*\* This is one I like, though I’m more of a fan of the “Put the huge, mysteriously-shaped box out in Mid-November.” This year, it’s a big triangle. Hee hee hee. Just sayin’, he may be devious like me. Or an ass. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/85 "2003-12-24T20:58:41Z")
After two pages, we the massed folk of the SDMB will not let you rest until we have a present inventory. For both of you. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/86 "2003-12-25T04:06:44Z")
Well, I have to unsay my hard words. He bought me the South Park Season 3 and the X-Men Collection, two box sets I was jonseing for. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/87 "2003-12-25T12:04:39Z")
**Aries** , I’ve heard of that Ring … this guy I know–well, knew–he had a ring like that. When I last saw him, he had part of his finger bit off by this real weird-looking guy who sorta crawled along all ape-like. He said he lost the Ring, though. Sorry about that. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cerowyn \* > $90? What’s that for, a belt? I’m thinking you’ve never been married, or you’d realize how ridiculous it is to suggest that a woman could ever just spend $90 shopping for clothes. **fizzy** has walked into stores in the past, written checks of a not insubstantial amount, and come out with clothing so small I couldn’t even SEE it. And no, it was not That Kind Of Store. Trust me, there is one at that mall. Okay, okay, she was paying the bill. But what’s important is that she didn’t buy anything ELSE[sub]that time[/sub]! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/88 "2003-12-25T15:20:35Z")
Papa Tiger has this annoying habit of shopping early and spending more than we agree to spend. Now, mind you, he also spends it on things like gorgeous and unique jewelry (my coworkers are quite envious), but at the same time _anything_ I can think of to buy him, he goes out and buys for himself, leaving me with nary a clue. But that’s okay. This year I topped him! This year I blew the spending limit sky-high, and **he can’t complain** – I got an inheritance from my grandmother, and over his great protests, I _forced_ him to buy himself a new computer! Hah! That’ll show him! Of course, I also have a few other goodies for him…just to prove to him for once and for all that no matter how he tries to prevent me from finding _anything_ for him, I am too good for him! I can see into the future and know what he wants even before he knows he wants it! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/89 "2003-12-26T17:43:12Z")
Hey, it’s the 26th!! I want an update!! ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/90 "2003-12-26T18:21:52Z")
Yeah. Where’s the list of what you guys got each other, huh? We want to know! ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/91 "2003-12-26T19:15:32Z")
Risking **Aries** ’ eternal wrath here (which I’m having a hard time feeling threatened by, after the finger puppet thing): **Sauron** , for a following year may I recommend this idea? It worked great for me this year. Our situation is similar to yours. **LadyAvalonain** and I like to spend most of our limited pool of holiday funds on our kids, and we limit our spending for one another pretty severely some years. This year in particular it was limited by a large purchase in mid-December… the sub-flooring for the basement room we’ve been working on for the last year came in, and it was going fast. It’s an imported product and was hard to get locally, so we had to jump on it. Over $500 to get what we needed, and it made a pretty solid dent in the holiday money. We agreed to only spend the rest on our girls. I made the agreement with an ace in the hole, though. Because I kick ass regularly at work, I usually get a monthly bonus in the form of gift certificates to various establishments. This has resulted in lots of cool stuff over the past few months: a new MP3 player, some books and CD’s from Amazon, a new gas BBQ grill (which I’ve assembled but probably won’t use until next year), etc. This time I was getting a Circuit City gift card, and I got it a few days before Christmas. I knew where it was going right away. On Christmas Eve, she asked me The Question (she knows me too well): “You didn’t buy me anything, right?” I smile and shake my head slowly. She reacts instantly. “Oh no… you did!” I look her in the eye. “I promise, I did not buy you anything.” Christmas morning, after the girls have opened most of their presents, I pull out their “surprise” gift: a Gamecube with several games. I also give m’lady a smallish wrapped package. She gives me a The Look. “From Santa for us, I think,” and I shrug and sit down. She opens her new digital camera and spends the rest of the day playing with it. See, technically, I didn’t buy it (my employer did), and it wasn’t for her, it was for us. So there you go… two excuses (though I stupidly blew them both this year): (1) You didn’t pay for the gift, and (2) it’s not just for her, it for the both of you (or the whole family, or for the Minions, or whatever – vary as needed). They pay off pretty nicely, in my opinion. Being sneaky can be fun. And you _know_ our ladies secretly love it. So what’d y’all get? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/92 "2003-12-27T00:23:48Z")
I just have to wonder what one buys an Orc for Xmas. I mean, there are just so many Minions of Sauron, and they already HAVE shields and big metal stick things and helms and all that. I have a feeling some Tinkertoys and a few matchbox cars just wouldn’t cut it. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/93 "2003-12-27T01:12:36Z")
Pie. Orc, pie, ten by ten room. It’s a tradition. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/94 "2003-12-27T01:20:41Z")
I thought orcs ate pizza. Back over Labor Day I was at DragonCon in Atlanta, and ended up at one point in an elevator with several orcs, one carrying several pizzas. Since I’m really short and was wearing peasanty clothes, they insisted on looking at my feet to make sure I was human. Funny stuff. Their costumes were amazing. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/95 "2003-12-27T03:20:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*I just have to wonder what one buys an Orc for Xmas. . \*\* A gift certificate to Tom’s Rhinoplasty! ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/96 "2003-12-27T19:02:12Z")
See, I figure we should all chip in a dollar for **Aries28** so next Christmas she can have a nice fat budget to work with and not go over the budget. I’ll bet the SDMB could put together a nice little Christmas bonus… Why aren’t we thinking of ways for _her_ to win? Jeez. 🙂 FISH ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/97 "2003-12-27T19:35:29Z")
Because Aries isn’t a Dark Lord with a Scary Tower and Spooky Ooky Eye and all us dark creatures feel some allegiance to Sauron? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/98 "2003-12-28T00:12:50Z")
Well, she needs all the help she can get… after all, she’s a car! [![](https://www.lhmopars.com/MOPAR_Ads/81kcarad.jpg) ](https://www.lhmopars.com/MOPAR_Ads/81kcarad.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/99 "2003-12-28T00:28:16Z")
No reports yet? Huh. Maybe the jewel-encrusted marital aids worked better than anybody would have expected! _g_ ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483/100 "2003-12-28T23:49:55Z")
Damn, here it is the afternoon of the 28th and still no word. That must be some new type of atomic powered, jewel-encrusted marital aid. Come on guys spill, who got what? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-thinks-she-has-precognition-x-ray-vision-and-a-supercalculator-brain/220483.md?page=6)