# My wife wants a baby **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2014, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058 "2014-07-14T09:32:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/1 "2014-07-14T09:32:25Z")
We’re both in our mid thirties and my wife wants one baby. She thinks not letting her have it is a bit selfish. I’ve never really wanted a baby. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/2 "2014-07-14T09:40:42Z")
What’s the purpose of posting this? Do you want people’s advice? Sympathy? What? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/3 "2014-07-14T09:46:18Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > What’s the purpose of posting this? Do you want people’s advice? Sympathy? What? Maybe some people are in a similar situation… maybe they could help me think this through. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/4 "2014-07-14T09:48:18Z")
You two never talked about children before getting married, I take it. You probably should have, but I disagree with your wife. It’s not selfish to not want a child, in fact it’s a big responsibility and should not be something you two do without a great deal of thought. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/5 "2014-07-14T09:52:55Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > You two never talked about children before getting married, I take it. Actually in the church service there was an optional part that talked about the marriage producing children. I insisted that that part not be said. > [@](#): > > You probably should have, but I disagree with your wife. It’s not selfish to not want a child, in fact it’s a big responsibility and should not be something you two do without a great deal of thought. Yeah we’re thinking it through. Recently we started watching a DVD about raising children - the first bit was about newborns. It was interesting when it said that in about the first 3 months you should come to their aid as soon as they cry or hint at crying. They said that that results in less severe crying than if you left them alone to cry (which is how some people do it). BTW I said that I didn’t want to spend much time raising them. I’d rather concentrate on my job more, etc. She seems ok with that. ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Bragg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Stealth\_Bragg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Bragg)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/6 "2014-07-14T10:33:48Z")
Given my experience, I wouldn’t recommend it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/7 "2014-07-14T10:49:50Z")
This seems like a really bad idea for the two of you, given your history. I can only see it stressing your relationship. You’ve never struck me as the type to easily adjust to sharing your wife with someone whose demands are far stronger than your own. Many men complain they feel they’ve been demoted to a distant second best after a baby comes along. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/8 "2014-07-14T13:11:58Z")
Moved to IMHO, our advice/opinions forum (from MPSIMS). ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/9 "2014-07-14T13:34:10Z")
Given that you’ve contemplated having [“light sexual contact”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15852684&postcount=64) with babies, I strongly recommend that you do not have a child. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/10 "2014-07-14T13:49:38Z")
Perhaps you could start with a sack of flour, see how that goes. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/11 "2014-07-14T14:25:37Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > You two never talked about children before getting married, I take it. Or the lady changed her mind. That’s what my wife did, and then she got angry that I continued to not want kids. I finally acquiesced and started to “roll the dice,” so to speak (no birth control). Given that we’re both in our forties, the odds of pregancy are awfully slim, so my willingness to do so is more of a symbolic gesture than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/12 "2014-07-14T14:29:12Z")
If you’re asking if it’s a good idea for you to procreate… I’m not sure I can answer that. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/13 "2014-07-14T14:35:57Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Actually in the church service there was an optional part that talked about the marriage producing children. I insisted that that part not be said. That should have been a pretty big sign for your wife… ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/14 "2014-07-14T14:54:26Z")
Please don’t have children. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/15 "2014-07-14T15:01:57Z")
Yes, but does she want _your_ baby? ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/16 "2014-07-14T15:59:59Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Or the lady changed her mind. That’s what my wife did, and then she got angry that I continued to not want kids. I finally acquiesced and started to “roll the dice,” so to speak (no birth control). Given that we’re both in our forties, the odds of pregancy are awfully slim, so my willingness to do so is more of a symbolic gesture than anything else. Yea, until you have a kid much later than you expected. My mom had my sister when she was 42. It was not planned and my sister has a lot of medical issues as I understand many children born to older mothers do. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/17 "2014-07-14T16:03:07Z")
Adopt. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/18 "2014-07-14T16:03:23Z")
As harsh as it may seem, given your posting history, I really don’t think that a baby would be good for you, her, or whatever offspring you might produce. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/19 "2014-07-14T16:19:18Z")
Will she use her penis or yours? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/20 "2014-07-14T16:24:00Z")
Go to Aarons and rent one for a year, see how you like it. I love Nietzsche’s quote: “I did my children the favor of not having them.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058.md?page=2)