# My wife wants a baby **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2014, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058 "2014-07-14T09:32:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/21 "2014-07-14T16:24:54Z")
You know it will positively wreck her body, right? I mean, sure, she might be in the 2% who bounces back perkier than ever, but for the vast majority of us, pregnancy comes with extra weight gain, stretch marks, saggy boobs and a decidedly squishy belly, even after the pregnancy weight is lost. I mean, I personally find motherhood bodies beautiful, but I know you’ve had some issues with your wife’s body already. It won’t get better. It will probably get worse. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/22 "2014-07-14T16:42:06Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Given that you’ve contemplated having [“light sexual contact”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15852684&postcount=64) with babies, I strongly recommend that you do not have a child. This board doesn’t have the correct emoticon to express my feelings on the OP in light of this post. Luckily, another poster was kind enough to simulate the one I wanted: ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████ ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/23 "2014-07-14T16:43:37Z")
Given what you’ve posted about your mental health and your relationship with your wife, I hope you do not ever have children. That may not be what your wife wants, but it’s probably best for the rest of us. Instead of a child, have you considered a vasectomy? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/24 "2014-07-14T16:51:22Z")
Have you guys ever had a pet? Seeing what is involved with keeping a hamster/guinea-pig/finch/dog alive might be a way to see what it’s like. And it’s easier to re-home a pet than a kid. ---
**Author:** ![CateAyo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@CateAyo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CateAyo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/25 "2014-07-14T17:38:55Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > We’re both in our mid thirties and my wife wants one baby. She thinks not letting her have it is a bit selfish. I’ve never really wanted a baby. I think the above phrasing “she thinks not letting her have it” says much about the relationship. It is interesting that you assume you have control over whether she has a child or not. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/26 "2014-07-14T17:41:40Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > We’re both in our mid thirties and my wife wants one baby. She thinks not letting her have it is a bit selfish. I’ve never really wanted a baby. Frankly, if this is your attitude, I think it would be best for you not to have a child. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/27 "2014-07-14T17:41:53Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Given what you’ve posted about your mental health and your relationship with your wife, I hope you do not ever have children. That may not be what your wife wants, but it’s probably best for the rest of us. Instead of a child, have you considered a vasectomy? Jesus, yes, this. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/28 "2014-07-14T17:45:26Z")
> [@CateAyo](#): > > It is interesting that you assume you have control over whether she has a child or not. Well, on one level he does, specifically if we’re only talking about _his_ child. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/29 "2014-07-14T18:08:29Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Well, on one level he does, specifically if we’re only talking about _his_ child. Yea, geez sometimes people read way too much into these posts. Clearly he has control over whether he ejaculates in his wife’s vagina. > [@](#): > > I haven’t thought deep enough about the situations to work out whether or not I felt aroused but a thought did pop into my head that having light sexual contact with a baby would be preferable to a toddler or child because there would probably be less chance of getting caught. Er this does seem logical, if one had to sexually abuse a minor I guess your chance of getting caught is lower with an infant. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/30 "2014-07-14T18:18:35Z")
Absolutely not. Do not have children. In fact, you may want to consider a vasectomy if you are sure you never want to have kids. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/31 "2014-07-14T18:28:04Z")
[Deja vu all over again.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=684463) :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/32 "2014-07-14T19:50:40Z")
Does your wife know that you are mentally ill? ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/33 "2014-07-14T19:52:37Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Yea, until you have a kid much later than you expected. > > My mom had my sister when she was 42. It was not planned and my sister has a lot of medical issues as I understand many children born to older mothers do. I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and wonderfully healthy son at the age of 43. I don’t think “many” is correct. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/34 "2014-07-14T20:00:22Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Given that you’ve contemplated having [“light sexual contact”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15852684&postcount=64) with babies, I strongly recommend that you do not have a child. For the love of all that’s holy, do NOT have a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/35 "2014-07-14T20:04:02Z")
> [@Glory](#): > > I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and wonderfully healthy son at the age of 43. I don’t think “many” is correct. Consider the mental health of the two indivisuals here, I’d say there’s probably a good chance that the health problems could be “many”. (Mental illness is genetic) And even if that isn’t the case, his wife won’t be able to take her meds while she’s pregnant, and it sounds like she’s a prime candidate for Post-Partum-Depression, or worse, Psychosis. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/36 "2014-07-14T20:11:17Z")
You asked us this once before So I tell you this once more Have no baby any time To have one would be a crime Do not have one in a bib Do not have one in a crib Do not have one any day Do not have one this I say ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/37 "2014-07-14T20:50:52Z")
Has your wife ever met you? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/38 "2014-07-14T21:16:17Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Given that you’ve contemplated having [“light sexual contact”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15852684&postcount=64) with babies, I strongly recommend that you do not have a child. This. Strongly. Tell your wife that she’s free to have a baby with another man, or with a sperm donor, and she’ll have to raise it as a single mother. Also tell her that she should never ever leave the baby alone with you. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/39 "2014-07-14T21:54:46Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Absolutely not. Do not have children. In fact, you may want to consider a vasectomy if you are sure you never want to have kids. Here you go. Get a vasectomy, but don’t tell your wife about it. Then you can get her to have lots and lots of “baby-making” sex with you, but you won’t get her pregnant. [/just kidding, don’t do this] ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/40 "2014-07-14T23:27:30Z")
The more I think about this, the more I think this has nothing to do with your wife, and everything to do with you wanting a baby to have “light sexual contact” with. I hope I’m wrong about this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058.md?page=3)