# My wife wants a baby **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2014, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058 "2014-07-14T09:32:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2014, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/41 "2014-07-14T23:35:40Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > What’s the purpose of posting this? Do you want people’s advice? Sympathy? What? Maybe you have a spare baby you can give him? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/42 "2014-07-15T00:24:15Z")
**JohnClay**. Please. For the love of all that is pure and good. Do not make babby. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/43 "2014-07-15T00:28:50Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > BTW I said that I didn’t want to spend much time raising them. I’d rather concentrate on my job more, etc. She seems ok with that. Seems OK, or _is_ OK? In the abstract it might seem OK to her to be 99% responsible for the children, but that’s without having the actual experience of a newborn (then an infant, then a toddler, and so on) to be responsible for. You two should not have children. You two should talk to a physician about fool-proof birth control. You two should not have children. No no no no no. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/44 "2014-07-15T02:52:04Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > This seems like a really bad idea for the two of you, given your history. I can only see it stressing your relationship. You’ve never struck me as the type to easily adjust to sharing your wife with someone whose demands are far stronger than your own. Many men complain they feel they’ve been demoted to a distant second best after a baby comes along. I don’t mind getting less attention from my wife. Often she pays me too much attention. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/45 "2014-07-15T02:54:36Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Given what you’ve posted about your mental health and your relationship with your wife, I hope you do not ever have children. That may not be what your wife wants, but it’s probably best for the rest of us. Instead of a child, have you considered a vasectomy? Yes but my wife wants me to wait a couple of years. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/46 "2014-07-15T02:56:55Z")
There’s no time like the present. Go to the doctor’s office tomorrow morning and have the vasectomy as soon as they can schedule it. And ask them to make doubly sure there’s no possible way you can reproduce. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/47 "2014-07-15T02:58:14Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Does your wife know that you are mentally ill? Of course and she and many of her siblings are also mentally ill. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/48 "2014-07-15T03:02:33Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Have you guys ever had a pet? Seeing what is involved with keeping a hamster/guinea-pig/finch/dog alive might be a way to see what it’s like. And it’s easier to re-home a pet than a kid. When we house-sit for my wife’s mother my wife looks after her dog and birds. BTW I got my wife to try looking after other people’s kids/toddlers by herself. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/49 "2014-07-15T03:05:39Z")
If she decides that not getting to be a parent would be a dealbreaker, do you think you might change you mind? How do you think you might react if she asks for a divorce? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/50 "2014-07-15T03:13:54Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > If she decides that not getting to be a parent would be a dealbreaker, do you think you might change you mind? That is hypothetical since she seems to accept that I might not ever agree to have a child. > [@](#): > > How do you think you might react if she asks for a divorce? If I agreed my life might go in a downward spiral so I might agree to just about anything that would avoid divorce. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/51 "2014-07-15T03:15:26Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > BTW I said that I didn’t want to spend much time raising them. I’d rather concentrate on my job more, etc. She seems ok with that. Yeah. Keep in mind she said that (if that is what she said) before she is pregnant and while she’s trying to sell you on the idea of making a baby. Do you honestly believe that in the 18 or so years after she spawns your child that not once will she ask you to spend some time caring for your child? Run, do not walk, to the nearest place to get a vasectomy. You do NOT want to father a child. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/52 "2014-07-15T03:17:11Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Of course and she and many of her siblings are also mentally ill. Perhaps it wouldn’t be the best idea ever to possibly pass on any mental illnesses to your future child(ren). Just adding this to the mix. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/53 "2014-07-15T03:23:31Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Yeah. Keep in mind she said that (if that is what she said) before she is pregnant and while she’s trying to sell you on the idea of making a baby. Do you honestly believe that in the 18 or so years after she spawns your child that not once will she ask you to spend some time caring for your child?.. If I were to be the father I would spend time with the kid quite a bit I just want to keep my wife’s expectations low. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/54 "2014-07-15T03:25:32Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Perhaps it wouldn’t be the best idea ever to possibly pass on any mental illnesses to your future child(ren). Just adding this to the mix. I think that’s what my parents think. My wife’s mother think one is ok. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/55 "2014-07-15T03:28:52Z")
If you’ll send me a thousand bucks, I’ll rummage around on the streets and see what’s available for you. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/56 "2014-07-15T03:33:06Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > If you’ll send me a thousand bucks, I’ll rummage around on the streets and see what’s available for you. What’s on the streets? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/57 "2014-07-15T03:48:17Z")
Go back to the old thread. Read it again. Then read it again. Let your wife read it. Seriously, you guys have some serious mental health issues – there’s no way you should be responsible for a kid. You’re better off being the “Cool Uncle” to a friend’s kid or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/58 "2014-07-15T03:56:27Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > You know it will positively wreck her body, right? I mean, sure, she might be in the 2% who bounces back perkier than ever, but for the vast majority of us, pregnancy comes with extra weight gain, stretch marks, saggy boobs and a decidedly squishy belly, even after the pregnancy weight is lost. I mean, I personally find motherhood bodies beautiful, but I know you’ve had some issues with your wife’s body already. It won’t get better. It will probably get worse. That’s a very good point. I don’t want my wife to look any worse than she does already. I said that I didn’t want her to “let herself go” but perhaps she wouldn’t really be able to have much control over that. ---
**Author:** ![donkeyoatey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@donkeyoatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donkeyoatey)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/59 "2014-07-15T04:22:16Z")
That’s some \*\*concrete \*\* points you make. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/60 "2014-07-15T04:29:15Z")
Women who really want a baby have ways to “accidentally” have birth control fail. Unless she has an IUD, she _will_ get pregnant if she decides not to wait for your permission. You should have had a vasectomy years ago. Full stop. Schedule one _now_. You two would raise a terribly broken child. Don’t do that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058.md?page=4)