# My wife wants a baby **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2014, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058 "2014-07-14T09:32:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/81 "2014-07-15T18:26:24Z")
Nice to see how you’ve taken to heart the instructions to stop posting slightly unnervingly creepy threads about your relationship with your wife, John. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/82 "2014-07-15T18:29:05Z")
> [@Caffeine.addict](#): > > Buck v. Bell? The interesting thing is Carrie Buck wasn’t feeble minded or a imbecile at all, in fact she was an avid reader. The Buck vs. Bell case was a conspiracy by social scientists with inflated egos to legitimize eugenics, and Buck was institutionalized to cover up the fact she was raped by a male family member. > **[Buck v. Bell](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_v._Bell)** > > Virginia Sterilization Act of 1924 > Buck v. Bell, 274 U.S. 200 (1927), is a landmark decision of the United States Supreme Court, written by Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., in which the Court ruled that a state statute permitting compulsory sterilization of the unfit, including the intellectually disabled, "for the protection and health of the state" did not violate the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Despite the changing attitudes about ste... > [@](#): > > She was later paroled from the institution as a domestic worker to a family in Bland, Virginia. She was an avid reader until her death in 1983. Her daughter Vivian had been pronounced “feeble minded” after a cursory examination by ERO field worker Dr. Arthur Estabrook,[7] thus the “three generations” of the majority opinion. It is worthy of noting that the child did very well in school for the two years that she attended (she died of complications from measles in 1932), even being listed on her school’s honor roll in April 1931.[8] > > Historian Paul A. Lombardo argued in 1985 that Buck was not “feeble-minded” at all, but that she had been put away to hide her rape, perpetrated by the nephew of her adoptive mother.[9] He also asserted that Buck’s lawyer, Irving Whitehead, poorly argued her case, failed to call important witnesses, and was remarked by commentators to often not know what side he was on. It is now thought that this was not because of incompetence, but deliberate.[10] Whitehead had close connections to the counsel for the institution and to Priddy. Whitehead was a member of the governing board of the state institution in which Buck resided, and had personally authorized Priddy’s sterilization requests and was a strong supporter of eugenic sterilization.[citation needed] ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/83 "2014-07-15T19:08:02Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > You are far too whack-a-doodle to be a good parent, Everyone, let’s dial it back. JohnClay asked for them, and opinions have been shared, based on what he says here, as well as his past disclosures, which is fine. But restrain yourselves from reaching for insults. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/84 "2014-07-15T19:09:43Z")
I don’t think Buck vs. Bell should apply here. No one’s saying that JohnClay and his wife should be forbidden by law to become parents. Just that it would be a horrible idea for them to do so. Besides, it’s not so much about passing on mental illness that should be the issue here – it’s that you’d have a child _raised by_ two people who are, from what I can see, moderately to severely mentally ill themselves. Neither of them seem responsible enough to be parents. Do I think they should be forcibly sterilized? No. Do I think they should voluntarily make that decision? Yeah, it might be a good idea. Not because of passing any traits on, but because if JohnClay is in real life anything like he is here, I wouldn’t put him in charge of a Chia Pet, let alone a child. > [@JohnClay](#): > > Apparently the pill makes her anxious and she doesn’t want an implant in her arm so we use condoms. If the Pill makes her anxious, then pregnancy’s DEFINITELY not for her. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/85 "2014-07-15T19:29:05Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Not that I know why any of us bother trying to reason with you. You don’t seem the least bit concerned about what kind of life the kid would have, only how it would affect your life. . Gotta know your audience. I’m kicking myself for not including the no-more-free-sex point. That’s gold, and so more likely to hit its mark than anything altruistic or even sympathetic to another person’s perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/86 "2014-07-15T19:32:19Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Gotta know your audience. > > I’m kicking myself for not including the no-more-free-sex point. That’s gold, and so more likely to hit its mark than anything altruistic or even sympathetic to another person’s perspective. Yes \*\*JohnClay \*\*- just google “[fistula](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rectovaginal_fistula)”. That should put you off of the idea of allowing a baby to come out of your wife’s vagina. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/87 "2014-07-15T20:06:06Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Yes \*\*JohnClay \*\*- just google “[fistula](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rectovaginal_fistula)”. That should put you off of the idea of allowing a baby to come out of your wife’s vagina. Should we tell him about the mucus plug? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/88 "2014-07-15T21:27:47Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Cassius if it’s a boy. Maida if it’s a girl. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/89 "2014-07-16T02:02:36Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > A few weeks of working in a daycare setting and she’ll be wanting her tubes tied… I have a married flatmate that works in childcare. She’s not allowed to give kids time-out or spank them but she wants to spank her own kids - maybe she thinks the problem with daycare kids is they can’t be spanked. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/90 "2014-07-16T02:10:33Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Nice to see how you’ve taken to heart the instructions to stop posting slightly unnervingly creepy threads about your relationship with your wife, John. I did as I was asked - I stopped them entirely for about a month then I’m only doing one thread at a time. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/91 "2014-07-16T02:11:34Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Looking after other people’s kids is to having your own as stubbing a toe is to amputating a leg. IOW, not even close to the same. It was intended as a test… not the only test but an initial test. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/92 "2014-07-16T02:14:06Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > One might presume that since [you find your wife to be ugly](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17399114&postcount=45),… In that quote of me, it began with her calling herself ugly once. So you’re being dishonest by thinking that quote said that I find her to be ugly. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/93 "2014-07-16T02:17:45Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > The sure fire way to get someone to stop nagging at you is to nag at them even more and they will see how annoying it and stop nagging themselves. People often imitate and mirror other people. If they think that nagging will get them what they want I think they’d want to keep on doing it. BTW my wife said that I always seem to get my way… that would be partly due to nagging. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/94 "2014-07-16T02:21:59Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Your wife is, no doubt, very hurt by your constant barrage of casual cruelty… I share private thoughts on these messageboards that sometimes aren’t very filtered. I’m more careful in real life. > [@](#): > > Not that I know why any of us bother trying to reason with you. You don’t seem the least bit concerned about what kind of life the kid would have, only how it would affect your life. Which is a really great sign that you would be a horrible parent. Actually I think our house would be too small for the child and I’m quite worried about that. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/95 "2014-07-16T02:25:05Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > A few weeks of working in a daycare setting and she’ll be wanting her tubes tied… In posts 68 and 69 I said that this was _instead_ of having a baby… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/96 "2014-07-16T02:41:56Z")
BTW about a day ago I was showing my wife a DVD about raising newborns. Then last night I showed her a segment about postnatal depression. In it guys and mothers were talking about how unhappy they were about having a baby. I think that helped persuade my wife that maybe a child is a bad idea. BTW my married flatmate and her husband are trying to have two babies. She’s been having tests and she has a 3% chance of ever becoming pregnant for some reason. She might try IVF in the future. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/97 "2014-07-16T02:51:38Z")
Two people with mental illnesses shouldn’t have kids. It’s not fair to the kid, even if they’re in the half that don’t inherit your various mental health issues. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/98 "2014-07-16T02:52:10Z")
Please stop telling him to get a pet. He does not-nice things to pets. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/99 "2014-07-16T02:59:20Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I have a married flatmate that works in childcare. She’s not allowed to give kids time-out or spank them but she wants to spank her own kids - maybe she thinks the problem with daycare kids is they can’t be spanked. I used to be on the fence about the whole spanking issue before I had a kid, now that I have had one I realize spanking does have its place. For mobile but pre-reason kids spanking(bare hand on buttocks) is essential for dangerous or life threatening things. You simply cannot explain to a two year old how dangerous attempting to dash into the street is, but a quick spanking gets the point across. Ditto for stuff like turning the knob and starting the gas range, knocking over a table full of plates and drinking glasses etc etc. This is the only value I’ve found in spanking, once children have reason and can understand at least vaguely deadly dangers spanking is no longer much use. I have little respect for someone that relies on spanking for a child over six, or possibly their child has a issue they should deal with. People that spank teenagers are insane or fetishists. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058/100 "2014-07-16T03:07:46Z")
OK, I know I’m focusing on the wrong thing here, but what the hell is “light” sexual contact? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-baby/693058.md?page=6)