# My wife wants a tattoo. Actually, lots & lots of tattoos. Thoughts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 16, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563 "2008-05-16T16:11:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/41 "2008-05-17T01:35:33Z")
[QUOTE=Dante] Oh yeah, there’s that too. Tattooing is espensive! BTW, don’t haggle price. It’s just not done. [/QUOTE] Okay. So the friend who gave us the matching tattoos as a wedding present was being really, really generous, and I was nearly appreciative enough when I said, “Thanks, dude, you rock.” Right? (Yes, we sent a thank-you card, but still…) ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/42 "2008-05-17T02:33:13Z")
[QUOTE=lunar elf] I’m an avid fan of the shows Miami and LA Ink. [/QUOTE] I wouldn’t get a tattoo at LA Ink if you paid me to do it. Watching Kat Von D., who is a professional tattoo artist with an ostensibly good reputation, do things like touching her hair, body, furniture, and various non-sterile surfaces with the same gloves she tattoos people with is… horrifying. I once saw her pause in the middle of a tattoo and _shake hands with someone_ without removing or changing her gloves. /shudder Re: Mrs. Rymer’s tattoo plan: totally bears the stink of impulse-tattoo to me. A full backpiece and sleeves is a hard-core commitment to the world of tattoos, and I’m firmly of the opinion she should wait at least a year before deciding that this is, in fact, something she really and truly wants to wear on her hide for the rest of her life, and not a passing fancy. If a year seems like too long to wait, imagine how much time “the rest of your life” is.\* About cost, my tattoo artist makes $175/hr. I get a substantial cost break because I have my work done in full-day sessions, but I still have many thousands of dollars into my skin and am nowhere near finished. It took me almost ten years to find an artist I liked and trusted to do the work I wanted done. For the record, I did ask NajaHusband his opinion on the matter before starting–after all, he’s the one that’s going to have to look at it for the next fifty or sixty years. If he had really and truly objected, I might not have done it, but his response was “it’s your body, do whatever you want with it”. Good guy ;). \*hopefully, a lot! ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/43 "2008-05-17T03:46:21Z")
This may be uncharitable, and I don’t want to make you paranoid, but I recall n couple we hung around for some time as friends. Out of the blue wanted to get a tattoo. Like, a really big one, and that person never been tattoo’d, or pierced or anything, and it seemed unlike them. But sure, okay, you want a tattoo, I understand, its cool. The marriage broke up shortly after – that side of the couple decided they wanted more changes than just a tattoo. So: is tattoo wantage in your case a symptom, or just a hobby? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/44 "2008-05-17T09:22:22Z")
[QUOTE=constantine] Here’s my issue with tatoos generally. I look at pictures of my self from 20 years ago, and the shirt I was wearing. And I think “that shirt looks kind of stupid. I can’t believe I actually liked that shirt.” And then I think “wow, I’m really glad that I don’t \*\*have to wear something for the rest of my life \*\* just because I liked it at one time.” [/QUOTE] Pretty much how I view them. Not to mention the number of times I’ve purchased a shirt that I thought was really nice only to find out I was the only person who thought so. There is nothing that I wore 30 years ago that I would want to wear today. Imagine being stuck wearing brightly colored bell-bottoms with a big belt buckle and tinted aviator glasses. I know a lot of people with tats and few of them have really good artwork. And there is an obvious degradation in artwork as people age. Old-age spots, saggy skin, and wrinkles do nothing for a tattoo. It would be nice if there was a process where you could submit artwork to a company and a temporary tattoo was printed out in a way that could be transferred easily. It could then be worn like a shirt to avoid the pitfalls of time. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/45 "2008-05-17T09:32:49Z")
Well something that I reminded a tattoo artist of as he was giving me a 6 inch crucifix on my forearm was that in fact, tattoos are not “Oh so permanent” as many detractors like to point out. We’ll all be dead soon and unless somebody makes a lampshade out of your ass, it wont be seen again. I know, just doing my daily reality check. Have a nice day. ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/46 "2008-05-17T10:49:38Z")
In my line of work (massage therapist) I see quite a lot of body art, fresh and not-so-fresh. Women (in particular) like to talk when they’re on the table and I’ve noted a correlation between the elaborateness of the tat and the centrality of it to their line of discussion. Big, fancy tat = big issues of control between them and somebody, sometimes father, sometimes other women, usually boyfriend or spouse or girlfriend/lover. There are always veneers of “art,” and those can be quite dominant in the case of very spectacular pieces on very spectacular bodies, but there always seems to be another person in the picture when someone gets a tat. For them, because of them, in spite of them, in disregard of them, in denial of their significance, etc. So, **Skald’s** concerns (in my view) are well founded. She’s working something out. But the issue isn’t really about body art. It’s about marriage. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/47 "2008-05-17T13:43:20Z")
[QUOTE=sunacres] … there always seems to be another person in the picture when someone gets a tat. For them, because of them, in spite of them, in disregard of them, in denial of their significance, etc. So, **Skald’s** concerns (in my view) are well founded. She’s working something out. But the issue isn’t really about body art. It’s about marriage. [/QUOTE] I’ll say that this isn’t true for all, and it’s certainly not true for me, but I can understand how it might be true for some. Including **Mrs. R**. That’s one of several reasons I suggest she wait a significant amount of time–to be sure this is really about the ink. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/48 "2008-05-17T13:44:27Z")
[QUOTE=squeegee] This may be uncharitable, and I don’t want to make you paranoid, but I recall n couple we hung around for some time as friends. Out of the blue wanted to get a tattoo. Like, a really big one, and that person never been tattoo’d, or pierced or anything, and it seemed unlike them. But sure, okay, you want a tattoo, I understand, its cool. The marriage broke up shortly after – that side of the couple decided they wanted more changes than just a tattoo. So: is tattoo wantage in your case a symptom, or just a hobby? [/QUOTE] Can I counter your single piece of anecdotal evidence with my single piece of anecdotal evidence? Because that same thing happened to us, and the ‘issues’ were dealt with in an adult manner and we’re a pretty damn good couple as a result. As far as people with tats having issues. EVERYBODY has issues. It’s a natural result of being born. It’s what you do with them that matters and **Skald** and his wife, if they have a healthy relationship, should be fine with whatever she chooses. If they do NOT have a healthy relationship, then the tattoo is a symptom, not a cause, of a much bigger thing. But I don’t get that vibe from this. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/49 "2008-05-17T14:04:45Z")
[QUOTE=Unintentionally Blank] Can I counter your single piece of anecdotal evidence with my single piece of anecdotal evidence? Because that same thing happened to us, and the ‘issues’ were dealt with in an adult manner and we’re a pretty damn good couple as a result. [/QUOTE] Cool. Not everyone is an adult all the time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/50 "2008-05-17T15:17:39Z")
I’m not a fan of tattoos for myself, but your wife is an adult. I think the artist’s advice to take your feelings into account is good. My advice for my young children (at this point they are rules, they are eight and nine - but when they are adults, they are advice). 1. No tattoos until you are an adult 2. No tattoos until you have wanted the same art in the same place for AT LEAST a year, and preferably more 3. No tattoos that cannot be covered up under normal everyday clothes if you want - you may discover (as a friend of mine has) that visible tats on a schoolteacher make parents upset - make sure your tats can be covered without too much effort (long sleeves all the time, seem to me to be too much effort) 4. Consider your theme - in my observation, many people end up with more than one tattoo - and as your tastes change over time, so will your taste in tattoos. Assume your first will not be your last and remember that unlike choosing lamps for the living room that can be easily replaced, you have to work around it for the rest of your life. With this in mind, my recommendation is that your wife spend a good deal of time thinking about it (and you as well) - things like tattoos and major home remodeling shouldn’t be done spontaneously - or even with only a few weeks of thought. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/51 "2008-05-17T15:42:49Z")
My wife has for some time now been agitating to get tattooed. Although I’m not generally a fan of body alteration, I’ve been unwilling to give her my blessing for this project for an entirely different reason. She’s going through an angry political phase, and she wants to shock and disturbn other people. My thinking is, “No tatoos when you’re angry and want to disturb people…and no shocking/disgusting things on your naked body please, speaking as the person most likely to be viewing.” She also wants a memorial to a deceased loved one placed on her chest. I, um, with all due respect, don’t want to grieve every time I see her naked. So far she’s respected my disagreement and refrainedfrom getting tattoos, but she’s impulsive. I live with constant low-level concern of having to stare at angry political ads and dead loved ones every time I see my wife’s body. Urgh. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![drpepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@drpepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drpepper)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/52 "2008-05-17T16:10:31Z")
[QUOTE=sunacres] In my line of work (massage therapist) I see quite a lot of body art, fresh and not-so-fresh. Women (in particular) like to talk when they’re on the table and I’ve noted a correlation between the elaborateness of the tat and the centrality of it to their line of discussion. Big, fancy tat = big issues of control between them and somebody, sometimes father, sometimes other women, usually boyfriend or spouse or girlfriend/lover. There are always veneers of “art,” and those can be quite dominant in the case of very spectacular pieces on very spectacular bodies, but there always seems to be another person in the picture when someone gets a tat. For them, because of them, in spite of them, in disregard of them, in denial of their significance, etc. [/QUOTE] Wow what an interesting observation. Seriously. Thanks for sharing this. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/53 "2008-05-17T16:18:29Z")
Isn’t there some lasting but non-permanent body paints she could experiment with for a while before making the tattoo-commitment? For a while, I was wondering- “What’s the T in TMILF and TGIF?” Then it hit me- "TATTOOED!!! DUH!!! :smack: " ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/54 "2008-05-17T16:21:02Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] I wrote ‘conflicted,’ but I bring that up only to be pedantic. A couple more occurred to me in the last few minutes. 1. I agree with my wife that the design she drew, done by an appropriately skillful artist, would be beautiful. TMILF’s example is quite proof enough that it can be sexy. [/quote] Well, OK, let’s say that’s a positive. I also think it’s very positive she is giving this significant thought before proceeding. > [@](#): > > 1. But it would be a lot of tattoos, done over a great deal of time, and that seems to me likely to be very painful. I don’t like the idea of her being in avoidable pain. Does she have any tattoos now? If not, she might want to have a small tattoo done first, to make sure she really understands pain/healing involved. Also, although it is rare, a few people can have bad reactions to tattoo inks. It would be better to find this out with a small tattoo than a large one. > [@](#): > > 1. Health concerns. TMILF says she is very care about hygiene, maintaining a sterile environment, and so forth, but the sheer volume of tattoos that would be involved here seems to me to increase the risk of something unforeseen and dangerous occurring. IF the tattoo artist uses state of the art hygiene the risks aren’t huge, BUT any breaking of the skin risks infection. There are some risks, manageable risks, but they are risks. > [@](#): > > 1. Discretion. Tatttoos make it harder to get certain jobs. Admittedly, my wife has taken this into account; as she envisions the tattoo, it would be invisible whenever she had long a dark-colored, long-sleeved blouse. But what if she wanted to to wear a short-sleeved top at work because it was hot? I’ve known bosses who would not allow that if she were displaying such a tattoo. In the scenario you mention she would not be able to wear a short sleeve shirt. You are correct, there are long-term consequences here. > [@](#): > > 1. Control. Because of the age disparity between us, and my previous history of being a manipulative asshole, and some issues in my wife’s past I won’t go into, I work very hard at not telling her what to do, at not trying to be her daddy. I think she would feel obliged not to get the tattoo if I told her that I was mostly opposed, but that just doesn’t seem fair to me. Her body is her property, not mine. I don’t want her to feel pressured. Would it be out of line to ask her to hold off on this for six months to _make sure_ she still really wants to do this? ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/55 "2008-05-17T21:22:31Z")
If you were taken aback by the likely costs of the tattoo, I suggest you guys both also price tattoo removal. Maybe someone out there also has statistics on what percentage of people eventually get tattoos removed. This site says 17% consider it [Tattoo remorse fuels boom for dermatologists - CNN.com](http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/09/10/hm.tattoo.removal/index.html) (The site also mentions new, easily removable ink under development that someone mentioned upthread). I once briefly considered getting tattoos of some formulas that would be helpful on the GRE quantitative portion, but decided against it. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/56 "2008-05-18T00:23:32Z")
[QUOTE=constantine] I look at pictures of my self from 20 years ago, and the shirt I was wearing. And I think “that shirt looks kind of stupid. I can’t believe I actually liked that shirt.” And then I think “wow, I’m really glad that I don’t \*\*have to wear something for the rest of my life \*\* just because I liked it at one time.” [/QUOTE] Thank you. That’s exactly how I feel, but couldn’t put it into words. If tattooing was as in vogue when I was young as it is now, I’d probably be going around with a Rolling Stones tongue-and-lips logo on my body somewhere. Trouble is, I don’t really listen to the Stones much, and haven’t for 15 years or more, and they don’t mean anything to me now. But as a teen, I was a huge fan. Things change, but ink stays. I would not get a tattoo for aesthetic reasons, one of which is that they look crisp and colourful when new, and frankly, quite shitty when old–faded and blurred, and invariably some blue-grey shade. Just my thoughts, your body ain’t my body, and if it harm none, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/57 "2008-05-18T00:25:45Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] I live with constant low-level concern of having to stare at angry political ads and dead loved ones every time I see my wife’s body. [/QUOTE] I know that wasn’t meant to be funny, but bwah! Yeah. That would kind of put me out of the mood, too. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/58 "2008-05-18T01:31:57Z")
I used to own a powder-blue, polyester leisure suit and I am thankful I’m not wearing it currently. My folks were in show business and had lots of interesting friends including “carnival” people. I know what a 80 year old woman covered with tattoos looks like, and yes…it looks a lot less pleasant than an 80 year old woman not covered with tattoos. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/59 "2008-05-18T03:13:42Z")
I thought, though I could be wrong, that the issue of inks blurring and fading to a big blue mess as they get old is something that basically doesn’t even happen anymore since the inks used today are much better than what was used in the 30s & 40s? ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563/60 "2008-05-18T04:13:37Z")
[QUOTE=Eyebrows 0f Doom] I thought, though I could be wrong, that the issue of inks blurring and fading to a big blue mess as they get old is something that basically doesn’t even happen anymore since the inks used today are much better than what was used in the 30s & 40s? [/QUOTE] I haven’t seen any evidence of that. My niece’s boyfriend has a bunch of tattoos including Jack Skellington (of “The Nightmare Before Christmas” - how’s that for one that will mean something in 30 years time?) and it’s already gone soft in 3 years time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-a-tattoo-actually-lots-lots-of-tattoos-thoughts/449563.md?page=4)