# My wife wants pepper spray, what do you think? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2006, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158 "2006-10-27T19:01:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/41 "2006-10-28T20:02:53Z")
[QUOTE=Crafter\_Man] If both of you are serious about her self protection, don’t screw around… she should have a handgun. Her fear of guns is most likely manifestation of ignorance about guns & shooting. So IMO you should take her to the range and teach her about shooting & guns. If possible, go to a range that allows shooters to rent guns, and have her try out lots of different makes and models. [/QUOTE] I agree with the fear-born-of-ignorance part, but, I don’t think a handgun is the end-all-be-all top level of protection. The thing I like about a real self-defense classes (and we can mini-rant about quality of instuctor and systems, if ya want) learning about the simple things that keep one protected. Awareness of self and surroundings, etc. Plus learning how to chew through biceps like a raw steak and how pinching someone on the ribs while twisting is painful enough to get many attackers off of you, is a bonus. But in the situations listed in the OP I would say a system and a mobile phone will provide greater protection than pepper spray or even a gun. Setup a system with your wife that she must follow every single time she goes on a housecall. Something like (but adjusted for her own reality as necessary): 1. Call you or responsible office mate (who have the information on the house and people, etc) whens she arrives in the car. 2. Have her speak on the phone as she enters the house, saying something like “Sure, I’m here at the Smith’s home, I’ll call you in 10 minutes when I’m done.” 3. You or office mate calls back in 10 minutes. She answers and says if she is leaving or will be in “X minutes.” If she answers in a certain way, like “This is Carol” when her name is ??? you call the cops. 4. She calls y’all when she is back in the car. This sets up a system that if something ain’t kosher, there are a few times that someone else can call the police (and don’t hesitate to do so, cops won’t yell too hard if you have an established procedure that you inform them about). Also, this conveys information to the people there that “I am in contact with someone outside of this room and they expect to be hearing from me real soon.” A far higher level of protection, IMHO, and only costs $0.25 in phone charges each time. It doesn’t sound like this is a frequent thing, so, shouldn’t be too hard to keep up. -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![FRDE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e68b1a/32.png) [@FRDE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FRDE)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/42 "2006-10-29T11:37:19Z")
I’m strongly in favour of the ‘take a self defence course’ school of thought. Having a weopon but not knowing how to use it, or not being prepared to use it, is more dangerous than having none. A good self defence course should be aimed at avoiding situations, eg recognizing signals and defusing things. From your point of view, it might be rather interesting to see what they teach them. Incidentally a high decibel rape alarm would provide distraction, and it could not be used against your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/43 "2006-10-29T12:35:18Z")
[QUOTE=Tomcat] I don’t think a handgun is the end-all-be-all top level of protection. [/QUOTE] I agree to a certain extent. But also keep in mind that a handgun - along with lots of training - is the _ **best** _ defensive tool you can have. I can’t speak for FMG or his wife, but when it comes to protecting _ **my** _ life, I want the best tool possible. My life means a lot to me. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/44 "2006-10-29T15:09:16Z")
There is no perfect solution. What "T"cat said. Awareness training. Best thing is to just not go there. If that is a minor part of the job and she can refuse some, then she can refuse all ‘iffy’ situations or areas or people. Can she actually hurt someone? She really needs to find that out before she goes on to any of the other ideas. - If you have not killed your ‘grackle’, you don’t really know.\* ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/45 "2006-10-29T16:10:44Z")
Since the sniping between **Oakminster** and **Stranger On A Train** has died down, I’d appreciate it if nobody stirs the embers. It was not really appropriate for IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/46 "2006-10-29T19:09:01Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] You need a new book. > **[Stand-your-ground law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stand-your-ground_law)** > > A stand-your-ground law, sometimes called a "line in the sand" or "no duty to retreat" law, provides that people may use deadly force when they reasonably believe it to be necessary to defend against certain violent crimes (right of self-defense). Under such a law, people have no duty to retreat before using deadly force in self-defense, so long as they are in a place where they are lawfully present. The exact details vary by jurisdiction. The alternative to stand your ground is "duty to retrea... Or, if you can spare the time from gratuitous snark, you might try googling it yourself. [/QUOTE] Stranger using a “gratuitous snark,”? That is a contradiction in terms. His views are always well-considered and well stated. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/47 "2006-10-29T19:16:44Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] Again with the gratuitous snark. Last time I checked, this board ain’t a fucking court. Wikipedia is commonly cited here–and “Stand your ground” is the popular name for that law. Perfectly adequate for my intended purposes. It’s attitudes like yours that give friendly Dopers a bad image. [/QUOTE] I’m on Stranger’s side. Suggesting that just because Florida state law has changed to allow the more liberal use of guns, that makes them better than non-lethal force for everyone is silly. The OP referred t specifically to pepper spray-a non-lethal defense weapon. Bringing up something that is in a different category as an option isn’t terribly helpful. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/48 "2006-10-29T19:19:52Z")
[QUOTE=Frank] Since the sniping between **Oakminster** and **Stranger On A Train** has died down, I’d appreciate it if nobody stirs the embers. It was not really appropriate for IMHO. [/QUOTE] Oops. sorry about my comments. I should have stayed out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/49 "2006-10-29T20:39:26Z")
[QUOTE=rbroome] Stranger using a “gratuitous snark,”? That is a contradiction in terms. His views are always well-considered and well stated. [/QUOTE] My request to not stir the embers had been up for three hours before you posted this. Consider this a warning. Your apology is noted. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/50 "2006-10-30T03:31:35Z")
I’m with all the posters who feel a gun is the wrong way to go in this situation. If she doesn’t like guns what are the odds she would be ready/willing to use one effectively? Besides, firearms require a fair amount of knowledge and mental preparedness to use well. About the only people who have those kinds of skills are cops and the U.S. Army. (And I wonder about some of them). I’m a supporter of gun rights, but not of encouraging someone opposed to the idea of using them. The self-defense techniques most likely to be effective are those she is most ready, willing, and able to use. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/51 "2006-10-30T03:54:52Z")
[QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] So, what do you think? [/QUOTE] Crime statistics support one, and only one weapon: the gun. The problem for you is that your wife is putting herself into harm’s way, and simply having a gun is not going to be what she needs when she’s **set up** in a rape situation. If she’s traipsing into a trap, the best solution is to stop doing such fucking stupid shit. And I say that _because_ I knew someone who quit doing stuff like that because of the danger she faced. This is IMHO, and IMHO, pepper spray won’t do shit to protect her. If she cannot arrange for better meeting circumstances, then she needs to weigh the value of her job vs. the risk she feels she faces. ---
**Author:** ![kinoons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kinoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kinoons)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/52 "2006-10-30T04:01:53Z")
I want to second the recommendation for a taser. The few times I’ve seen it used it dropped the subject like a sack of potatoes. The civilian version can discharge for 30 seconds, you just drop it and run. Then, the company will replace it for free if you use it in self defense. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158/53 "2006-10-30T05:42:56Z")
[QUOTE=js\_africanus] If she’s traipsing into a trap, the best solution is to stop doing such fucking stupid shit. And I say that _because_ I knew someone who quit doing stuff like that because of the danger she faced. [/QUOTE] You know, some people might consider what **FMG** ’s wife does to be noble and worthy of admiration, rather than “stupid shit”. If I misread your post, then I apologise. My two cents: regardless of how much training she undergoes, your wife is presumably going to be reasonably concerned about the welfare of her student (patient?). I’m doubtful that she would ever be comfortable discharging a firearm in close proximity to a child. I second the taser suggestions, but with the caveat that they require lots of training too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-wants-pepper-spray-what-do-you-think/378158.md?page=2)