# My wife woke up with my thumb in her butt.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-woke-up-with-my-thumb-in-her-butt/96161>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 30, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-woke-up-with-my-thumb-in-her-butt/96161 "2001-11-30T17:55:17Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 2

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-woke-up-with-my-thumb-in-her-butt/96161/21 "2001-12-01T13:12:33Z")

</div>

Mrs. Hamlet is indeed a Saint. Which begs the question, is there a patron saint of inadvertant rectal probing? However, Mrs. Hamlet is also a quite quick witted. When we got up this morning, I asked her if I did anything in my sleep last night. She said:

“Unlike night before last, you weren’t a pain in the ass last night.”

Teehee.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-woke-up-with-my-thumb-in-her-butt/96161/22 "2001-12-01T16:14:57Z")

</div>

What, still no replies from **Duck Duck Goose**?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-woke-up-with-my-thumb-in-her-butt/96161/23 "2001-12-01T20:43:39Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Hamlet \*  
> My left hand had a grip on her shoulder, and my right had was clenching her, ummm, err, buttocks. My thumb was positioned, not quite in, but uncomfortably close to, ummm, errrr, how do I say it, her… Well, I think you get the picture…It ends up I was having a very, very, bad nightmare, and, in my head, I was grabbing for my 11 mo. old little girl.

So, do you often reach for your kid by holding her shoulder and sticking your thumb up her butt in times of emergency?

😉

::d&r::

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![neuseance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@neuseance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuseance)\
**Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-woke-up-with-my-thumb-in-her-butt/96161/24 "2001-12-03T21:55:08Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sophie \*  
> \*\*Oh man, I hope he doesn’t read this. Mr. Sophie really, really likes me in his sleep, and I seem to wake up pretty frequently while he’s going down. \*\*

[sub]Psst . . . Mr. Neuse, you awake? . . .

no, no . . . go back to sleep, honey . . . [/sub]

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wife-woke-up-with-my-thumb-in-her-butt/96161.md?page=1)