# My wife's ass **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 22, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677 "2005-03-22T03:31:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/21 "2005-03-22T07:13:54Z")
> [@Reeder](#): > > Seems to me there is a rule about joke threads. What are you, six years old? ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/22 "2005-03-22T07:26:22Z")
> [@Reeder](#): > > Ms Bodini doesn’t agree. Fair enough. Let’s make it pit-friendly then - Fuck off mini-mod. As for the OP, women only poot gentle pink cotton balls which smell like the breath of baby angels. Therefore, I can only conclude your wife is actually a man. I’m sorry to break this to you. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/23 "2005-03-22T07:35:03Z")
> [@Purd Werfect](#): > > As for the OP, women only poot gentle pink cotton balls which smell like the breath of baby angels. Have you ever _smelled_ the breath of a baby angel? It’d make a yak’s eyes water. Makes you wonder what they feed 'em up there. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/24 "2005-03-22T07:42:40Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > It’s the San Andreas fart! The true crack of doom. > > Enjoy, > Steven Actually, I think that would more properly be the **Hayward Fart**. Just sayin’… Sam ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/25 "2005-03-22T08:02:55Z")
> [@Reeder](#): > > Ms Bodini doesn’t agree. And I’m sure she will be glad to know that you’re speaking for her. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/26 "2005-03-22T09:22:11Z")
> [@DrLoveGun](#): > > Would it be wrong to put a cork in it so I can have some fresh air? Yes. The prejudice in favour of corks over screw-caps is totally wrong-headed. Cork, you must remember, may contain _trichloroanisole_, which can spoil your wife’s delicate bouquet. If you think you’re unhappy now, it’s clear that you’ve never experienced the dreaded Cork Taint. It absolutely _ruins_ the nose. Take my advice: Go with a screw every time, and if you want to properly appreciate the finish, remember your retronasal breathing. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/27 "2005-03-22T10:35:55Z")
I wonder if your wife is my friend’s cousin or something. When we used to play D&D, I used to say he had an ass weapon instead of a breath weapon. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/28 "2005-03-22T12:32:45Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > You are mean. Tonight I extract my revenge. > > Remember, I am a delicate flower of womanhood and you would be lost without my delicate charms. It’s like we are seperated at birth. I have always maintained that I am a ‘delicate hothouse flower’ and that He Who Is Perfect & Without Fault would wander around clueless without my gentle guiding ways. and sarcasm. Loads of sarcasm. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/29 "2005-03-22T13:58:34Z")
> [@ntucker](#): > > What are you, six years old? [brownnoser]Miss Finkle! Miss Finkle! You forgot to give us homework![/BN] ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/30 "2005-03-22T14:43:42Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Take my advice: Go with a screw every time, and if you want to properly appreciate the finish, remember your retronasal breathing. Or a synthetic cork. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/31 "2005-03-22T14:50:04Z")
Without wanting to offend the Moderator Powers, I shall refrain from making a joke about the new blue collar farts. No corks or synethic posers. Fart in a box. It would be in bad taste. so to speak. I hope I don’t blow anyone away with my wittiness. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/32 "2005-03-22T14:56:04Z")
In reference to IMHO DrLoveGun’s thread about the chances of getting inkleberry pregnant again if they have sex right now, I think the question now would be what are his chances of even having sex again? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/33 "2005-03-22T15:24:03Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Take my advice: Go with a screw every time…\ You are a wise, wise man. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/34 "2005-03-22T18:05:45Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Sounds like you have a weapon of mass destruction, a delivery mechanism, and the will to use it. > > Goodbye California. Wouldn’t that be a weapon of **ass** destruction? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/35 "2005-03-22T18:57:51Z")
> [@GaWd](#): > > Actually, I think that would more properly be the **Hayward Fart**. Just sayin’… > > Sam Damnit! I sent Frodo to the wrong crack! Poor little guy. Enjoy, Gandalf ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/36 "2005-03-22T19:01:04Z")
Would somebody interrupt my mad giggling and tell me what the heck is going on here? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/37 "2005-03-22T19:17:16Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Would somebody interrupt my mad giggling and tell me what the heck is going on here? [Sure](http://www.cafepress.com/lsuchat.177825). ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/38 "2005-03-22T19:34:50Z")
Basically, we’re trying to undo all the evil of the One Reek. You know, the one in the poem? One reek to foul them all One reek to blind them One reek to offend them all and rule the darkness behind them To this end, we have pledged ourselves. To stop these evil emanations, or to perish in the asstempt. Our weapon of choice was first a cork, but we have instead decided to screw it. What say ye? Will you aid us, or thwart us? Choose swiftly, the wind of the black land is breaking upon us. And we can not endure the wind much longer. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/39 "2005-03-22T19:53:03Z")
It’s an ill wind that blows no good. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677/40 "2005-03-22T20:09:18Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > …we have instead decided to screw it. If you decide to screw it, then be sure to have some towels for the santorum - the frothy mixture - that often results [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-wifes-ass/295677.md?page=3)