IMO, no. The primary qualification of a zombie is that it is a reanimated human corpse.
Robots, golems, etc may act properly mindless and violent, but they are not reanimated humans.
Its been a while since I saw “The Zeppo” but I was planning on watching the series again in preparation for Season 5 of Angel being released on DVD, so I’ll just re-watch that episode first.
Season 5 of Angel has another variation of the Zombies as well.
I believe that after the mass infections, the airborne viral agent died off very fast (it was about 3-4 hours between the deaths and the squad arriving), and the only vectoring was then via bites/scratches etc.
IIRC, Universal Soldiers needed to be kept cool otherwise they would overheat and die. They can actually live quasi-normal lives provided they take periodic treatments for their overheating problem.
They’re diseased humans, not dead, but they are explictly mentioned as the source of zombie mythology, so how about the Vampires/Zombies from I am Legend / The Last man on Earth/ The Omega Man.
I’ll give a write-up when I’m home from work. You also forgot Raimi-Type Zombies (aka Deadites).
How about…
Creepshow Zombie
Type: Reanimated corpse
Source: The movie Creepshow
Reason for existence: seeks to right a past wrong
Method of destruction: Cake
And of course:
Zomboni
Source: National Hockey League
Reason for existence: seeks to smooth the ice
Method of destruction: Icing (not on the cake)
So, like, do you have a quick-and-dirty guide for identifying what kind of zombie you’re being attacked by so you know how to destroy it without a lot of time-wasting experimentation?
'Cause, unless they’re incredibly fast moving (thus narrowing it down to either Rage or Gunn zombies) or they’re banging on my window demanding my brain, which would mean they’re O’Bannon types, they pretty much all look alike when you’re inside your house boarding up the windows and hoping to hell a mass push doesn’t break the boards or push the nails out of the walls.
How about the Cauldron born, from Welsh mythology and Lloyd Alexander’s Prydain Chronicles? Annwn of the underworld had a cauldron that would make dead men dipped in it into mindless soldiers.
Anything that can live “a normal life” is, by definition, not a zombie, with the possible exception of the Discworld variety, and even they have a pretty wide definition of “normal.”
I pretty much regarded the Creepshow zombie as another kind of Revenant. Coming back to avenge one’s own murder is right up there in Revenant motivations.
Body Snatchers, I didn’t regard as human… I understood them to be vegetable alien life forms who had assumed the forms and assimilated the memories of their victims. Not human at all.
The vampires of Matheson’s *I Am Legend * could fit the definition of zombie.
Matheson Vampire
Type: reanimated corpse
Source: The book I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson, filmed as The Last Man On Earth, starring Vincent Price
Reason For Existence: bacterial plague
Notes: The Matheson Vampire comes in two forms – infected living humans, and reanimated corpses. Those killed by the bacterium are reanimated after death to seek out yet more blood to feed the germ.
Deceased plague victims suffer brain damage caused by death, to some extent; many reanimated vampires retained the power of speech and some reasoning abilities. It is also worth noting that infected persons often began to seek out blood to feed the germ BEFORE dying, thus staving off death.
Method Of Destruction: Living Matheson Vampires can withstand direct sunlight for short periods of time, and can be killed by any means that would kill an ordinary humans; we can also presume that they would tend towards the anemic, due to the bacteria preying on their blood tissue. Deceased Matheson Vampires, on the other hand, are more resistant to destruction. Their weaknesses include sunlight (which causes the bacteria in the body to react badly) and allowing oxygen directly into the bloodstream, by way of a deep cut or puncture (the bacteria are anaerobic, and are killed by oxygen; without the bacteria, the deceased vampires immediately die). Note that gunfire wounds tend to self-seal fairly quickly on the dead ones; bullet wounds would knock them over, but almost never allowed enough air in to allow the vampire to catalyze and die.
**Raimi Zobie (Deadite)[/B]
Type: Reanimated Corpse / Demon
Source: The Evil Dead films and subsidary video games and comics
Origin: Animated by the dark powers of the Necronomicon.
Notes: The Deadites are arguably one of the less terrifying, but more directly deadly weapons in the Necronomicon’s arsenal. They come in free types:
The Possessed are living beings possessed by the Necronomicon’s dark powers. The posesse can free himself through supreme effort of will, but theya re otherwise identical to The Evil Dead, which are true zombies. They posess high average human speed and strength, although they tend to have jerky movements, and can speak with demonic voices, often taunting or trying to trick their prey. Advanced Deadites are human corpses twisted into monstrous forms.
Method of Destruction: Only total dismemberment. Posessed can be cured by sunlight, efforts of will, or destruction of the local deadites.
Identifying Marks: Pale skin, glassy white eyes, jerky movements, prophecizing doom in demonic voices.
Plan-9 Creature
**Type:**Technologically Reanimated Corpse
Source: The movie Plan 9 from Outer Space, by Ed Wood Jr.
Reason For Existence: As part of a confusing and poorly designed extraterrestrial plot (“Plan 9”), long-distance electrodes shot into the pinion pituitary glands of recent dead, resulting in reanimation. Once enough of the “dead recruits” had been raised, the aliens would have marched them on the capitals of Earth, forcing humanity to acknowledge the aliens’ existence.
Notes: The creatures show no signs of intelligence, or independent thought, much less independent action. They seem to have enough brain activity to control fairly basic motor skills, such as walking…but it is possible that they are simply computer controlled, with their carcasses merely serving as an unusual sort of “robot.” They are typically controlled by an alien “Electrode Gun.” If the “electrode ray” is deactivated, the creatures become motionless, although they will hold whatever position they were last left in while the ray was active. (Until knocked over, at least.)
The creatures move very slowly, and have no appetite for flesh. Since the creatures are said to “stink awfully bad,” it seems that they continue to decay normally after reanimation.
Method Of Destruction: The “dead recruits” seemed unaffected by gunfire to the torso; the effects of gunshots to the head and/or brain have not been seen (although if they are being animated by electrical stimulation of the brain, destroying the brain would probably be effective). The creatures could be easily re-killed by an alien “Decomposure Ray,” which reduced their bodies to skeletons.
And, as above, when the electrodes driving the creatures are deactivated, they become somewhat more vulnerable to attack.
link to the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency
Some interesting stuff in here
…oh, man. How could I have forgotten about Tor, Vampira, and Ed’s wife’s chiropractor?
Carpenter ZombieType I *
Type: Reanimated Corpse / Alien
Source: John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars
Origin: Animated by an alien microbe that once colonised Mars
Notes: Infecting anyone and everyone they come into contact with in an attempt to cleanse Mars of all intruders, the microbes are sentient possessing the memories of their former Martian Hosts (either that or the hosts turned into the microbes?).
Deadly, ruthless and fast, the host can withstand an increased amount of damage before death, which only serves to spread the microbes.
They also seem to have increased strength, but this couldn’t be confirmed.
Method of Destruction: Decapitation is the fastest route, although enough damage to the vital organs will work as well.
Microbes havent been shown to be able to be destroyed.
Identifying Marks: Once infected, the “possessed” tend to self-mutilate, in an attempt to scare their opponents.
SIZE=4]Carpenter ZombieType II aka GOON *[/SIZE]
Type: Reanimated Corpse / Vampire
Source: John Carpenter’s Vampires / John Steakleys Vampire$
Origin: Bitten by a Master Vampire(master), a goon is a transformed human.
Notes: After being bitten by a master the vampiric infection spreads through the body in a matter of hours/days.
Goons have no ability to think, can withstand massive amounts of damage, have superspeed and strength.
Method of Destruction: Goons can be killed with massive amounts of damage, but the most effective way is exposure to sunlight.
Silver Stakes through the heart also work, but it’s implied that if the stake is removed that the goon may come back to life.
Identifying Marks: foul smell, and a generally dead looking appearance, lives in a nest of 8-15 with a master.
SIZE=4]Carpenter Vampire*Type I aka Jan Valek *[/SIZE]
Type: Reanimated Corpse / incompletely assimilated demon
Source: John Carpenter’s Vampires (not actually in Steakleys Vampire$)
Origin: A former priest, had views that disagreed with the Vatican in approx. 1200 a.d. which caused them to Exorcise him using lost rites.
Unfortunately they stuffed up and caused him to become a host to a demon, the ritual was not completed so he still has some weaknesses
Notes: The source of the Vampiric infection in this universe.
Is Superstrong, Fast and Intelligent.
Is able to create Master Vampires as well as goons, and has the foresight to actually plan strategies (ie turning an entire town to help him).
Is looking for a black cross which is needed to complete the transformation into a demon and will result in him losing any weaknesses.
Shares a telepathic bond with his victims.
Method of Destruction: Sunlight is the only way to kill him, and during the night he is too strong to fight.
Identifying Marks: Very Pale and has a penchant for dressing like a goth, not to be mistaken for a Goth though because they do die rather easily even at night.
more to come later…
Asking on behalf of my seven year old - wasn’t that Lazarus guy in the bible some kind of zombie?
mm
If I recall correctly, he was a person restored to life, and presumably full possession of his faculties. Zombies by defintion either aren’t living beings or they don’t act like normal living humans. According to the myth Lazarus was a normal living person, a normal dead person, and then a normal living person once again, before finally becoming a normal dead person one last time.
Message Board Thread
Type: Reanimated discussion
Source: It came from the Internet
Origin: Necromancy, the search function
**Notes: ** Occasionally, dead threads are resurrected by board users. Besides the unnerving presence of banned or otherwise departed posters, strange ancient posting dates, and often out-of-date information, the thread retains all of its previous vitality and function. This can be used for good or for ill. Necro’d threads can lead to a renewed discussion on the topic, with new events and posters, and refreshed older posters. However, it can also sow confusion, with the sudden reappearance of lost posters and now anachronistic data, or by opening old wounds in the case of especially nasty threads. It is usually thought best to let the dead lie.
Method of Destruction: Moderator lockdown, lack of interest.
Identifying Marks: Lost or banned posters, old dates, out-of-date information.
I should take this opportunity to add that Romero Zombies, at least in some cases after some time spent “dead” are capable of simple tool use and tactics, as well as tracking over long distances. They can also develop emotions, feeling a sense of self-preservation, kinship with zombiekind, and outrage/vengefullness on their behalf.
Menocchio, that was friggen hilarious! 
thanks!
**Derleth **, wouldn’t this explain what the “W” in Jesus W. Christ* stands for? West, of course. (Last paragraph of OP)
*Not a political reference, but a bungling of Jesus H. Christ I see in newsgroups every once in a while.
Re Lazarus
I can’t find the collection, but there is a story which deals with the horror aspects of Lazarus’ return. (No spoilers) He doesn’t eat brains or anything. But, some of the decay due to being dead for three days never goes away. The tips of his fingers are blue. There are cracks on his lips. He’s slightly bloated from decomposition. But, the worst is that being dead and returning has convinced him that human life is indescribably fleeting. Looking into Lazarus’ eyes will show you exactly what he saw when he was dead, and generally leaves people as empty of hope as he is. He spends all day outside looking at the sun in some attempt to get warm or see anything except (metaphorically) darkness.
I can’t remember the author’s name. But I’m sure it was a man with a Russian name.
Lazarus By Leonid Andreyev it starts about halfway down the page. Skimming it makes me think this is a different translation than I have.