# MySpace Bullying Leads to Suicide **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 15, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555 "2007-11-15T16:38:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/121 "2007-11-19T14:31:40Z")
[QUOTE=Sleeps With Butterflies] Well, this thread is done. Gatopescado has figured it all out. Just in time, too. [/QUOTE] Figured out the solution to to harassment, or to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/122 "2007-11-19T20:05:56Z")
In case anyone’s interested, an article in the [St. Louis Post-Dispatch](http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stcharles/story/77D27634D36233968625739800167159?OpenDocument) has revealed the names of the parents responsible for the Josh Evans hoax (which was already common knowledge in Myspace pages & bloggers everywhere.) There’s also a [screenshot of the police report](http://bluemerle.blogspot.com/2007/11/lori-drew-cnn-capture-police-report.html) as revealed (accidentally? intentionally?) by CNN, in which Lori Drew attempts to explain her rationale for the hoax: > [@](#): > > In reference to their daughter’s suicide, Drew explained she wanted to “just tell them” what she did to contribute to the Meier’s daughter’s suicide. She instigated and monitored a “my space” account(\<—blurred) which was created for the sole purpose of communicating with Meier’s daughter. Drew said she, with the help of temporary empoyee named “Ashley”, constructed a profile of “good looking” male on “my space” in order to “find out what Megan (Meier’s daughter) was saying on-line” about her daughter. Drew explained the communication between the fake male profile was [?aimed? illeg] at gaining Megan’s confidence and finding out what Megan felt about her daughter and other people. Drew stated she, her daughter, and Ashley all typed, read, and monitored the communication between the fake male profile and Megan. Drew went on to say, the communication became “sexual for a thirteen year old.” Drew stated she continued the fake male profile despite this development. > > According to Drew “somehow” other “my space” users were able to access the fake male profile and Megan found out she had been duped. Drew stated she knew “arguments” had broken out between Megan and others on “my space”. Drew felt this incident contributed to Megan’s suicide, but she did not feel “as guilty” because at the funeral because she found out “Megan had tried to commit suicide before.” Yuck! That’s some major psychopathic behavior there. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Fuji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/123 "2007-11-19T21:14:03Z")
[QUOTE=KGS] [**Isolation of the Nuclear Family and Kinship Organization in Japan: A Hypothetical Approach to the Relationships between the Family and Society**](http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0022-2445%28196711%2929%3A4%3C783%3AIOTNFA%3E2.0.CO%3B2-J&size=SMALL&origin=JSTOR-reducePage): From [The Nurturing Mother: Commentary](http://www.thenurturingmother.com/Nuclear_Family.html) [/QUOTE] Your 1st link is to an academic abstract (dealing with **Japanese** society), and as such (being an **abstract** ), provides no substantive evidence to support your position. Your 2nd link is even weaker. Doing merely a cursory read of the linked article: [QUOTE=your 2nd link] “One should not, however, readily blame the nuclear family alone for all the dysfunction since the most basic function of the nuclear family was discarded long ago.” “In the ideal nuclear family, a breastfeeding mother is respected and appreciated for the uniqueness of nature’s gifts.” “Simply stated, breastfeeding is most easily accomplished in a nuclear family setting.” “As a society, we have a great deal to gain by encouraging the return of the breastfeeding-centered nuclear family.” [/QUOTE] Of course, you might have saved a lot of time if you had noticed that the title of the piece was… _In Defense of the Nuclear Family_ :smack: Did you even check these sources or did you just do a half-ass keyword search? ---
**Author:** ![Fuji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Fuji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/124 "2007-11-19T21:19:00Z")
[QUOTE=KGS] \*\*The success of immigrant groups (including the controversial issue of illegal aliens) can be attributed to their non-traditional family structure \*\* – uncles & aunts, siblings, and grandparents all live under the same roof. Human society continues to evolve, and hopefully one day the concept of “nuclear family” will become a footnote in history. [/QUOTE] What the hell? This is almost as ridiculous an assertion as your previous one. Man, you must _really_ hate your parents… ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/125 "2007-11-19T21:42:32Z")
I have little to add to the thread except that I am astonished at the self control of Megan Meier’s parents. If I’d been on Mr. Meier’s place, it’s not the foosball table that I would have taken the sledgehammer to. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/126 "2007-11-19T22:13:35Z")
Her parents were on the Today Show today. I suppose I should preface my comments with: what the other parents did was absolutely, mind blowingly awful. I’m not sure what punishment they deserve, but I hope it is just and comes swiftly. That said. . like I said, the parents were on this morning and one thing really stuck out to me. There was some question (I was only half listening at this point) that led the mother to say something like (not a direct quote, I’m trying to remember the best I can), “We were very serious about internet protection. Our computer was protected with a password that only we knew. She couldn’t get on without our permission.” If you know your kid is already unstable (which it seems they did), then you know she’s being bothered by this big ol’ teenage drama (instigated by parents, of course, but that wasn’t known at the time), why the hell would you log on to the computer for her? What the hell kind of parenting is that? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/127 "2007-11-19T22:21:55Z")
Ok, the video can be found here: [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21882976/](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21882976/) The exchange is: > [@](#): > > Matt Lauer: “. . .You were parents who, as we heard in the piece, did time to time monitor Megan’s communications online. So, can you explain to other parents watching how this may have gotten out of hand? How this may have developed so quickly?” > > Mom: “Well, it wasn’t from time to time. I mean, it was monitored HIGHLY. It was, Megan was not allowed to get online. We had the password. Megan couldn’t even sign on without us. We had to be in the room. So this was highly monitored.” ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/128 "2007-11-19T22:58:36Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] “We were very serious about internet protection. Our computer was protected with a password that only we knew. She couldn’t get on without our permission.” If you know your kid is already unstable (which it seems they did), then you know she’s being bothered by this big ol’ teenage drama (instigated by parents, of course, but that wasn’t known at the time), why the hell would you log on to the computer for her? What the hell kind of parenting is that? [/QUOTE] Not only that, they allowed her to _remain_ on the computer when she told them things were going awry. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/129 "2007-11-20T00:50:28Z")
[QUOTE=KGS] Not only that, they allowed her to _remain_ on the computer when she told them things were going awry. [/QUOTE] Which says to me that they are trying to spin the story to sound like they were great parents who were totally in control, but everything is entirely the fault of the other folks. Like I said, I don’t for one moment deny how horrible the acts of the other parents were- it was awful, low, and vicious. In my opinion, they DO deserve punishment- and hopefully it’ll be something a little more serious (and official) than the ostracization they are likely already getting. I think the fact that they don’t really show any remorse says a ton, actually. But yeah, her parents? I’m feeling quite a bit of spin coming from them- spin no one will ever question. After all, who is so heartless to question the parenting of folks who just lost a child? Ya know, except us heh. Even then, of course, their bad parenting isn’t criminal- what those other people did should be, if it isn’t already. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/130 "2007-11-20T03:44:48Z")
[QUOTE=Anne Neville] Absolutely. I like being in my 30s so much more than I liked being a teenager, there’s no comparison. I wouldn’t go back to being a teenager for millions of dollars. [/QUOTE] Seconded. And while my teenage life didn’t particularly suck, and I was never bullied (I don’t know anyone who was in my school), I have to say that the prospect of a longer life ahead does not appeal to me. Sometimes I want to grab my teenage self and tell her how little high school really means. I would also like to tell her that the school princess (the one that used to tease me for being a bookworm) would get pregnant by a wife beater (she knew his reputation) fresh out of high school, and become the only one in our class that didn’t graduate from university. Heh! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/131 "2007-11-20T05:34:43Z")
[QUOTE=KGS] Not only that, they allowed her to _remain_ on the computer when she told them things were going awry. [/QUOTE] So you’re just going to totally ignore **Fuji’s** posts about your ‘cites’. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/132 "2007-11-20T05:57:06Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] Which says to me that they are trying to spin the story to sound like they were great parents who were totally in control, but everything is entirely the fault of the other folks. Like I said, I don’t for one moment deny how horrible the acts of the other parents were- it was awful, low, and vicious. In my opinion, they DO deserve punishment- and hopefully it’ll be something a little more serious (and official) than the ostracization they are likely already getting. I think the fact that they don’t really show any remorse says a ton, actually. But yeah, her parents? I’m feeling quite a bit of spin coming from them- spin no one will ever question. After all, who is so heartless to question the parenting of folks who just lost a child? Ya know, except us heh. Even then, of course, their bad parenting isn’t criminal- what those other people did should be, if it isn’t already. [/QUOTE] I’ve got to call bullshit. Although I understand you’re placing blame on the vile adult who toyed with a kid, I’ve got to say your points regarding the parents seem to be unfair. No parent is perfect, and it’s pretty easy to look at a situation after the fact and say what “should” be done when you know what the end result is (her suicide). A parent can’t live their life thinking that every disappointment or every tough situation will lead to suicide. Just today probably at least 10,000 parents told their kid to log off the computer and they didn’t. This girl’s parents happened to be the unlucky ones who lost their child. I think your condemnation of them for not MAKING her log off RFN smacks of Monday morning quarterbacking and reactionary judgement. Could her parents have done better? Of course. Could there have been signs they didn’t see? Naturally, but teenagers are WEIRD so you can’t see all the signs. They’ll live the rest of their lives with the could haves and what ifs. The simple fact is that an adult created a false persona designed to fuck with a kid. That makes her (the vile adult) highly unstable and her comments after the girls death (trying to rationalize her actions) makes her an evil fucktard. We’ve had people here on the board look for advice about situations just as questionable as this fictional boy and fellow Dopers say “Don’t worry about it!” (14 year old having an online boyfriend they lie about) yet this woman who didn’t give her child the passwords, monitored her time online, etc is somehow painted as wrong? Their daughter is dead not from the bullying of another child, but from the manipulation and lies of an adult who’ll never really have to pay for it. I think Megan’s parents have suffered enough. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/133 "2007-11-20T06:57:15Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] So you’re just going to totally ignore **Fuji’s** posts about your ‘cites’. [/QUOTE] If you’re not satisfied with my cites, do your own fucking research. But whaddaya say we end this hijack right here, ok? Sorry for being off-topic. [QUOTE=Sleeps With Butterflies] Could her parents have done better? Of course. Could there have been signs they didn’t see? Naturally, but teenagers are WEIRD so you can’t see all the signs. [/QUOTE] Interesting. This girl suffered from depression & anxiety disorders, attempted suicide at least once before, and was severely bullied by her peers. And you write her off as “weird”. I’ll bet “weird” was a word she heard from her classmates every day, and it wasn’t the worst name people called her. Keep in mind that she had these issues since she was NINE YEARS OLD. Yes, teens get “moody” – but Megan clearly had a major disability, and unfortunately was teased & harassed for it, as happens way too often to children with disabilities. (And I can’t help but wonder if Megan’s parents were themselves teased & harassed in school, and the scars are so fresh that they didn’t want to face what their daughter was going through – don’t know if that’s true in this situation, but it IS very common.) No matter what the truth is, her parents clearly want to convince themselves that they did everything they could to save her…hell, who wouldn’t?? I can’t blame them for that. Losing a child, I would imagine, is the worst pain in the world. Even worse is the feeling that you might have been partly responsible for your own child’s death. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/134 "2007-11-20T07:04:00Z")
[QUOTE=KGS] Interesting. This girl suffered from depression & anxiety disorders, attempted suicide at least once before, and was severely bullied by her peers. And you write her off as “weird”. I’ll bet “weird” was a word she heard from her classmates every day, and it wasn’t the worst name people called her. [/QUOTE] Nice try. I said that TEENAGERS are weird, not her specifically. Either you’re stupid or you’re trying to twist words to fit your intended response. Which is it? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/135 "2007-11-20T07:28:24Z")
Huh. [Brainless](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9069704&postcount=103), [heartless](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9184218&postcount=61), and [gutless.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9194700&postcount=133) Are you completely hollow, **KGS**? Is there anything inside you at all? ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/136 "2007-11-20T08:27:13Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] If you know your kid is already unstable (which it seems they did), then you know she’s being bothered by this big ol’ teenage drama (instigated by parents, of course, but that wasn’t known at the time), why the hell would you log on to the computer for her? What the hell kind of parenting is that? [/QUOTE] Because the problems occurred on the day the girl killed herself. She was already logged in when things started to go bad. Before that they probably saw the Myspace thing as a positive thing for the girl. > [@KGS](#): > > Not only that, they allowed her to remain on the computer when she told them things were going awry. Megan asked for a chance to finish up, so the mother told her to hurry up and then get off. She stopped Megan when she got back. God forbid a parent ever show trust in their children and allow them to show some responsibility. > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > But yeah, her parents? I’m feeling quite a bit of spin coming from them- spin no one will ever question. After all, who is so heartless to question the parenting of folks who just lost a child? Ya know, except us heh. Even then, of course, their bad parenting isn’t criminal- what those other people did should be, if it isn’t already. You think they are bad parents who are spinning things just because their claim to have monitored their daughter didn’t include looking into the future and seeing she’d have trouble later? Just because people aren’t going to question their parenting doesn’t make them bad parents. The fact that you jump to the conclusion that they were bad parents says more about you than about them. The parents deserve the benefit of the doubt because there is no reason to believe they were bad parents. Yes, if they’d done things differently their daughter might still be alive, but that doesn’t mean any mistakes they made were borne out of bad parenting. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/137 "2007-11-20T10:04:15Z")
[QUOTE=Sleeps With Butterflies] Nice try. I said that TEENAGERS are weird, not her specifically. [/QUOTE] So you cast insults at all children equally? I guess that’s better than singling out one person for verbal abuse. Tell me…what do you mean by “weird”? Explain in as much detail as you can. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/138 "2007-11-20T10:13:55Z")
[QUOTE=KGS] So you cast insults at all children equally? I guess that’s better than singling out one person for verbal abuse. [/QUOTE] Let’s see…on the one hand we have “weird.” On the other, we have better off dead. Who’s slinging the verbal abuse now? ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/139 "2007-11-20T10:29:29Z")
[QUOTE=KGS] So you cast insults at all children equally? I guess that’s better than singling out one person for verbal abuse. Tell me…what do you mean by “weird”? Explain in as much detail as you can. [/QUOTE] Quit being deliberately obtuse. I know you believe you’re making yourself seem clever, but only someone with limited capacity of understanding really needs these type of things explained to them. But, we’ll play your little game of “you explain everything I want to me and I’ll ignore everyone else’s request for me to answer their questions” if you think it helps your position. Listen Skippy, you don’t think they make all those teen angst movies because stereotypes are really, really off base do you? Teenagers are moody, sullen, confused, filled with hormones, usually self conscious, and desperate to fit in. They are just learning to explore their minds, limits & boundaries, relationships, freedoms, bodies, and where they fit in with the rest of the world. They’re influenced by parents, other kids, books, music, movies, television, marketing, and countless other avenues of information. They deal with many of the same stresses and internal dialogues as adults do with the added bonus of hormonal changes. It’s a stressful and confusing time which makes much of their behavior WEIRD. If you need further explanation than that, I suggest you pull your head out of your ass and consider that maybe you’re too far gone to be a productive member of society. If you haven’t learned these lessons already in life, perhaps it’s for the best if you’re not with us anymore or had been aborted in the womb. If you’ve been dense all of these years and were never given the tools you need to process thoughts and improve your ability to retain information, what chance do you have as an adult? You have lived this long and you don’t recognize the teenage years as years of unbelievable change and angst which will eventually give way to clearer thinking and better skills to manage your life? You really believe a teenager is better off making a permanent decision to a temporary problem so she isn’t a burden to her family and the poor, poor taxpayers? Well… if I were to point the finger at anyone, it would be at your parents. Not to suggest they caused your problems, but they certainly appear not to have helped you become an empathetic and thoughtful person. Too bad Mommy KGS didn’t just swallow. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555/140 "2007-11-20T12:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=Garfield226] On the other, we have better off dead. Who’s slinging the verbal abuse now? [/QUOTE] Is THAT what this is about??? Because I never said that. I believe my exact words were: _“I can’t help thinking that maybe it’s for the best.”_ That’s different than what you said. I’m just attempting to shine a little perspective on what’s admittedly a tragic situation. After all, the person we’re talking about is already gone. No amount of hang-wringing or recreational outrage will change that fact. Jesus Fucking Christ. No wonder wars get started over such minor breakdowns in communication. :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/myspace-bullying-leads-to-suicide/426555.md?page=8)