# Mystery For The Day: A Certified Letter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374 "2005-06-29T16:04:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/21 "2005-06-29T18:15:08Z")
I seem to recall a “scam”. Basically, it’s some junk mail solicitor that sends the scam mail as a Certified Letter to make it seem more important to the “mark”. If it’s someone asking you for money, don’t assume that it’s legit. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/22 "2005-06-29T18:50:40Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > I seem to recall a “scam”. Basically, it’s some junk mail solicitor that sends the scam mail as a Certified Letter to make it seem more important to the “mark”. > > If it’s someone asking you for money, don’t assume that it’s legit. If someone is silly enough to ask _me_ for money, I pretty much assume they don’t know what they’re doing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/23 "2005-06-29T18:51:50Z")
> [@Campion](#): > > Maybe it’s the tax man. You invest in one of those totally legal, guaranteed to succeed, offshore pyramid schemes? No. Just a bridge over the Bermuda Triangle. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/24 "2005-06-29T20:06:51Z")
I think you can only get a certified letter if you’re certifiable. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/25 "2005-06-29T20:57:46Z")
> [@Hey you!](#): > > I think you can only get a certified letter if you’re certifiable. No, only the letter has to be certifiable. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/26 "2005-06-29T21:08:21Z")
I’ve only gotten one notice for a certified letter. I was kind of excited, until I saw that it came from the IRS! Gasp! Then, I checked the name – not remotely mine and I didn’t recognize it. They kept trying and trying, even though I kept refusing it. Eventually I called the post office and told them that the IRS was mistaken and I didn’t know anything about this. They agreeably said they would let the IRS know, and I didn’t hear about it again. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/27 "2005-06-29T21:28:49Z")
We just got 2 certified letters from the IRS - they send a copy to each spouse on a joint return. They want money. I knew they wanted money. They’ll get their money. They coulda saved money by sending me a regular letter - or even an email. But whatever… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/28 "2005-06-30T21:36:04Z")
Hmmm… since she hasn’t been back to tell us what the letter was about, shall we assume that **Auntie Em** did indeed get a whole ton o’ money from a deceased rich relative and has been shopping nonstop since? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/29 "2005-06-30T21:46:34Z")
A little bird tells me that it’s **auntie em and SkipMagic’s** anniversary. So: A) The certified letter is something that Skip concocted ii) It’s their anniversary, and they are too busy celebrating to post c) Both ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/30 "2005-06-30T22:00:16Z")
Maybe I’m weird, but my immediate vote is for it to be something involving our old friend, Missing Coworker, just because that was one of the most exciting sagas I have _ever_ had the pleasure to waste my time constantly hitting “refresh” for online, and so to have the whole thing crop up again, with the next chapter? Fan-frickin’-tastic! ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/31 "2005-07-04T23:17:55Z")
I second that vote. It would be tiresome for **Auntie Em** , I suppose, but what’s that compared to the joy that a whole new chapter could bring to the rest of us? Sorry, **Auntie Em** 🙂 Happy Anniversary! ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/32 "2005-07-05T00:04:56Z")
> [@auntie em](#): > > There’s one waiting for me at the post office. Which means I have, lessee . . . about four and a half hours to contemplate what it could be. > > My guess? I’m goin’ to court. The infamous Missing Coworker has filed a federal suit against my former employer for discrimination, and has (acccording to my former boss) listed me as a witness.\* > > But for the next four hours or so, I’m just going to sit here and pretend there’s some possibility that I have been named the sole heir of some wildly rich relative I heretofore knew nothing about. > > A girl can dream, can’t she? > > \*She filed a claim with the state last year, and also listed me as a witness, but that time some investigator just called me at work and asked me questions . . . and then the claim was dropped. I was hoping the same would happen this time . . . But until you get a subpoena, you AIN’T!! 😛😛😛 ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/33 "2005-07-05T00:18:49Z")
It’s that wild bunch of people with the balloons and a giant check from Publishers Clearing House. They pounded on your door for ten minutes, to no avail. If you see a group sitting on the bench at the PO…that’s them. Act surprised. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/34 "2005-07-05T03:35:28Z")
> [@Mama Tiger](#): > > Maybe I’m weird, but my immediate vote is for it to be something involving our old friend, Missing Coworker, just because that was one of the most exciting sagas I have _ever_ had the pleasure to waste my time constantly hitting “refresh” for online, and so to have the whole thing crop up again, with the next chapter? Fan-frickin’-tastic! Me too! That was the first thread I ever read all the way through, and kept coming back to check. But now its been 6 days… Do you think… oh no… They went some where for the holiday weekend?!? I may not sleep tonight… ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/35 "2005-07-05T04:16:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I seem to recall a “scam”. Basically, it’s some junk mail solicitor that sends the scam mail as a Certified Letter to make it seem more important to the “mark”. Last time I got a certified letter it turned out to be junk mail. I was so pissed that I had to drive to the post office to get it. But after that I was like, well I went this far, might as well buy some of that vynl siding. ya right! ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/36 "2005-07-05T04:20:18Z")
Sorry, Mystery Minions, it was nothing more exciting than old tax stuff dating back to when we combined two households from two separate states. We’ll have to wait to see if the Missing Co-Worker brings any more excitement into our lives. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374/37 "2005-07-05T04:31:18Z")
Well, gosh, that was mundane. And pointless. So much for a big mystery. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-for-the-day-a-certified-letter/310374.md?page=1)