# Mystery pooper in deep doo-doo **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2018, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527 "2018-05-03T17:48:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/1 "2018-05-03T17:48:10Z")
A “mystery pooper” who had been leaving “presents” on or near the football/track field at Holmdel High School in in New Jersey [turned out to be the superintendent of a nearby school district](http://www.nj.com/monmouth/index.ssf/2018/05/superintendent_out_out_for_job_relieved_himself_un.html). No motive has yet to be revealed. In other mystery poop news, the Colorado “Mad Pooper” appears to [have a fan in Arkansas](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kzn3ja/arkansas-mad-pooper-copycat-vgtrn). ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/2 "2018-05-03T18:06:24Z")
This is even funnier than when Zeke was the mystery pooper on _Bob’s Burgers._ 😃 Mystery Poop. Always funny. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/3 "2018-05-03T18:17:35Z")
In DC, a jogger is pooping in public and leaving a dead rat next to his display. Witnesses have described him as “somewhat handsome.” [There Was No Way I Could Not Post This. NO WAY. Sorry in advance. - PoPville](https://www.popville.com/2018/04/im-not-sorry/) ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/4 "2018-05-03T18:19:22Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > In DC, a jogger is pooping in public and leaving a dead rat next to his display. Witnesses have described him as “somewhat handsome.” [There Was No Way I Could Not Post This. NO WAY. Sorry in advance. - PoPville](https://www.popville.com/2018/04/im-not-sorry/) Nice. Maybe it’s performance art. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/5 "2018-05-03T19:12:25Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Nice. Maybe it’s performance art. I would imagine a typical performance by a dead rat would be quite boring. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/6 "2018-05-03T19:30:54Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I would imagine a typical performance by a dead rat would be quite boring. I didn’t say it was _good_ performance art. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/7 "2018-05-03T21:16:35Z")
I spent a decade in public education and every superintendent of my acquaintance was pretty much a psychopath. Not sure what it is about that job and the sort who aspire to it, but they were all very unpleasant people. And frankly, taking repeated dumps in public would have been a refreshingly honest and direct tactic compared to what I saw them do to the teachers and kids in their districts. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/8 "2018-05-03T21:34:01Z")
What the hell is wrong with people? I went in a Wal-Mart restroom once and 2 employees were in there arguing who was gonna clean the stall. One finally said “I don’t get paid enough to do this” and walked out. I stuck around just long enough to get a whiff and ran out. Someone had smeared shit allover the walls of that stall. It wasn’t a kid because it was to the top. What adult would put their hands in crap, of their own making, I assume, and spread it allover? Ewww, just ewww. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/9 "2018-05-03T21:44:45Z")
“Mystery Pooper” sounds like a low-level super villain from the Venture Brothers. His suit would have a zipper over the butt and he’d just poop put random evil things. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/10 "2018-05-03T22:07:07Z")
OK, who remembers the “Mad Crapper” in National Lampoon’s 1964 Kefauver High School yearbook? Go, Kangaroos! The MC was never revealed, but careful perusing of that book suggests that the culprit was the highest-ranking staff member, i.e., the superintendent. Coincidence? I think not! ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/11 "2018-05-03T22:37:01Z")
Superintendents, CEOs, and so on… More are sociopaths because “git 'er dun” is much less powerful than “git 'er dun no matter who gets hurt or what rules get broken” Though in the CEO case this shows that investors are complicit - willing to hurt people for money as long as it looks like the boss’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/12 "2018-05-03T22:38:20Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > OK, who remembers the “Mad Crapper” in National Lampoon’s 1964 Kefauver High School yearbook? Go, Kangaroos! > > The MC was never revealed, but careful perusing of that book suggests that the culprit was the highest-ranking staff member, i.e., the superintendent. Coincidence? I think not! I opened this thread just to post this very thing. Wasn’t the poopetrator Prinicipal Humphry Cornholt, who also masqueraded as the school janitor, Humboldt Cornfrey? “The only human waste is a waste of Time” -Principle Cornholt, in the Yearbook Damn, I just wrote all that from memory alone. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/13 "2018-05-03T22:42:11Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > OK, who remembers the “Mad Crapper” in National Lampoon’s 1964 Kefauver High School yearbook? Go, Kangaroos! > > The MC was never revealed, but careful perusing of that book suggests that the culprit was the highest-ranking staff member, i.e., the superintendent. Coincidence? I think not! I hope P.J. O’Rourke hears about this. He foretold the future. (He was one of the two guys who composed 99% of that yearbook, almost a mini-novel in written mockumentary form.) ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/14 "2018-05-04T01:05:42Z")
My daughter told me about this earlier. It’s one of those wtf stories. People are strange and deranged. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/15 "2018-05-04T01:30:21Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I opened this thread just to post this very thing. Wasn’t the poopetrator Prinicipal Humphry Cornholt, who also masqueraded as the school janitor, Humboldt Cornfrey? > > “The only human waste is a waste of Time” > -Principle Cornholt, in the Yearbook > > Damn, I just wrote all that from memory alone. Time to correct both of our memory recollections, drawing from my yellowing copy of the yearbook in question. The suspected _Mad Crapper_ wasn’t the C. Estes Kefauver Memorial High School _Superintendent,_ but the _Principal,_ Dr. Humphrey C. Cornholt, aka Humbolt C. Cornfrey. > [@](#): > > Now, at the tail end of my first year on the Principal’s stool at Kefauver High, certain thoughts begin to emerge and I would like to pass a few of these along to you. > > First, graduation can be viewed as one of two things: a beginning or an ending. Indeed, there are some here to whom graduation will be a finale, a closing of both the schoolbooks and the education train, to push ahead, and to digest more and more “food for thought” each day. > > Seconds, I’d like to say that it gives me great pleasure to be able to release all that I’ve been holding inside me so long, and to tell you what a nice feeling it has been for me to perform my duties as Principal among such firm and regular young people as you… Nevertheless, P. J. was ahead of his time. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/16 "2018-05-04T01:55:25Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > OK, who remembers the “Mad Crapper” in National Lampoon’s 1964 Kefauver High School yearbook? Go, Kangaroos! > > The MC was never revealed, but careful perusing of that book suggests that the culprit was the highest-ranking staff member, i.e., the superintendent. Coincidence? I think not! Great minds… Now I don’t have to post this very thing ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/17 "2018-05-04T03:02:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > What the hell is wrong with people? I went in a Wal-Mart restroom once and 2 employees were in there arguing who was gonna clean the stall. One finally said “I don’t get paid enough to do this” and walked out. I stuck around just long enough to get a whiff and ran out. Someone had smeared shit allover the walls of that stall. It wasn’t a kid because it was to the top. What adult would put their hands in crap, of their own making, I assume, and spread it allover? Ewww, just ewww. There’s a female Doper on here who has told the story of the poop-smearer in her office who also used her menstrual blood when the time was right. (Hey, where’ the vomit smiley?) Most people in the office knew who was doing this, and it took several YEARS to catch her. When I lived in my old town, several teenagers broke into the Catholic high school during summer vacation and caused about $100,000 in damage, and in case you hadn’t figured it out already, that damage included someone having defecated on a teacher’s desk. :o Several of my co-workers who had attended that school had a rather colorful conversation about whose desk they would have liked to have crapped on when they went there. :rolleyes: My favorite part of the story: The culprit was identified with DNA, and tried to say that his twin brother had done this - and no, they were not identical. Because this happened before security cameras were the universal things they are now, they were caught the old-fashioned way - by bragging about it on social media. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/18 "2018-05-04T03:54:55Z")
I’ve got 4 little dogs that live in the back room. One (or more) of them are a periodic Mystery Pooper. Gotta make sure they go out before putting them to bed! (I blame you, Anheuser-Busch!) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/19 "2018-05-04T04:18:35Z")
^^quit giving them beer. Problem solved. You’re welcome. (I kid) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527/20 "2018-05-04T04:33:05Z")
I hadn’t thought of that… but people tell me not to drink alone. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mystery-pooper-in-deep-doo-doo/813527.md?page=2)