# N\*\*\*\*\*s can be white, too! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 25, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886 "2004-04-25T06:03:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/1 "2004-04-25T06:03:35Z")
No, you ignorant, fuck, they can not. My mother’s boyfriend is black. Fine. I have a problem with his borderline abusive behavior, not his blackness. One of my mom’s friends had enough, told him off, and called me. On the phone with me, she called him a “nigger”. When I took exception to this, she said, “No, I’m not rasict, white people can be niggers too.” No they can not. The word “nigger” stems from the word “negro”, which is Spanish for “Black”. The way I understand it, (Correct me if I am wrong) “nigger” is a bastardization of the word, “negro”. I am upset for two reasons. First, my mother’s boyfriend is probably now on her case and verbally abusing her for her friend’s outburst. If my mother gets hurt in anyway for her friend’s actions, heads are gonna roll. First, his, then, her friend’s. Second, the word “nigger” has a racial connetation. Nothing, I mean, NOTHING, will take that away. If you called Mr. Mom a “nigger” it is because you harbor some racist attitudes, and are now trying to hide it. Do not justify keeping alive such a dispicable word with such a lame statement. God, this whole thing makes me almost want to LIKE the abusive fucker. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/2 "2004-04-25T06:06:46Z")
Is your friend a racist, or did she just say it because she was pissed off? If it was the latter, I’d let it drop. It’s of no consequence what word she called him on the phone with you during a moment of anger. I’d be much more worried about your mom if the guy is abusive. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/3 "2004-04-25T06:09:11Z")
I’m with you on this one. I used to know a lot of openly racist people and when I would call them out of it they would say the exact same thing. It’s because they’re pussies and they don’t want to admit their full racism in front of outsiders. And, I know your last statement was written half-jokingly, but don’t even think about liking someone just because someone else called him a bad name. He still sounds like a cock no matter what your mom’s friend called him. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/4 "2004-04-25T06:18:37Z")
I just tried calling my mom three times. No answer. One more try, then I am driving to her house. Wish me luck. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/5 "2004-04-25T06:38:55Z")
Ah yes, the “nigger means stupid” defense. A racist skinhead of my former acquaintance became _very_ enamored of this argument after she, if you can believe it, got turned on to reggae. She went from skinhead to rasta literally overnight, even announcing her intention to grow dreadlocks. I let her have the argument, figuring it was better for her to step off the racist skin beliefs and if “N=S” helped her along that path then good on her. I get just as frosted when people use “gay” to mean “syupid” and then don’t understand why that pisses me off. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/6 "2004-04-25T06:55:44Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I get just as frosted when people use “gay” to mean “syupid” and then don’t understand why that pisses me off. … but it makes it ALL BETTER when they spell it “ghey,” right? :rolleyes: There are many benefits to being a loner and choosing one’s company carefully. Not least of which is the fact that I haven’t heard someone use the word like that in… nearly a year, I think. This whole thing sort of reminds me of the lesbian phone saga, now that I think about it. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/7 "2004-04-25T07:41:23Z")
I think you should worry more about your mom’s health than her boyfriend’s feelings. ---
**Author:** ![kitarak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kitarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitarak)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/8 "2004-04-25T10:34:51Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > I think you should worry more about your mom’s health than her boyfriend’s feelings. Umm… yeah? That’s exactly what she seems to be doing. **torie** , I hope your mother’s ok. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/9 "2004-04-25T12:03:29Z")
Wow, I hope your mom is alright. That is a word we were brought up to never, ever say. I remember one time my brother saying “n\_\_\_\_\_” instead of ‘tiger’ in that ‘eeny meenie minie moe’ saying, and my mother storming in from three rooms away to smack him one. It still shocks me when a (black and Puerto Rican) friend (and poster on this board) calls herself a “Nigger Rican”. > [@elfbabe](#): > > This whole thing sort of reminds me of the lesbian phone saga, now that I think about it. I would like to know what the ‘Lesbian Phone Saga’ is. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/10 "2004-04-25T12:06:04Z")
> [@](#): > > I would like to know what the ‘Lesbian Phone Saga’ is. And also if there are pictures. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/11 "2004-04-25T12:07:17Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > And also if there are pictures. 😉 Oh, yeah - one a them video-phone thingmies. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/12 "2004-04-25T12:23:26Z")
Well, if everyone would just purchase a read Judith Martin’s book on “Manners” we wouldn’t have these problems. Everyone could just feel how they wanted to about other people but they would not say or do things that are offensive. Might even bring about world peace. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/13 "2004-04-25T13:00:57Z")
I think **county** ’s onto something there. But then I’m all for politeness and the wisdom of refraining from making oneself look like a racist asshole. **Torie** , I hope your mom’s okay. Maybe you can update us? Best, karol ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/14 "2004-04-25T13:36:18Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > … but it makes it ALL BETTER when they spell it “ghey,” right? :rolleyes: [hijack] Woah, other people do this? Forgive me for living in a bubble, but I thought it had popped up in the TheSmartMarks/World Domination Inc/Underground Smarks triad. Next you’ll be telling me other people say DRAWMUH~! too. - Ace, feeling very stupid. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/15 "2004-04-25T15:19:57Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I would like to know what the ‘Lesbian Phone Saga’ is. [The story of the phone who loved other phones](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=216812&highlight=lesbian+phones). By the brilliant and lovely **LaurAnge**. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/16 "2004-04-25T16:08:03Z")
> [@kung fu lola](#): > > [The story of the phone who loved other phones](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=216812&highlight=lesbian+phones). By the brilliant and lovely **LaurAnge**. Ahhh, yes. I’d forgotten that. ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/17 "2004-04-25T16:11:59Z")
If she just said it in anger, then it’s just fine. I have an Irish friend, and whenever I’m pissed off at him I call him “that potato-eating shithead.” That doesn’t mean I hate Irish people. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/18 "2004-04-25T18:42:28Z")
Because if you can’t spew racist hate speech in the heat of anger, when _can_ you spew racist hate speech? ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/19 "2004-04-25T18:49:21Z")
Do you have an update, **torie**? Is everything okay? ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886/20 "2004-04-25T18:59:10Z")
> [@](#): > > There are many benefits to being a loner and choosing one’s company carefully. Yea, really. But, I always thought that “nigger” meant low thinking person. It was taken from the term “niggardlyness” or something. BUT, that obviously changed. Heh. Whatever the case, when that term is used(and it’s the only term that makes me cringe when even thinking of it), most people tend to think of it as a very deragative word for black person. So, when your friend said “nigger”, I seriously doubt she was thinking “low minded person”. Not to say she’s racist, the word sure as hell is. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/n-s-can-be-white-too/241886.md?page=2)