# Naked man mounts airplane... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 4, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999 "2004-11-04T17:45:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/1 "2004-11-04T17:45:45Z")
Read all about it… [http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=226412](http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=226412) Well, it appears the terrorists know how to strike at our core: Further attacks on airliners using deranged _naked people_. I’m pretty sure another unclad guy was supposed to join him in the cabin for some hot, public, man-on-man mile-high-club action to really terrorize us; but perhaps the accomplice was intercepted while also trying to board, leaving this sorry fellow no option but daredevil public spectacle. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/2 "2004-11-04T18:02:24Z")
Dear me. When our society has deteriorated to the point that naked men have sex with airplanes, then the terrorist really _have_ won. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/3 "2004-11-04T18:24:13Z")
I think we just discovered **iampunha** ’s true identity. :: **iampunha** runs nekkid down runway:: 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![trupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@trupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trupa)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/4 "2004-11-04T18:36:55Z")
So this guy strips naked, then: > [@](#): > > Baggage handlers saw the man climb an 8-foot, barbed-wire fence that separates public and private areas of the airport To quote Bloom County: Bactine Please! :eek: This does tell us a lot about the effectiveness of said fences. > [@](#): > > Airport authorities will look into improving the fence, said Paul Haney, a spokesman for the agency that operates the airport. Hmmm, how much would it cost to upgrade all the fences at all the aiports in the US? And make them cut-proof, or make cuts ring alarms… And have people on duty to intercept this potential soon-to-be-martyr-for-Allah before he can do damage??? On the other hand, if a naked crazy guy can climb a fence and make into the wheelwell of a 747, what’s to keep a real badguy with a backpack of explosives from blowing up a 747 during the take-off roll? All he has to do is get onto the rear landing gear at the start of the roll and detonate when they start rotating the nose up and that airliner is pretty much a ball of burning jet-fuel. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/5 "2004-11-04T18:43:47Z")
But…but…we’re safer, Bush said so. Stop speaking bad things. ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/6 "2004-11-04T19:13:57Z")
> [@trupa](#): > > On the other hand, if a naked crazy guy can climb a fence and make into the wheelwell of a 747, what’s to keep a real badguy with a backpack of explosives from blowing up a 747 during the take-off roll? All he has to do is get onto the rear landing gear at the start of the roll and detonate when they start rotating the nose up and that airliner is pretty much a ball of burning jet-fuel. Okay, after this…I think I will drive or walk from here on out. Your statement just gave me a major case of “The Willies”. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/7 "2004-11-06T13:29:04Z")
> [@trupa](#): > > This does tell us a lot about the effectiveness of said fences. That’s why we didn’t bother to put a fence around the airport I use – instead, we lock up the hardware when it isn’t being used. A naked man might be able to scale a fence, but it will take him a _long_ time to chew through a steel prop lock. Maybe, at major airports, we could station snipers in little bunkers along all the runways so they can shoot down the next psycho running about the place. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/8 "2004-11-06T15:21:55Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Dear me. > > When our society has deteriorated to the point that naked men have sex with airplanes, then the terrorist really _have_ won. > > 😃 Yesterday at work I was in and out of the back of a 737. Finally there was some screaming and moaning and a liquid was shot all over the place. Some of the liquid got on me but the hole I was in was drenched. Some even dripped out onto the floor. The mess was cleaned up and a new airplane is just about ready for delivery to Ryanair. I wasn’t naked either, I was wearing protection. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/9 "2004-11-06T16:12:24Z")
Private areas…heh heh heh… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/10 "2004-11-06T16:40:12Z")
So _that’s_ why they built a new five-metre fence around Toronto airport. To prevent crazies humping the 747s… ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/11 "2004-11-06T19:19:35Z")
I hope the plane in question at least got a nice dinner out of it. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/12 "2004-11-06T20:22:00Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > I hope the plane in question at least got a nice dinner out of it. Actually, I’d be happy just knowing the plane got kissed, first. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/13 "2004-11-06T20:26:19Z")
> [@trupa](#): > > intercept this potential soon-to-be-martyr-for-Allah before he can do damage??? He’s _Neil Melly_, from Canada. None of this martyr for Allah stuff, he was just looking for his beer, eh? I’m picturing a disgruntled, very drunk, curling coach, wearing nothing but his toque, deciding that the wheel well looks like a beer cooler… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/14 "2004-11-06T20:42:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Baggage handlers saw the man climb an 8-foot, barbed-wire fence that separates public and private areas of the airport and run to a departing plane as it backed from the gate. He climbed into a wheel well **before the plane stopped**. Bolding mine. Is that a typo? I don’t know much about planes, never tried to mount one before, but wouldn’t that be hard as hell to do? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/15 "2004-11-07T10:33:47Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > Bolding mine. > > Is that a typo? I don’t know much about planes, never tried to mount one before, but wouldn’t that be hard as hell to do? 😕 The man may lack a bit of grey matter between the ears, but he certainly doesn’t lack cojones. As I’m sure the video must show. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/16 "2004-11-07T17:22:27Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > Bolding mine. > > Is that a typo? I don’t know much about planes, never tried to mount one before, but wouldn’t that be hard as hell to do? 😕 I think the difficulty level would be proportional to the speed of the plane. As the plane was just backing out from the gate, it probably wasn’t moving very quickly. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/17 "2004-11-07T21:05:59Z")
Ah…I see. Well, then that leaves only one question. Exactly how did he _ **and** _ his cojones fit up in there? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/18 "2004-11-08T01:44:41Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > Yesterday at work I was in and out of the back of a 737. Finally there was some screaming and moaning and a liquid was shot all over the place. Some of the liquid got on me but the hole I was in was drenched. Some even dripped out onto the floor. The mess was cleaned up and a new airplane is just about ready for delivery to Ryanair. I wasn’t naked either, I was wearing protection. Well, hell. Now I need a cigarette. Was it good for you? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/19 "2004-11-08T06:47:00Z")
A young cow got loose and backed into a rotating airplane propeller. Disaster. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-man-mounts-airplane/272999/20 "2004-11-08T06:55:22Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > The man may lack a bit of grey matter between the ears No, he doesn’t. His grey matter is just not bathed in the proper balance of chemicals. The guy is bipolar, no doubt in a truly severe manic phase.