# Naked Newbie Coming Out **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [November 2, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182 "2001-11-02T19:31:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/21 "2001-11-04T01:35:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DopeyDave \* > \*\* > If there is a prize for the best introductory post, Algernon would have to be a candidate: humor, interesting questions, impressive layout, good spelling and punctuation. I’ll bet he can’t keep it up! \*\* There is no point to this post… other than to see this positive reinforcing comment one more time. 🙂 Thank you **DopeyDave**. And believe me, I don’t think I can keep it up either. (HEY! YOU out there… get your mind out of the gutter!! I _already_ got in trouble for using the word “naked”). ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/22 "2001-11-04T08:21:41Z")
Welcome to the joint mate. But isn’t your real name “Earnest”? Jack ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/23 "2001-11-04T15:52:43Z")
Welcome to the boards - I remember very clearly feeling a little intimidated when I first joined the boards too. But you write well, have a sense of humour and are clearly not a fool. Like **Chronos** said - I think you’ll do just fine. Having _lurked_ for so long (I agree with you about how sinister that word sounds by the way… it sounds like you’ve been slinking about in the shadows wearing a dark cape and chuckling evilly) I imagine you’re primed and ready to go. Have fun! Fran And **Redboss** - is that really important right now? ---
**Author:** ![sleeptrainer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@sleeptrainer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeptrainer)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/24 "2001-11-04T17:05:38Z")
^ | | What he said. The more the merrier, I thinkso. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/25 "2001-11-04T17:16:12Z")
He? _He?_ **He?**. _checks_ Yep, still female. And how to do train people to sleep? Do you coach them in the art of closing their eyes? Do you give them really, really dull pep talks? Do you keep herds of sheep for them to count? ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/26 "2001-11-05T20:23:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Redboss \* > \*\*Welcome to the joint mate. > > But isn’t your real name “Earnest”? > > Jack \*\* Thanks for the welcome **Redboss**. I take it from your choice of words that you’re from “down under”? I confess to being baffled by your post about my real name being “Earnest”. I hope you come back and look at this so that you could enlighten me… or perhaps some other doper could ( **Francesca?** … you seemed to understand the reference). Like a good doper I did some research but didn’t come up with anything that would lead me to believe that “Algernon” was really (originally?) named “Earnest”. And I’d prefer not to have to go back and read the book again to find the answer… my stack of books to read is high enough already. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/27 "2001-11-05T20:49:01Z")
Bless. It’s from _The Importance of Being Earnest_ by Oscar Wilde. Earnest uses the name Algernon as a pseudonym. Fran ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/28 "2001-11-05T21:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*Bless. It’s from _The Importance of Being Earnest_ by Oscar Wilde. Earnest uses the name Algernon as a pseudonym. > > Fran \*\* Ahhhhh… thank you for the answer. This was driving me crazy. I just saw this play a year ago, and it still didn’t click… I’m a moron. In some respects, this literary reference is more appropriate than the one I intended. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/29 "2001-11-06T02:54:18Z")
Francesca, you need to re-read the play. The two main (male) characters are Algernon Moncrieff and Jack Worthing. Jack Worthing uses Ernest in town and Jack in the country, so that any scandal caused by his (Jack’s) actions in the city can be attributed to his non-existent younger brother Ernest. Algernon, intrigued by the mention of Jack’s young ward Cecily, goes to Jack’s country house pretending to be the younger ne’er-do-well (non-existent) brother Ernest. Much hilarity ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/30 "2001-11-06T07:25:48Z")
Well colour me embarressed **Arnold** , you’re right. That’ll learn me to go gettin’ uppity litry ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/31 "2001-11-06T22:02:35Z")
Bring on those uppity ideas! It’s a nice change to see a cultural reference that dates from before 1960. You had the names right. But you should still go re-read the play, it’s a hoot (and my favourite Wilde play). You can find it online at the [Gutenberg Project](http://www.gutenberg.net) (click on browse by author). ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/32 "2001-11-06T22:31:48Z")
_Mr. Worthing!_ Arise, sir, from that semi-recumbent posture. It is most _indecorous_. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/33 "2001-11-07T12:55:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > He? _He?_ **He?**. Oh c’mon; it wasn’t _that_ funny. > [@](#): > > _checks_ > > Yep, still female. You realize, of course, that photographic evidence will be required. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/34 "2001-11-08T17:32:25Z")
Naked? Did someone say naked? :: peeks head into room:: Oh, darn. Another figuratively speaking one. 😛 ::walks up to **Algernon** , hands him a single rose, hugs him, drops a quick kiss on his cheek, then goes to get in line behind **Ethilrist** and **Hamlet** :: I agree with **Chronos** , you’ll do fine here, dear. Welcome aboard! 🙂 purplebear [sub]_who is decidedly female, neither a bear nor purple, is the resident hug-a-holic, and is rather more fond of smilies than her friend **ChiefScott** likes._[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/35 "2001-11-08T20:19:24Z")
::walks back up to the lecturn, laughing:: You people crack me up. Thank’s all for the flowers… the implicit ones as well as the explicit ones. You know who you are, and there are too many to mention individually. I am grateful for your support and encouragement, yet recognize that I’ll need a thick skin when I screw up. That’s OK… keep me honest. I am honored that you’ve noticed me… and having my [first non-introductory thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=97476) be put into Threadspotting yesterday was a shocking, but exceedingly pleasant surprise. I’m envious of your collective wit and charm. I look forward to my time with you. OK. Enough formality… are you ready to celebrate? … we’ve got an open bar in the back (bottles, tappers, and 16 different Vodkas) … Gwen Stefani will be performing later on this stage (as soon as we clean up all these flowers) … there will be a gathering of Pit devotees down by the pool (and yes, security guards have been posted) … and lastly, what you’ve all been waiting for, the naked newbies will be in Suite 300, beginning at 8 pm (flourescent condoms will be supplied fee of charge). So… what are you all waiting for?.. let’s party!!! ::leaps into the throng and gets held aloft by scores of uplifted hands, smiling, as nubile young dopers take advantage of his defenseless state:: ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182/36 "2001-11-08T20:24:00Z")
Oops… must’ve started drinking too soon… that should read “lectern” and “florescent” … ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naked-newbie-coming-out/91182.md?page=1)