# Name 3 things you'd bring to a cashier that would freak them out
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824
**Category:** The Game Room
**Created:** [February 1, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824 "2011-02-01T21:17:47Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/1 "2011-02-01T21:17:47Z")
Inspired by [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=595447).
> [@Just check my groceries, please. Without the fucking commentary.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/28):
>
> I’ll bring a bottle of the strongest sleep medicine, a pregnancy test, and a coat hanger.
Box of condoms, suckers, My Little Pony.
---
### Author:  [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/2 "2011-02-01T21:41:35Z")
Box of cheap wine, Ex-Lax, water balloons
---
### Author:  [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/3 "2011-02-01T21:50:29Z")
A bottle of Ocean Spray Cran-Apple Juice, a can of Campbell’s Creamy Tomato soup, and the decapitated head of the produce manager on a pike.
What? Am I not playing the game right?
---
### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/4 "2011-02-01T21:53:14Z")
In b4 the [link](http://xkcd.com/236/).
---
### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/5 "2011-02-01T21:55:56Z")
When I was in college band, we had a scavenger hunt of sorts where one of the items you had to bring in was a convenience store receipt with exactly three items on it: Condoms, vaseline, and bananas. Nobody quibbled when one of the hunters couldn’t find vaseline in the store, so bought KY jelly instead.
---
### Author:  [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/6 "2011-02-01T21:59:45Z")
Ah, yes. We used to play this at [Meijer](http://www.meijer.com/), where you can buy literally anything, 24/7/364 (closed on Christmas). They even had a pet department, which made for some really interesting combinations, i.e., Vaseline/jumper cables/hamster, or boning knife/parakeet/box of Shake’n’Bake.
Me, I liked to go for the “huh?” We showed up after prom to pick up snacks for the ride to the amusement park the next day, so my purchases were Mountain Dew, Corn Nuts, and Snowballs, as well as a three-pack of dishtowels, some rubber bands, and a yam. And of course, I was in an evening gown at the time. I also tried to ride the mechanical pony at the front of the store - sidesaddle, of course - but they told me I was too heavy and shooed me off.
---
### Author:  [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/7 "2011-02-01T22:02:57Z")
My son (2 1/2 yrs old) was playing grocery store in the kitchen. In his bag he chose the vaseline my wife uses as lip balm, and a bunch of bananas. Thankfully we keep the condoms upstairs.
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/8 "2011-02-01T22:11:43Z")
Pack of Razor blades, bag of apples. On Halloween.
---
### Author:  [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/9 "2011-02-01T22:15:51Z")
> [@Darth\_Sensitive](#):
>
> Inspired by [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=595447).
>
> Box of condoms, suckers, My Little Pony.
That isn’t bad at all IMO. I’m seeing a couple who want some alone time and don’t want another kid!
---
### Author:  [@Jaguars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaguars)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/10 "2011-02-01T22:39:07Z")
KY jelly, dog collar or leash, wine (If your supermarket sells it) 😉
---
### Author:  [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/11 "2011-02-01T22:54:14Z")
You’re gonna get your dog drunk before you fuck him?
😉
---
### Author:  [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/12 "2011-02-01T23:10:59Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#):
>
> A bottle of Ocean Spray Cran-Apple Juice, a can of Campbell’s Creamy Tomato soup, and the decapitated head of the produce manager on a pike.
>
> What? Am I not playing the game right?
Well, my first thought upon seeing this thread was “A severed head, a hacksaw, and a bottle of chloroform.”
More in the spirit if the thread, a saw, a tarp, and bleach.
---
### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/13 "2011-02-01T23:17:37Z")
Census taker, fava beans, chianti.
---
### Author:  [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/14 "2011-02-02T15:03:39Z")
Hacksaw, meat grinder, plunger.
Tarp, shovel, lye.
12 pack of cola/energy drinks, adult diapers, sunglasses.
Candles, wet wipes, tampons.
Plastic utensils, paper plates, enema kit.
I’ve many times found myself in a supermarket line late at night wondering what people must think of my purchases when seen without any context.
Recently the local supermarket had a terrific sale on 12 packs of soda (my one vice), but you could only get the sale price if you spent at least $10 on other items and you _had_ to buy five 12 packs… which I didn’t know until I got up to the counter so I had to fill out my order but didn’t particularly need anything else. Ended up grabbing a box of condoms and a quart of my wife’s favorite ice cream.
I’m sure the cashier thought me a true casanova.
---
### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/15 "2011-02-02T15:12:06Z")
Dulcolax, a mirror and a turkey baster.
---
### Author:  [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/16 "2011-02-02T15:14:23Z")
A shovel, cake mix, and rat poison.
---
### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/17 "2011-02-02T15:15:42Z")
Three bottles of liquor and a pack of baby diapers.
Have the cashier take back the diapers as you don’t have enough money.
---
### Author:  [@Uncle\_Goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Goat)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/18 "2011-02-02T15:16:55Z")
Apparently no one here has ever worked as a cashier. Want to gross out the cashier? It’s hard to top the douche bag who pulls his bills from his sock after jogging.
---
### Author:  [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/19 "2011-02-02T15:28:01Z")
> [@Uncle\_Goat](#):
>
> Apparently no one here has ever worked as a cashier. Want to gross out the cashier? It’s hard to top the douche bag who pulls his bills from his sock after jogging.
I can think of several grosser places to extract a few bills from.
---
### Author:  [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824/20 "2011-02-02T16:25:08Z")
A hand mirror, scissors, and Preparation H.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-3-things-youd-bring-to-a-cashier-that-would-freak-them-out/569824.md?page=2)