# Name an artifact that will baffle archaeologists in the year 4000 A.D. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772 "2001-02-16T17:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/21 "2001-02-17T06:31:33Z")
I’m not sure if this qualifies, but it was too damned funny not to throw in here: [The Drinking Penis](http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_206635.html) ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/22 "2001-02-17T06:43:58Z")
A transcript of a typical (FILL IN YOUR FAVORITE SDMB FORUM) exchange. With cigarettes out of fashion for over 3000 years, they will surely come to the conclusion that Satan was combustible. God knows what they would draw from some of the more esoteric sigs. They’ll research me, find out I was a Kentuckian, and probably come to the wrong conclusion about mine, though. Sir ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/23 "2001-02-17T06:46:36Z")
“1500” years. ---
**Author:** ![Pismonque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/46a35a/32.png) [@Pismonque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pismonque)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/24 "2001-02-17T07:12:47Z")
Pants. In the year 4000 an archaeologist will discover the remains of a Gap store (or Abercrombie & Fitch or wherever teens are shopping these days) and determine from the abundance of huge, baggy pants that Americans circa 2000 were a grossly obese lot. God forbid the poor bastard should unearth a cache of _used_ pants and try to glean physiological information from the wear patterns. _Strangely, it appears that humans of the era had extremely short femurs, very long tibias, and sat on their lower backs._ ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/25 "2001-02-17T08:11:10Z")
Condoms. Cellular phones. Typewriters and computer keyboards. Keys. ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/26 "2001-02-17T08:13:51Z")
This reminds me of a **Calvin & Hobbes** cartoon where Calvin digs up a bunch of junk from his backyard and thinks it’s a dinosaur. He finds a glass bottle, some silverware, puts it together and calls it the Calvinosaurus (I believe, though it’s been a while). This _really_ makes sense to me. We’ve moved onto plastic bottles for most soft drinks, how far away is something beyond that, or something beyond eating utensils (maybe food just floating up to our mouths :)). By 4000 A.D., I can imagine pretty much anything we use regularly today seeming strange to them. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > **EVERYONE: Scrap your CD player and go buy a Minidisc deck! NOW!** Definitely **SPOOFE**. I’m currently saving up for one. My friend composed the music for my final film project last semester. I thought we could just tape it, and he suggested using a mini-disc. It was cheap and it sounded great! Reuseable, portable, great sound, and you can record on the portable systems (don’t need to buy a separate burner)…sign me up! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/27 "2001-02-17T18:10:27Z")
Nothing to add really to the OP, but I’ll continue the hijack by saying “me too” to the Minidisc angle. I’ve used it for recording live music (of less than legal origins) since I got it last summer at several gigs. I mainly got it for recording my own original music. It was great to record CD-quality demos at band practice each week. Finally, they beat the hell out of portable mp3 players, too. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/28 "2001-02-17T18:43:35Z")
Darn it, **DDG** , I walked around my house all night last night after reading your post and evaluating objects, trying to imagine if their use would be obvious. Sports Merchandise “Clearly these Americans had a strict clan system, with families worshipping various icons, such as buffaloes, cardinals, and sharks.” says Synthar-Three. “They appear on garments, drinking vessels, and small fabric relics, shaped like animals and filled with small beads. The beads must have once formed a more solid stuffing, because the relics flop around in a most disarming way. Although, it’s sort of cute … maybe we could sell reproductions in our 20th century gift shop.” “But what, exactly, did the Jets clan worship?” asks RamRom-Two, in a puzzled voice. “No one knows, RamRom-Two … that’s a mystery.” “If your theory is correct, Synthar-Three, why would anyone worship a man with a giant white ball for a head?” “Shut up, RamRom-Two.” ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/29 "2001-02-17T19:49:01Z")
I wonder if anything from our civilization we still be standing 4000 years from now. The pyramids are that old but what works of the 19th or 20th century will endure for that time, if anything? ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/30 "2001-02-17T20:34:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Icerigger \* > \*\*I wonder if anything from our civilization we still be standing 4000 years from now. The pyramids are that old but what works of the 19th or 20th century will endure for that time, if anything? \*\* The Statue of Liberty will, albeit from the waist up. “Give your tired, your poor, your knuckle-walking silverbacks yearning to breathe free.” Maybe the NORAD complex inside the mountain will remain intact. Maybe the Empire State Building. Out in the desert, most of Las Vegas will probably still be standing. (Heaven forbid how Synthar-Three will interpet _that_ The Strip!) Plenty of mothballed-bomber depots in the desert will, too. Maybe the repository at Fort Knox. A whole bunch of geostationary satellites still in orbit. And six Apollo lunar module first-stages left on the Moon. Oh, and Dick Clark. Definitely Dick Clark. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/31 "2001-02-18T18:28:30Z")
What would really be interesting is if they actually figured those monstrosities out. “Wow, they really must have hated their women back then! I’m glad we’re living in a much more enlightened time!” ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/32 "2001-02-18T19:29:09Z")
The 20oz plastic bottle. Perhaps the hygiene level in the 20th century was so low that very few people kept their teeth beyond adolesence, forcing them to exist on a liquid diet. ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/33 "2001-02-18T21:24:31Z")
The Yugo; Archaeologists in the distant future will uncover a Yugo, and presume it was some sort of primitive can-opener. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/34 "2001-02-19T02:18:45Z")
Cow tools. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/35 "2001-02-19T02:55:40Z")
Aside from buildings and cars and various plastic objects, I try to think of things that would baffle scientists… I think religious objects and things of that nature will be completely understood… after all, the big 3 have been around for a while, no reason to think they would disappear. things to baffle… personalized things like t-shirts with loved ones pictures on them. many many toys. what I think that sociologists of the year 4000 would be most baffled by (I really like the word baffle) would be things that we do, and why we do them… what would they make of the Napster controversy, and Monica-gate, and things like PETA and NORML… ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/36 "2001-02-19T05:08:26Z")
I was going to say “Woopie” cushions, handshake buzzers and fake vomit, but knowing mankind those will probably still be around. Anything and everything from the Sharper Image catalogue will probably keep them guessing for centuries. Most of the items have me guessing right now. Why would anyone buy that stuff? ---
**Author:** ![Randy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2acd7d/32.png) [@Randy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/37 "2001-02-19T05:44:44Z")
The plastic **Flinstones** toys in Happy Meal bags oughta’ throw 'em a loop. “Looks like it’s from the Stone Age, but it’s made of plastic.” (Of course if Science is still on the same track it is now, they’ll date them 2 MILLION years old)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/38 "2001-02-19T06:31:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tristan \* > \*\*what would they make of the Napster controversy, and Monica-gate, and things like PETA and NORML… \*\* “PETA, NORML? These are obviously acronyms, RamRom-Two, but I can’t figure out for the life of me what the devil they mean.” “Those primitives must not have had a very good grasp of the use of acronyms. Now now, Synthar-Three, gather your belongings or we’ll be late for the NAMBLA meeting.” ---
**Author:** ![Quark\_W.Griswold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Quark\_W.Griswold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quark_W.Griswold)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/39 "2001-02-19T09:20:17Z")
Mount Rushmore. Thousands of CDROMS, but these will only baffle until someone digs up the appropriate reading apparatus. (Which will be found in a bunker in Montana.) It’s hard to imagine our entire civilization disappearing, though. We’re forever preserved on digital media. Will that last forever? ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772/40 "2001-02-19T16:08:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jti \* > \*\*Cow tools. \*\* Probably every _Far Side_. And maybe lots of other comics, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-an-artifact-that-will-baffle-archaeologists-in-the-year-4000-a-d/54772.md?page=3)