# Name change - etiquette question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 2, 2002, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969 "2002-06-02T01:50:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969/21 "2002-06-05T13:42:25Z")
My mom is First Middle Married (she’s 48) as am I and my sister and my SIL and for that matter, everyone on my husband’s side. I’ve never even heard of the alternative until today. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969/22 "2002-06-05T21:20:44Z")
Forgot to check Miss Manners last night. However, I remember very clearly one thing she discussed, which was the usage of names with the title “Mrs”. A married woman is Mrs Husband’s First & Last Name. A widow is the same. However, a divorced woman is Mrs Maidenname Marriedname. So the former Jane Smith, who married John Doe, would be Mrs John Doe. If he died, she would still be Mrs John Doe. However, if she divorced him before his demise, she would be Mrs Smith Doe. She could be Jane Doe, but never MRS Jane Doe. (Mrs, apparently, should never prefix a woman’s own given name.) To me, this seems to indicate that women using the maidenname/marriedname convention look a little like divorcees to traditionalists. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969/23 "2002-06-05T21:30:39Z")
Mrs. Kunilou went with First Middle Maiden-Married. However, since both her maiden and married names were extremely long, the hyphenated name was longer than a lot of forms had room for. She wound up using First Maiden Married but she hasn’t exactly gotten rid of her middle name. When there’s a form long enough, she’ll use them all. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969/24 "2002-06-05T21:44:57Z")
> [@](#): > > To me, this seems to indicate that women using the maidenname/marriedname convention look a little like divorcees to traditionalists. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Only if they use _Mrs_ Maidenname Marriedname. Can’t put my hands on the right book , but I think Miss Manners herself used Daphne Maidenname Marriedname. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969/25 "2002-06-05T23:34:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by doreen \* > \*\*Only if they use _Mrs_ Maidenname Marriedname. Can’t put my hands on the right book , but I think Miss Manners herself used Daphne Maidenname Marriedname. \*\* Doubtful - her name is Judith Martin. :: D&R :: 😃 ::sneaking back in:: It is in the _Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior_ - which I have and just need to remember to look up. ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969/26 "2002-06-06T19:15:20Z")
My mom HATED her first name, she became Middlename Maidenname Marriedname ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969/27 "2002-06-06T19:22:38Z")
My mom HATED her first name, she became Middlename Maidenname Marriedname [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-change-etiquette-question/111969.md?page=1)