# Name my hypothetical baby! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217 "2010-02-16T17:41:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/21 "2010-02-16T18:59:56Z")
I will give Duncan serious consideration. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/22 "2010-02-16T19:03:51Z")
So are you **Really Not All That Bright**? Or are you **Really Not All That Bright** ’s future spouse? I’m confused. Who are we speaking with here, the poster who’s name we know? Or someone we’ve never met before? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/23 "2010-02-16T19:17:52Z")
I’m me. That is, **Really Not All That Bright**. Why? Did you think I was a chick? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/24 "2010-02-16T19:22:17Z")
Sorry, my bad. I misread this; > [@](#): > > Really Not All That Bride and I ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/25 "2010-02-16T19:26:11Z")
Oh I see. That could be confusing. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/26 "2010-02-16T20:14:24Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Skyler and Tyler are quarterback names. I totally disagree; Skyler is the name of my old boss, who had a masters in Sociology, very smart and very good with people. Graphic designer in his spare time. Van is a car, not a name. Easy to mock. Wouldn’t name your kid Sedan, would you? Reminder of Van Jones isn’t a positive connotation. A lot of people are saying give them something easy to pronounce and spell - I agree entirely. But don’t make it a name in the top 100 (look for lists of recent years) - then you run the risk of there being multiple Chris’s or Brad’s in their class, and your kid being misremembered or worse, having to go by a nickname. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/27 "2010-02-16T20:57:49Z")
> [@Emily\_Litella](#): > > Van Johnson and Van Morrison would disagree with you. > > How about Ethan? You mean George Ivan Morrison? Or Charles Van Johnson? Those guys with real names who chose to go by nicknames or middle names? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/28 "2010-02-16T20:59:32Z")
Damien. No reason, I just really like that name. You could give the kid a normal first name, and an unusual/intimidating middle name. If your kid’s Joe Vartan, he can choose to be normal or special. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/29 "2010-02-16T21:14:29Z")
Van is a pair of shoes. How about: Will Marcus Caleb Hunter Evan Mason Jake Roman ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/30 "2010-02-16T21:23:12Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > You could give the kid a normal first name, and an unusual/intimidating middle name. If your kid’s Joe Vartan, he can choose to be normal or special. Remember the rule about inevitable elementary school nicknames if you name your child something like Vartan. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/31 "2010-02-16T21:35:19Z")
Cullen. It’s Welsh (Gaelic?) for handsome. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/32 "2010-02-16T21:44:18Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > Cullen. > > It’s Welsh (Gaelic?) for handsome. It’s also the last name of the family of vampires in the Twilight novels, which may cause a large number of people to think you’ve named your kid after them on purpose. Most of the examples of what you call “quarterback names” are pretty popular right now, so you’re kids aren’t likely to be made fun of by other kids. I actually like the sound of Ayrton, but people won’t be able to spell or pronounce it, and it doesn’t seem like the kind of name that would have good nickname options, either. I like nickname options in a name! Just don’t give your kid a nickname as his/her full first name, unless it’s an obscure one. People will always be calling them by the full version of the name, even if that’s not their real name. And if you hate a nickname, don’t give the full version of the name to your kid either, because at some point the nickname will get used - if you’re unlucky, it’ll be their preferred nickname. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/33 "2010-02-16T22:01:11Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > Will: **bleh** > Marcus: **Possible** > Caleb: **Biblical** > Hunter: **This is a profession, not a name.** > Evan: **I see what you did there. Quite possible.** > Mason: **He’s going to openly rule the world.** > Jake: **Always thought this was a cool name.** > Roman: _ **Really?** _ My additions in bold. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/34 "2010-02-16T22:09:49Z")
You don’t like Hunter but you’re okay with “mode of transportation for pedophiles and plumbers”? ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/35 "2010-02-16T22:38:12Z")
Forget the haters. Van is an awesome name. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/36 "2010-02-17T00:42:17Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > You don’t like Hunter but you’re okay with “mode of transportation for pedophiles and plumbers”? _golf clap_ ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/37 "2010-02-17T00:50:03Z")
Vergil or Virgil if you want to go classical. Victor \*Then I’d totally want my Middle name to be Van or Von though… Vincent becomes Vince Vishnu (which would be kinda weird if you guys weren’t Hindu. But hey, I like it) ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/38 "2010-02-17T00:54:27Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > You don’t like Hunter but you’re okay with “mode of transportation for pedophiles and plumbers”? My younger brother and my SIL named my nephew ‘Gunner’. They both love hunting more than life itself but just wanted to skip to the chase. He is a sweet little boy but I am sad he could probably get expelled from school in some jurisdictions just by signing his name on a 1st grade art assignment. I love my own name, Maverick, but the Top Gun jokes only started dying down recently and I predate the movie by a long time. I haven’t ever met anyone else with my name but I know they exist somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/39 "2010-02-17T02:04:36Z")
If you like Jamie but want a more formal first name, you could do like I did, and name him Jamison but call him Jamie. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/40 "2010-02-17T02:13:05Z")
If you want to call him Van, name him Ivan. Van is a diminutive, and naming a kid a diminutive deprives him/her of the ability to have a formal name without jumping through hoops. Like, imagine a kid named Billy…sure, it’s a fine name, but imagine a lawyer going by Billy? Or a professor? It looks…not so good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217.md?page=3)