# Name my hypothetical baby! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217 "2010-02-16T17:41:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/81 "2010-02-18T14:09:37Z")
Vartan is pretty awful. I can see about a billion ways that 9-year-old boys would have a field day with it. Plus, it sounds like a generic villian from a bad SNES RPG. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/82 "2010-02-18T14:11:14Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > [sniip] I therefore gift to you these two Albanian names, my favourites, that I was forbidden to use for my children: > > Shkëlqim [snip] This would probably be instantly pronounceable in Albania, but as an American, when I see this name 1.) my eyes glaze over for an instant 2.) I sound it out in my mind (not knowing exactly how the accent is supposed to pronounced in this case) and 3.) I pronounce it (probably wrong). Now, if you have a grandfather named Shkëlqim and you want to name a son after him, I can understand that. But giving your son a crazy mess of consonants for a name because it looks cool seems unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/83 "2010-02-18T14:26:11Z")
I figured he’d just go by _skeleton_. ---
**Author:** ![JerseyFrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@JerseyFrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyFrank)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/84 "2010-02-18T15:36:42Z")
When our bundle of joy was impending, I was gunning for Frank The Fifth. We had agreed on this for about 15-20 years (HS sweethearts). But when the ultrasound showed that we’d be having a masculine child, the truth came out… she didn’t want another Frank around. Tricked, manipulated, lied to, bamboozled, charade… just some of the words that crossed my mind before I uttered the phrase that changed the world - “You know you’ll never win another argument, right?” So our kid’s name is **Graham** , and I still get told how I “always” get my way. Other suggestions… once I gave up on Frank, I was circling the drain with these names: [ul] [li]Grant[/li][li]Graham[/li][li]Gray (note: my elder child is “Grace E.”, and I was unable to slip “Gray C.” under the radar)[/li][li]Carter (ultimately chosen as the middle name)[/li][li]Quinn (as a possible nickname if we decided to go with Frankie 5)[/li][li]Leo, Don, Mike, and Ralph - but only if only if we had quadtupletes and I could have them trained in martial arts and dress them in blue, purple, orange, and red, respectively… she actually agreed to this on the basis of a low probability of having 4 male kids in one pregnancy.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/85 "2010-02-18T18:52:05Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Not only is it nearly a composite of our two favorites, it will strike fear into the hearts of his enemies. > > Fuck the Rotary Club! 🆒 See, that’s what I thought. It’s not my personal taste in names (the ones on my list were: Joseph, Thomas, Joshua, Matthew, you get the idea). But it’s pretty badass. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/86 "2010-02-18T23:51:27Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Please please please\* PLEASE \*don’t give your kid an ethnic name. My dad is Kashmiri and my mom is Cuban, and my mother fought tooth and nail (and won) for traditionally white names. If you’re raising the kid…pretty much anywhere, they’re gonna be a minority. As is, they’re gonna be biracial, and it isn’t a fun ride - the Indian kids look Indian, but it’s a whole different ball game to look mixed . I am so incredibly grateful that my parents gave me a name that’s easily spelled but not too common, hard to make fun of, etc. If you’re giving them your last name, they’re always going to have to correct how people spell and pronounce it as is. Don’t give 'em a double whammy. > > I’d even suggest against giving him your name as their middle name, if it’s even vaguely ethnic. The only names I can think of off the top of my head that aren’t ethnic are Tara and Sheena, or Lucas like you said. So should no minorities give their children ethnic names, or just minorities who are part of a mixed-race couple? My parents are the same race, minorities, raised me in the States and gave me an ethnic name. As a child I hated it, but now I love it and would never want to change it to something generic. It’s part of my background and who I am. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/87 "2010-02-19T00:14:24Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > I think you should name him Tiano, but in case people pronounce it to rhyme with Piano, you should spell it Tiarno. Thanks, I totally needed to flash back to the Nam tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/88 "2010-02-19T00:47:58Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > But giving your son a crazy mess of consonants for a name because it looks cool seems unnecessary. Are you my wife? You sound just like her. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/89 "2010-03-04T22:09:10Z")
Seems there are more unusual baby names than ever: [http://www.gnn.com/article/trend-of-unusual-baby-names-continues/931181](http://www.gnn.com/article/trend-of-unusual-baby-names-continues/931181) ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/90 "2010-03-04T22:48:55Z")
> [@JerseyFrank](#): > > [li]Carter (ultimately chosen as the middle name)[/li][li]Quinn (as a possible nickname if we decided to go with Frankie 5)[/li] Oooh, I like Carter and Quinn. I like Vartan too, but the nickname possibility is unfortunate. I’ve never met a Daniel that I didn’t like. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/91 "2010-03-04T23:19:40Z")
Just take your favorite Howard Hawks movie set after the 18th century, and pick either the name from either the first or middle name of one of the leads, or whatever name would explain the NICKNAME of one of the leads. Can’t fail. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/92 "2010-03-05T00:31:49Z")
Vartan - I can already hear someone calling him Fartin’ Vartan the first time he passes gas in the playground. And then he’ll be called that until he’s an old man, when it will begin all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/93 "2010-03-05T14:37:27Z")
You say that like it’s a _bad_ thing. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217/94 "2010-03-05T16:41:02Z")
Our boys are Spencer and Colin. Certainly more Rotary Club than quarterback. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-hypothetical-baby/529217.md?page=4)