# Name my pathetic patch of chest hair **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508 "2007-10-04T15:56:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/1 "2007-10-04T15:56:55Z")
I am not a manly man. I bench press roughly twelve pounds and drink crystal light. My favorite new artist is Justin Timberlake. Until I waas sixteen, I was often greeted on the phone as “oh, you must be \_\_\_\_'s daughter.” I have chest hair. But it’s blonde. And starts at my breastbone and extends outwards in a diamond roughly 1.5" in diameter. Here is a [picture.](http://ua.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=35529689&l=7c7f8&id=27400307) I have dubbed this picture “Elliot Aaronson: Boating Enthusiast, Millionaire Extaordinaire”, but that isn’t really relevant. Currently, the patch is named “The Lion’s Mane”, but I need something more ferocious sounding to pump up my ego. Other options entertained have included “the soul patch” and “Steve.” Have a go at it. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/2 "2007-10-04T16:01:56Z")
We can name our chest hair? That’s great! Now that I’m too old for my penis to have a name (or so I’m told), I can still indulge my desire to name body parts. As to the OP, I think “Steve” is a fine name. Just not “Steven;” you don’t want people to think your chest hair is gay. ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/3 "2007-10-04T16:19:12Z")
Short, blonde, curly and kinda cute? I’d call it [Charlene](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlene_Robinson), after Kylie Minogue’s character in [Neighbours](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neighbours)! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/4 "2007-10-04T16:21:09Z")
Tough: Brillo Manly: Steele Woolfe Other: The Love Nest. Forest of Man. Orson. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/5 "2007-10-04T16:24:55Z")
I formerly called mine “The Picnic Area”, as in “c’mon sweetie, and have a seat on The Picnic Area” (accompanied be a come hither leer). This name is currently up for grabs if you’re interested. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/6 "2007-10-04T16:51:49Z")
I would call it the “man patch”. I dunno, just sounds good. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/7 "2007-10-04T17:47:08Z")
Merkin. ---
**Author:** ![IrreverentTone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@IrreverentTone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IrreverentTone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/8 "2007-10-04T17:48:43Z")
Furrrrrby ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/9 "2007-10-04T17:50:17Z")
Matt ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/10 "2007-10-04T17:53:32Z")
No names for for your chest hair but nice nipples. ---
**Author:** ![Montgomery0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Montgomery0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montgomery0)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/11 "2007-10-04T17:58:00Z")
you can call them Thor’s Pubes. (you need to jump onto a table with your fists at your hips by the way, then yell “ha HA!” in the manliest voice you can muster.) ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/12 "2007-10-04T18:20:14Z")
My chest hair connects to my back hair. I think I’ll name it “Cardigan”. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/13 "2007-10-04T18:50:29Z")
Ch-ch-ch-chia! ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/14 "2007-10-04T19:19:20Z")
[QUOTE=Swampwolf] That’s great! Now that I’m too old for my penis to have a name [/quote] Longrod von Hugenstein, in case you were wondering. **Omegaman** , I believe that is the first time I have been complimented on my nipples. I am simultaneously astounded as to how ignorant I am of the qualities of a good nipple but somehow sure that, yes, they are particularly fine. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/15 "2007-10-04T19:22:39Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] Longrod von Hugenstein, in case you were wondering. [/QUOTE] So it’s not Princess Sophia, then? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/16 "2007-10-04T19:25:09Z")
That picture looks like a scene out of _The Talented Mr Ripley_. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/17 "2007-10-04T19:32:23Z")
Mine is Jennifer Aniston’s Comfy Chair, but she said that was for me only. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/18 "2007-10-04T20:36:53Z")
[QUOTE=Quint] I formerly called mine “The Picnic Area”, as in “c’mon sweetie, and have a seat on The Picnic Area” (accompanied be a come hither leer). This name is currently up for grabs if you’re interested. [/QUOTE] Is your chest hair up for grabs? How about “(I’ve got the) Golden Thicket”? ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/19 "2007-10-04T21:26:34Z")
[QUOTE=ForumBot] Longrod von Hugenstein, in case you were wondering [/QUOTE] Good one. Mine was named (not by me, I must point out) “Goliath.” ---
**Author:** ![rhythmonly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@rhythmonly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhythmonly)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508/20 "2007-10-04T22:21:07Z")
“This space for rent”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-pathetic-patch-of-chest-hair/421508.md?page=2)